Previously on FNS- Team Bobble Head Won, Judson bawled like a 4 year old girl and Kross-Eyed Kara was OUT.
Martie is feeling her age and feels it might impact her confidence.
Back in my day…
The victims enter the kitchen, their Challenge is CHOPPED. The Judges are: From Chopped, Scott Conant, Alex Guarnaschelli, Mark Murphy, along with Bob and Susie from Food Network. Alton explains that all bets are off, it’s every man for himself and one person from each team will be up for elimination. Each person will get a mystery basket and have to, in 30 minutes, make a dish using all elements from the basket… and it’s dessert. And they have to include a culinary tip in their presentation.
Team Alton is up first. Justin explains that this basket is like the opposite of Christmas. Instead of a basket of joy, it’s a basket of TERROR. Inside Team Alton’s basket: Hershey’s kisses, pancetta, kumquats and graham crackers.
Welcome to your worst nightmare
Judson is not happy, what a shock. Because he’s a FF (former fatty) he dreads dessert.
I’m not happy.
Alton is urging his team to think about the basket- there’s sweet (kisses), there’s salty (pancetta) and fatty (Judson, oops, I mean, also the pancetta), there is acid (kumquats) and they could build anything out of graham crackers.
Martie doesn’t want to do anything too crazy, you know, anything that might actually WIN her this challenge. The first thing that comes to her mind is S’Mores because it’s not complicated. No kidding- my dog can make a s’more with one paw tied behind his back. The judges are asking her what she is making, so she stops and tells them… and in true Martie fashion RAMBLES, and the judges say “keep going,” as in don’t talk, cook!
Alton takes the bull by the horns and says “If you can’t cook and talk at the same time- SHUT UP and cook.” Whoa! Alton opens up a can of whoop-ass! (For the record, whoop-ass is not included in their basket)
If I have to come in there, someone is going to be VERY sorry!
Justin wants to make an old lunch lady favorite- No Bake cookie. He is convinced that he doesn’t need to unwrap the kisses (if he melts them the chocolate will oooooze out by itself, right?), so he puts them in a pan and then decides to press them through a chinois.
Anyone know how to temper foil?
The judges are like WTF??
It doesn’t really work so he winds up having to add more chocolate and then he put the whole shebang in the microwave. He doesn’t have time to babysit chocolate on the stove. And the judges are like WTF??
Judson is making a chocolate-infused pancetta cornbread.
15 minutes left: Let’s stop by Frenchie’s (Emily) neck of the woods. Scott Conant observes, astutely “Emily is making… something.” Thanks Einstein. Frenchie tells us that she has enough time to bake cupcakes. The judges ask Frenchie what she is making and she replies “An inspiration.” Chocolate, Fried Pancetta, Delight- Retro Rad. Let’s hope it’s not Retro BAD.
10 minutes left: Martie is panicking because she is old and doesn’t move fast. Something is burning. It’s Justin’s chocolate in the microwave that he didn’t have time to babysit.
5 minutes left: Judson is not happy with his cake- seriously is he ever happy? It’s not cooked and he doesn’t have time to put it back in the oven.
Christ on a Bike! Now something ELSE of Justin’s is burning! He’s burned 75% of his pancetta.
Pokey little Martie is moving like a sloth and at 2:37 left Alex tells everyone to START PLATING (which she shouldn’t be doing- they don’t do that on Chopped, and regardless 1/2 of being a chef is getting your timing right) The judges are wondering what in God’s name Justin is doing.