Last week we had to deal with Kerri and Amy competing at work, EOC’s new gallery about complicated clouds, Liz’s past as a coked out party girl and her relationship with her father and Amy holding Maggie hostage in a dirty bathroom.
Speaking of dirty, we open in Liz’s apartment which has shit everywhere with her claiming she like just moved in. Bitch that was like 3 weeks ago and you still have unopened boxes and clothes and home goods strewn around. Kerri enlists her mother to help sort out all the shit so she can throw a housewarming party. Instead her mom tells her to throw out her sweater because it has a hole in it. Kerri instead curls up on her dirty couch and says all her things have holes in them…really? Later outside of a hotel after meeting “John”, Kerri calls Maggie to invite her to her housewarming party. Maggie, not able to do anything alone, tells her she wants to bring Liz because she already had plans with her that evening and Kerri agrees to it. Maggie explains that she hasn’t had a chance to get to know Kerri but she seems nice. I think she secretly wants to judge her apartment and see what she could never afford.
What have you been doing instead of cleaning and unpacking for 3 weeks?
Maggie and her friend with terrible eyebrows are toasting champagne because it’s her birthday and this is their tradition. She discusses it being her first birthday celebrated with Ryan and how special it will be. How come she can afford an iPhone but she can’t afford a case to protect it? Seriously irks me when people don’t have cases on their phones like you can eBay that shit for $3. Later, Ryan takes her out to dinner and they argue about wine and how red will mess up Maggie’s veneers (I knew those chicklets were fake). She even complains because he didn’t get her a cupcake from Crumbs. Maggie kind of complains the entire time about how Ryan is basically a pussy and doesn’t take charge like her other boyfriends and that she isn’t used to dating such a passive person. I guess that is why she is attracted to Eli because he takes delight in ordering her around and being in charge.
Frat boys are only attractive when in college.
Maggie’s friends like pretending they have money and Ryan’s friends are stuck in college phase but she’s decided to mix them all for her birthday. Ryan’s friends are douchebags and two beers short of an attempted rape. They all get completely hammered and start play wrestling, pretending to fuck the air and just lose all sorts of maturity points in the bowling alley. Maggie reprimands Ryan for making her look foolish and then later meets with Liz to bitch about how much she loves Ryan but how he fucked up her birthday by not trying hard enough. Liz doesn’t understand why Maggie stays with someone that treats her so terribly but that’s because Liz has self confidence and Maggie does not. Liz says that even though she comes from a rich family she knows how to stick up for herself and Maggie needs to grow a spine.
I’d be embarrassed too.