Gallery Girls Recap: I’m Set Free

Recaps

By SG | Wednesday, September 12, 2012 | 6:00 am | 13 Comments
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Posted in: Featured, Gallery Girls, Recaps

Last week Ryan kind of threw a birthday get together for Maggie but it wasn’t up to her standards. Liz and Amy had a confrontation regarding Amy’s drinking and Liz’s need to be above her. Kerri confirmed her status as a call girl by showing off an apartment that made everyone wonder how she could afford it. Angela created drama with Alex for no reason about her stupid wannabe exhibition and Claudia tried and failed to sell art.


You can put lipstick on a pig…

Since many of you wanted me to continue recapping Angela, I’ll just make my observations of her short and sweet because she makes my head hurt. We open the show with her getting ready and receiving a phone call from Alex regarding confirmation of a venue for her shitty ass photography. The only issue is she has to be ready to show by the following Saturday and she hasn’t even picked out her photos or created prints yet. She says she is worried about her reputation but I’m pretty sure she’s way past that point by the looks of her wardrobe. Later in the show she finally gets around to printing her works at Milk Studios which she probably got for free by sleeping with the guy. She continues to worry about failing which is all an act since she is already a failure.


Someone check Claudia for lice.

Fair Warning: I seriously crush on The Sucklord and I have no idea why but I do so I’ll probably talk a lot about him. Morgan needs his own show but since he doesn’t have one I’ll settle for Gallery Girls cameos. Claudia and Chantal meet with Morgan at his studio where they discuss having him come in and create pieces that more suit the clients of EOC. Um…last I checked you bitches weren’t selling any art so what clients are you speaking of? Dust bunnies don’t have credit cards. Chantal starts to come around and see the genius of his work but Claudia is scared of him and can’t get past his quirks. She keeps scratching her hair and nervously discusses his pieces unsure of allowing him to have a showing at EOC and if it will scare away their current clients (again, what clients?). They eventually get him to agree on doing something more contemporary like Occupy Wall Street with his own spin. Fun Fact this was taped around the first few weeks of December last year. Confession: Chantal slightly redeemed herself because she actually liked Sucklord’s work. Slightly.


Ryan doesn’t know what a Pennsylvania is. He’s kinda dumb.

Maggie calls her mother as she is getting ready to go to Amy’s dinner party. Okay seriously these girls need to get their priorities in line because Angela and Maggie both have spider web iPhones. Seriously if you dumb bitches paid $5 for a cover from eBay then your phone probably wouldn’t have shattered. And why don’t you have phone insurance?? Sorry that kind of thing irks me especially with Maggie packing and complaining about missing a LV bag and wearing Prada shoes. That money could have went to a better apartment or a decent couch…hell a PHONE COVER. Maggie’s apartment is really shitty and I feel like roaches crawl around freely with the rats and the reason they barely shoot her apartment is because there are so many crawling into frame. Later her and Ryan take a bus to visit her mom in PA and she explains that her mom worked hard for everything she has while her father has family money and that they are divorced. Maggie’s mom gets into her about working for Eli and how unhappy she appears. Ryan joins in about leaving Eli Klein for a better opportunity that pays. Add another notch to the Poor Maggie Belt because she confesses that Ryan fell in love with her mother before he ever fell in love with her. Yay self-esteem. All that bitching finally gets to Maggie as she goes on a few interviews after leaving her mom’s house in hopes of finding a paying job.


How come it rings once and then goes to voicemail?

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SG
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SG lives life by a few rules: Avoid sunlight, stay dry and never eat after midnight.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    2muchbravo
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 6:51 am

    Just scanned the beginning of your ‘cap cuz I gotta go mow the lawn. I don’t have a glam gallery girl life. I like Sucklord too. I remember him from that design show and the “Sucklord” thing is a facade. He was a nice guy. Heck, even Simon de Po00rey has a soft spot for him.

  2. 2
    Stumblebum
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 7:35 am

    I love The Sucklord too! He has that quirky, nerdy, I-don’t-give-a- fuck attitude that I think is great. And he’s sexy and cool in his own right. Bravo should DEFINITELY give him a show! I wonder why they haven’t. I think it would be a lot better than some of the other crap they produce.

  3. 3
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 9:25 am

    I can imagine that any girl’s mom would be thrilled for her to bring Sucklord home.

    Well, maybe not so much, but they should. He is such a sweetie in spite of his facade. I was so bummed when he was taken off Work of Art, and I agree that he should have his own show.

  4. 4
    Krista
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    I also am into the Sucklord in a bizarre sort of way but I also see that he was most likely a typical nerd who now puts on a front to be taken seriously and seem authoritative- a perfect fit for the Gallery Girls crowd! Should he get his own show? I loved watching him on Work of Art but I’m not sure how the general public would respond. My guess was this cameo was his “screentest” to prove his worthiness to the Bravo execs.

    Did anyone else notice that Amy’s scene with her rushing to get to work because she was late was a reshoot (and probably 100% staged to begin with)? Or perhaps it was the scene of her arriving to work that was later filmed…? She was seen with horrific, creased jet black eyeshadow as she got into the cab and demanded the driver go fast but when she arrived to work her face was practically bare. Unless she was severely hung over and had a makeup remover with her on the way to work (highly possible with this girl), things aren’t adding up.

    I surprised that Chantal not only grooms her nether regions (she does she like a bush fan to me) but also has a puppy?! Unless she was planning to sacrifice the poor animal in one of her satanic rituals, I don’t believe any of this nonsense.

    OVERALL:

    Liz: MIA in the MIA this week? Nowhere to be found
    Kerri: Call girl needs to own it. Now THAT would be worth watching.
    Amy: A vicitim of her upbringing. Still sympathetic for her but she needs a better work ethic.
    Chantal: Less insufferable this week but still a terrible person.
    Claudia: Really like her Golden Girls inspired bedazzled blouse. Still think she’s pretty and she slides for changing to a favorable opinion of Sucklord.
    Angela: One of my favorites to watch because she’s still incredibly awful. So transparently insecure.
    Amy: Weird as hell. Still can’t stand her inability to speak clearly. How she landed her cute boyfriend is beyond me.

    Can’t wait til next week’s episode! Looking forward to your recap!

  5. 5
    Krista
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    ****That last one should read Maggie not Amy. I try not to think of her so her name slips my mind quite easily.

  6. 6
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 9:23 am

    @SG I like The Sucklord too! He’s entertaining and gives off a familiar feeling. That reminds everybody of people they knew in school.

    @2muchbravo That’s so cool you got to meet him! I’d already guessed he’s actually real sweet in his regular life. He’s so talented at being a sucky actor! I wonder if that’s how he picked his name. I wish he’d made EOC some evil Barbie tampax holders though. With blinged out persocom ears.

    I’m calling bullshit on Maggie. Her Bravo page says she’s also been an intern at Cottelston Advisors and Christie’s. And another site says Eli got her on the show. Who knows which 1 made up that lame ass story line they’ve got though. About her needing a letter that bad.

    Plus her hair’s annoying. She needs to pick either flat limp or dirty. All 3 at 1 time is out of style.

    At least Chantal knows she’s trying to look like an anime character. But I think people would respect her more if she went ahead and supersized her contact lenses. Candylens has got giant 1s for like $20.

  7. 7
    c8h10n4o2
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 9:42 am

    The Sucklord inspired me to go back and watch some of WOA Season 2, and in doing so I was reminded of how much I absolutely LOATHED Lola. Deep ravines of hatred bubbling with the magma of repulsion. After that reminder, the bitches on this show look pretty tame.

  8. 8
    Terrence
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    Okay allow me to be the dissenter and say that I didn’t care for the Sucklord at ALL! I found him to be way too arrogant and just annoying. I also hate that gosh darn rat tail. Gross!

    Chantal is just plain rude. Get some manners.

  9. 9
    lagitha
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    OK, I’m just a middle-aged schoolteacher who hasn’t taken an art class since Boys’ and Girls’ club summer day camp, but even *I* know:
    -that prints are assigned edition numbers, and that it takes longer than an hour to hang an installation (although Angela The Photographer didn’t);
    -that when someone in the art world asks what you think of a piece, you say more than, “It looks like the black paint is on top of the rest of the paint” (although Maggie the leg-scratcher-during-the-interview didn’t);
    -that if you’ve only been invited allowed to set foot in a Simon dePury auction because your sleezy realityshow put you there, you don’t shun the artist who had been sold by DePury even before Work of Art , and who can make you your first dollar (even though the Three Witches didn’t).

  10. 10
    Valleygirl
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    Ok I’m whatevs about mostly everyone, but I seriously think Maggie has some major issues. Like the way she whispers to herself and talks with that low voice is really creepy. Like what is wrong with her?? It’s beyond weird. Can her and Eli just go away and get married already? Amy just strikes me as someone who tries way way too hard and I understand why people don’t want to be around her. And I love how bitchy Chantal got with Angela at her show.
    Chantal needs to focus less on getting her downstairs waxed and focus on her damn eyebrows. Those need to be shaped. Like yesterday.

  11. 11
    SG SG
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    I really…REALLY hoped that Maggie was just getting a bad edit but reading her tweets makes me believe she really is that pathetic and low in the self-esteem department. At least she was smart enough to date a caveman so she can at least feel intelligent. Seriously though can you imagine the conversations they have? Granted I would take him over Spencer but that’s not really saying much.

  12. 12
    2muchbravo
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 10:13 am

    True about Chantal’s eyebrows! Please pluck, wax, thread sweetie!
    Playdoh is the exact way to describe Amy’s face. It’s like it wasn’t quite finished being formed. Sorry, I’m perfect. I can say that ;-)
    Can’t wait for her to get her ass handed to her by Sharon. What a ballsy thing to do giving Kerri that list of stuff. But, she doesn’t seem all that serious about her internship if she’s late. Prolly thinks she can get away with anything since she’s rich and EVERY gallery must just be dying to have her. She’s kind of pathetic, though.
    And, was Sharon’s coat the ugliest thing you’ve seen recently? I think it was Wookie hair!

  13. 13
    Susan Meyers
    Posted September 15, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Later her and Ryan…

    Love your recap. I count on this website to give me intelligent snark and it never fails. But please don’t fall prey to the modern interpretation of good grammar. It is and always will be…Later, she and Ryan.

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