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Tuesday, August 28, 2012
6:00 am
27 Comments
Tagged: Amy Poliakoff, Angela Pham, bravo, Chantal Chadwick, Claudia Martinez, Eli Klein Gallery, Eli Klein looks like Eraserhead, End of Century, gallery girls, Invisible Dogs and Water Bowls, Kerri Lisa, Lara has a last name!, Lara Hodulick, Liz has daddy issues, Liz Margulies, Maggie is pathetic, Maggie Schaffer, poor amy, Wild Child
Liz and her mother are in her small ass apartment making lobsters and Liz explains that she has a great relationship with her mother who was always nurturing and loving with her. Then she drops the bomb that a few years ago she was partying hard on cocaine every night and ended up in rehab and ever since her father has lost respect for her. What I can’t really get over is the fact that she has to eat on small ass tables that are less than a foot from her bed. Guys Gramercy is really expensive so she has to be paying at least tens of thousands a month on a fucking one room apartment that doesn’t even face the park. People in New York kill me with the way they treat real estate. Liz attends The School of Visual Arts as she has wanted to be an artist since she was 3 years old pointing out all of her dad’s art. She starts work on a piece that someone steps on and she goes around accusing everyone of ruining her piece. Then she bomb drops again by saying that all the kids in her class are quiet little Asians who get scared easily when she gets loud and she says this LOUDLY. Later at dinner with her father, Liz explains that he lives in Miami so she doesn’t see him often and that he is basically very cold to her since she disappointed him and had to go to rehab. He kind of ignores most of what she tries to tell him and just wishes she does well in school. Liz gets dramatic and says that he always blames her for things going wrong and hasn’t said that he loves her in over 10 years and that she basically does everything for his approval. It’s okay Liz you don’t have to be Daddy’s girl forever…be glad he pays for all your shit and live your spoiled life.
Sneak Peek from Paper Magazine of Angela’s show
Shitty music about sex starts playing so that can only mean an Angela segment is approaching. I’ll be quick because I can’t stand her. She waitresses for a living to make money but also does freelance photography and is hired to shoot the Creators Project in Brooklyn which is exciting because it is something she would attend on her own free time. She’s hired by Paper which means that pictures will be super fucking hipster and artsy fartsy. Angela ends up dressing in what she calls Puritan Slut wear which is impractical but she is a slave to fashion and will suffer for it. Bitch your clothes are all the same shit…sheer black so you can show off your boy-sized tits and no-ass. She explains that she doesn’t get to experience the awesome art because she has to worry about her ISO and that she would rather take pictures of her friends anyway. Kind of reminds me of the bitches in Yearbook who only took photos of their friends and basically made the yearbook a memory book of all their stupid antics with some sort of popular kids thrown in for good measure. Later, Angela meets with Ben and Alex to discuss putting on an event to highlight her photography and make her an IT girl in the photo world. Ben tells her she basically needs to step her shit up and Alex volunteers to use his contacts to get people to attend the event and find the venue. Alex sets her up with Bill Gates but because he is interested in actually getting to know her instead of fucking her she is immediately bored. She says that she can’t date a man who doesn’t have an iPhone and Gmail…she realizes those are two competing companies right? Fucking hipsters…BTW remember when she said she was cut off because she rebelled to live in New York? She also said in an interview with Paper that she gets help from her parents so um which is it…
So Amy has old woman hands and a wonky eye…
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27 Comments
I’m quite sure that Amy is actually 45-years-old. When I initially saw the pictures of the cast, I assumed she was going to be a mentor type who guides the younger, impressionable ones into the art world.
I hate to come to the defense of Maggie but I think she said her friend had a nice apartment because Amy was gushing over his looks and personality… she was just adding to his list of credentials. Not random or all that pretentious.
Chantal- Loathe
Angela- Loathe
Maggie- Loathe
Liz- I like in the same way I liked Kristin Cavallari from LB/The Hills. A pretty, spoiled bitch that brings the voice of the people to the show.
Kerri- I like her eyelashes. She’s whatever.
Claudia- I think is actually kinda pretty; still undecided on her as a person.
Amy- Soft spot for the troll. Hope Liz doesn’t hurt her feelings too much next week.
@Krista. You took the words right out of my mouth about Amy’s age. She looks at least a decade older than the rest of the girls. And every time I see her she reminds me of Lindsey Blohan, from the alcohol-bloated face, the double chin and that burned-up hair to the pretentious, drunk hot mess that she always is. She just screams “intervention” but nobody even cares enough to bother.
And what’s with Chantal’s “look”? She looks like a Chinese flapper from the 20′s. Not a good combination for a white chick with a scrunched up face and horrible eyebrows. I’m sure she thinks she’s a cross between Betty Davis and Brooke Shield with that mess of brows but it just makes her face look even more like somebody stepped on her head and squished it when she was a baby.
Eli is oily and disgusting. Maggie’s self esteem would improve if she would scrub herself down with Dawn dish washing soap like they do those poor animals caught in oil slicks and told him to eff off. But he’s not going to find a woman with self-esteem that can stand him, and Maggie’s never going to be interested in a guy that treats her right, so she might as well keep on counting rocks and giving him handies under his desk while he tells her what a failure she is.
The rest, just meh. I feel sorry for Claudia. Liz is cool. Angela…well every show has to have a fag hag and a whore. They just got there money’s worth here and combined the two into Angela. Kerri, poor thing, has to work with Amy all day. Nuff said there.
Oh, and I loved the recap, Wild Child. Sooooo much better than the show.
I think all of these people are horrid.
I’m obsessed with them.
Obsessed!
I agree that these people are horrid..went on Eli’s facebook page and shock ..he does have friends..many being from his college years..don’t get it at all!!!!
Maggie is a disaster~ a true tool with no personality…I also think Maggie was impressed with that guys apt. because she lives in a hell hole! Her BF has closet space and she keeps her shoes in a giant plastic bag…she is a door mat..if you are wondering about her apt. check on the girls’s apt. tours on BRAVO.
Chantel..I’ve said it before ..she is a Tim Burtan character ..a true Nightmare…
Claudia ..I may like her..stupid to give Chantel all that $$ to invest in..no one would go there to buy art ..
Angelia..grow some boobs..babe..you don’t need pasties you have no tits..I only say that because she is such a bitch with an overblown ego.
In fact the Brooklyn girls are not edgy..they are pathatic..
Amy..all that bleach(and booze) went to her head ..PATHETIC
Liz~ I agree with KRISTA..she is like Kristen C. from LH..and I was on team Kristen..couldn’t stand Lauren C.
I guess I’m on Team Liz..also she has great taste..love her mother’s necklace she wears around her neck all the time
and last but not least Kerri…I think she is Ok, but I do wonder about the call girl thing…she has an apt. that goes for abour $2500.00 a month or more..but she also plays up the poor girl image, because she went to private school…facebook again…
Only one I like is Liz and sortof Claudia, the rest of them stink of desperation…”Look at me, I’m so edgy.” BS. Own up to it, bitches.
I bet they were rather unpopular in HS (or whereever…) they are now overcompensating. They all need figure out they’re still trying too hard.
Omg, the eyebrows on this show!!!! As a former aesthetician, I cannot handle it.
That is all.
@ 6 Leenie– maybe the eyebrows are considered “wearable art” ?? Like a funky pin??????
I was so grossed out when The Nightmare Before Christmas ( Chantel) was brushing hers..too awful ..I bet they have underarm hair too!!!
I am also waiting for next week’s show..entittled ..Eli uses Human Mop!!..he will flip Maggie over , stick her head in a dirty bucket of soapy water and mop the floors after an “opening” … while Liz looks on from her desk and points out missed spots on the floor..and muttering,” sick”
“I’m pretty sure she drinks a lot of semen and spit as she says she has no problem sending food back if she thinks something is wrong with it”
That is a flat out awesome sentence, and it pretty much sums this show up. Thank you for a great recap
I’ve never understood why Maggie stays and puts up with Eli and his antics. I mean she graduated THREE years ago! I don’t know the intricacies of the art world but I was always under the impression that an internship last a few months a year tops, particularly AFTER graduation. It’s just very bizarre. Counting pebbles? Really? There is no way. I’d just seperate them and make sure they look even. No one in their right mind counts pebbles. Very bizarre indeed. There’s definitely more to the story.
As far as Kerri being able to afford the apartment. Well maybe she got a rent controlled apartment or something. I’m in the DC area which is almost as expensive as New York but every now and then I’ll hear about the occasional rent controlled/subsidized apartment in the middle of the hippest neighborhood going for $1000 but of course there’s a 3 year waiting list. Or maybe she’s one of those people who sinks over half their income into an apartment.
I don’t know about that rent controlled idea, my daughter and her husband live on the UES in a one bedroom apt. (across from the all glass fish bowl condo. building shown on Selling NYC)…they pay over $3,500.00 a month, and before that they lived in a tiny hole in the upper 70s and paid $2,300. That was 4 years ago!!! When the rental market was down ..but it is back up now and very expensive again..
.. Liz lives in an area as expensive or maybe more than the UES and she has a one bedroom. ..
There are very few rent controlled apt.s left in NYC..so I doubt she got one , because when someone moves out the rent goes sky high to market value..so even if she were lucky enough to snag “a rent controlled”..the rent would be the same as anywhere else..it is after you move in it doesn’t go up as much as other rents..and you have to have an income below a set amount for it to stay rent controlled.
I really think that she is playing poor girl or she is an escort..her apt is in a much better location than “trust fund” Maggie (can’t be much of a trust there LOL)…the only thing LIZ can’t afford are drinks!
I think Maggie wanted to be on the show and that is why she is putting up with ELI..One of my friend’s daughters works for a real gallery in the city that is well known…She worked there during college summers and landed a job there right after graduation.a real paying job…she loves it but it is tiring..there are events all the time..you could be out everynight if you chose too..I asked my friend what her daughter thinks of Gallery Girls..and she thinks it is a fake..that the show is scripted and none of those people are taken seriously..also Maggie would never get a good gallery job , because she has been out of college too long..so she may have taken this job to help her move along in the art world..I think the only thing she will move into is a new job as a doormat at a well known gallery or auction house..
Opps..I meant Kerri not Liz..poor rich Liz is stuck in a studio with tray tables used for a dining table..her father has her on a really short leash!!!!!!!!!
..oops again..by saying that Maggie took “this job”… I meant this “long intership ” with Eli so please substitute “job for long 3 year internship” for the word job..It looks like she did leave ELI and when she saw that they were casting for Gallery Girls..she must have ran back into Eli’s arms….Lucky Eli..;)
TV Junkie interesting points. I have just met a couple people bragging about their $1000 Dupont studios and $800 one bedroom near U street (I realize you may not know where those places are trust me their expensive and $800 won’t get a room for rent let alone a one bedroom). Although to fair the $1000 Dupont studio was tiny. Basically a whole apartment in 150 square feet. I was like a three year waiting list for this? Shoulder shrug walking distance to all the bars is better than a condo in the burbs.
Anywho yeah I’m thinking that yes indeed Maggie just wanted to be on the show. She says that she’s doing it so Eli will “sign off” on her time spent and give her credit. But she’s already graduated. She doesn’t need college credit. Just list the time spent at Eli’s gallery on one’s resume. If she already graduated it doesn’t matter about credit. At this point it’s about the experience which she has versus “credit”. It’s all so fishy. Also if she’s a trust fund baby then why even waste one’s time doing all that grunt work. I mean if she can’t get a job at a gallery then do like anyone else who can’t find a job but has money in the bank. Watch an excessive amount of tv and develop a drinking habit/problem. Yeah homegirl just wanted to be on tv.
I also think if any intern at a prominent gallery wanted to be on Gallery Girls..they would have been let go..remember when Bethany was first on NYC Housewives..she dated someone in finance and he lost his job with his company because he appeared on NYC Housewives…
It really only helps people at the bottom of the career ladder to be on these BRAVO shows…if you have nothing..you have nothing to lose…
I watched for the first time last night and laughed and laughed. Most hilaious is Chantal’s
“voice growl” and demeanor. It must take a lot of effort to appear so unenthusiastic and to end all of your sentences in a growl. It’s like she is trying to say, “I can’t even stand up straight, in fact can barely talk – and certainly don’t eat – because I’m just so bored with these peons around me … zzzzzzzzzzzzz”
Are these the NYC Housewives in training? The certainly get drunk enough to qualify.
@ 11 Terrence— Kerri could be subletting a sub-let of another sub-letter — a friend did that-he was the 5th in the line–lol. A great 5th floor walk up un Hells Kitchen-$350/ month- 1bed/1bath with galley kitchen. And you are making me miss DC Housewives– liked them except Cat.
I am still out on this group– Chantal I cannot stand–dont quite get Lara–and feel sorry for Claudia teaming up with those two. The pix Angela took of her were lovely. Angela is more tolerable in her TH’s. The date she had with the geeky photographer really amkes me question her but then the show is totally scripted.
Liz is an entitled brat with Dady issues a mile long–Liz Dad cannot trust you–dont know who you stole from but I am thinking Dad’s legal bills were $$$$$$.
I think the new drinking game is to drink whenever Eli says “China” or “Chinese”–problem is this episode I stopped counting after 20.
Amy is the fat-friend/ugly girl who tries too hard. She is harmless I think and am surprised she hasnt mention Dorian’s Red Hand’s claim to fame– Robert Chambers picked up Jennifer Levin at that bar and murdered her in Central Park.
Kerri–fess up girl–”hustle” has a few meanings– am a LI girl too from private school like you. Didnt go the hooker route.
Does Eli remind anyone else of Jon Lovitz?
Can’t stand Chantal’s affected voice. She’s just trying to sound so cool. I feel sorry for Claudia. I would have strangled her when she sidled in a couple of hours late after yoga and a latte and was well rested and ready to work. In the meantime Claudia had been there for hours cleaning up trash and scrubbing the floors! Then Chantal wants to talk about when she wants to work. I would have bitch slapped her! Work?! You’re part owner of the fucking gallery. You need to be here when we’re open not just when you feel like it! Dumb, lazy beyotch!
Yeah, I wondered why Maggie would be doing an internship for 3 years. And, Eli comes off as such a skeeze. There must be other galleries for her to intern at if she really still needed the experience.
Amy is just pathetic. She tries too hard. Drinks too much. Flirts too much. Flaunts her money to much. Talks too much, “I have nice clothes. So sue me!” Just pathetic.
Thought it was hysterical that her mentor (don’t remember that lady’s name) liked the work of art that Kerri selected better. HA! She thought she had it in the bag.
How can Kerri afford her apartment? How much could she possibly be making at her job? She was wearing a fur coat in the 1st episode. I’m starting to join you on the escort bandwagon.
Just found this site after I googled Gallery Girls. I don’t really watch TV, especially reality TV regularly, but I am hooked on this show. Don’t know why, but I find it fascinating in the train wreck kind of way like the rest of you. In any case, I LOVE your summaries. They are SPOT on. My take:
I HATED Amy and her weird play dough oatmeal face until last nights episode where I still hated her but also started to pity her. I don’t think her drinking is an issue, shes just having fun, but shes a sloppy drunk. never good
Liz is my favorite too, but I think shes WAY too judgemental of Amy being drunk when shes already been to rehab for cocaine. I mean, give me a break. People in glass houses beyotch!
Kerri, I can’t figure her out, although this is the first place Ive seen mention her being a call girl and after seeing her apt in the West Village last night, I’m inclined to agree. NO ONe makes enough money being a lifestyle consultant to afford that. No one.
I HATE HATE HATE HATE Angela. WTF is wrong with that dumb sloot? I cannot even believe some of the things that come out of her mouth. It defies logic that anyone could be that pretentious and self absorbed to not realize how ridiculous they sound. Its so embarassing for her. If she wasn’t cut off from her parents before, she will be after they watch her on this show. And her outfits that she thinks are fashionable…. ughhhhhhh. Last night she had on some getup that made her look like a brontosaurus or something.
The hipster crowd uniformly annoys me. All of them, I include Angela in that as well too really. And the men they date. Do they even possess an ounce of testosterone in them? I need to write an article about how masculinity is dead, bc from this show, it seems like it has all but disappeared down a hole lined with skinny jeans.
Liz – love. What’s not to?
Maggie – growing on me. I had this sick vision in my wad that she & Eli are like star-crossed fifty shades of grey lovahs (I know, it’s sick & I apologize for the mental image)
Angela – yawn. Trying too hard to be loved or hated.. So indifferent
Claud – rooting for/ pity
Amy – I’m not convinced she’s not a husky guy in drag
Chantal – mesmermized! I’m convinced she very well could be Mary Kate Olson doing performance art. THINK about it… You NEVER see them in the same place…!
Now it makes sense! I couldn’t figure out why Maggie’s upper lip would get stuck and disappear into her teeth. It’s her jacked up fake veneers. To be fair…I do feel sorry for her, she’s a bundle of anxieties. Chantal and Angela pullleeezzz! Quit trying so hard to be cool. The hipster thing is soooo played. Chantal, what is with that fake affected accent? Be proud to be from Georgia or where ever you’re from. Then, there’s Liz…I don’t know if I like or not. Kind of bitchy, but she owns it. Yet she isn’t perfect and she has daddy issues. I think for now Kerri is the one I can relate to. She’s hardworking and comfortable in her skin.
I’m oddly intrigued by this show, but it seems very scripted. After I graduated with a BA in Art History, I did two internships. One was totally professional. The other one wasn’t. The woman I worked for had me doing coolie work like what Maggie does for Eli. No one puts up with the kind of abuse. So I left. The gallery has since closed and it’s laughable. Anyway, internships don’t last for years. And whether you work for a week or a semester, you can just put it on your resume anyway. A lot of things on the show don’t add up. Kerri somehow “hauls ass” and coughs up $2500 a month? And has leather skirts and fur jackets? Rockville Center isn’t exactly “swanky”.
The End of Century website looks like an overpriced Etsy page.
Angela- Asian try-hard.