Game of Thrones: Reign of Fire

Recaps

By McWeanis | Monday, May 28, 2012 | 11:20 pm | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Game of Thrones, Recaps

yes, however will robb measure up?

Obviously, Sansa’s trying to increase the chances of his death. Who can blame her?

For the moment, it seems nobody besides Tyrion really knows what’s going on.

thank goodness we have this heroic trio to look after us.

The Lannister/Baratheon fleets aren’t in the harbor at King’s Landing, which Davos also finds suspicious; there is just one ship, which drifts slowly towards Stannis’ fleet. Davos at first takes the bait and orders his men to aim at the ship, but before he orders them to shoot he realizes there is noone on board – and that green liquid is leaking from the sides.

showing us the “oh” face. “ohhhh shit”

He realizes it’s wildfire too late, as Bronn shoots a flaming arrow that makes an epic arrow across the night sky before hitting the wildfire ship and sending Stannis’ ships into an explosion of Gremlin diarrhea.

legolas? scrappy legolas? homeless, scrappy legolas?

In others words, KABOOM! KABOOM to a whole bunch of ships, in addition to Davos and his son, who I assume are dead. There is a prolonged scene of men and ships consumed by yellow and green fire and explosions.

rough equivalents in producing my pleasure. yes thats a biebs.

Stannis’ men are scared shitless, but he plans to mount a ground assault anyway. I’m not sure how many ships he lost, or if it evened the odds against the Lannisters. Just in case you were wondering what being excited to blow people up looks like, here it is in the wildfire maester:

and here is not being excited to blow people up:

Cersei, Sansa, and the other ladyfolk are hiding out during the battle, protected only by Ser Ilyn Payne – the same tongueless man who beheaded Ned Stark.

always nice to have a familiar face… right?

Ilyn also has the task of beheading any traitors who try to steal shiny things in the confusion or defect. Cersei looks right at Sansa as she explains the importance of ruling by fear, and the danger of ‘traitors.’ Cersei forces wine on Sansa, and interrupts her praying: as Tywin once explained to her, the gods are not merciful. Yea, no daddy issues there.

Cersei then goes off into a feminist rant, which I would feel much more sympathetic with if it weren’t Cersei saying it.

and if she could tame that underbite.

She “should’ve been born a man;” when she and Jaime were little, they looked exactly the same, but as time went on he got to kill people and stuff and she had to do needlework. He got to use real weapons; she just has what’s between her legs. He was free, while she was sold like a cow by Tywin to Robert, and is now dominated by her son. Of all the women in this show unhappy with their gender, Cersei actually seems the most powerless, despite her crown. Arya is freed by her anonymity, Daenerys by her dragons, Brienne by her size and strength. Cersei has relied on her vag and womb, and now she’s stuck. Again, sympathy deflated by the fact that Cersei is also clearly trying to scare the crap out of Sansa, explaining all the rape and pillage that is to come if King’s Landing falls. Oh wait, she was lying! Cersei admits Ser Ilyn is actually there to kill all of the women if the Lannisters lose, so that Stannis can’t take them alive.

cut it out! it’s not her fault she’s a ginger!

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McWeanis
About

first thing's first: the origin of "mcweanis."

It is not because I have a giant weanis (look it up) although it is usually unusually bulbous and crusty.

it is in fact because as a child i was dubbed Weanie (it rhymes with my first name, because i'm awesomely named)  by my older sister Drunk, which my friends co-opted and which eventually evolved into weanis and finally mcweanis or MC weanis depending on how gangster i am at the time.

i am a huge nerd of all kinds, especially tv, books, and school. i'll be going to harvard law school in the fall cause i'm so SCHMANCY! i plan to put my excellent time management skills to work in balancing my courseload and my must-watch-tv-load.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    SexyPanda
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 9:28 am

    I read the book over the course of MONTHS last year and early this year, and I apparently skimmed a lot because I don’t recall a lot of what’s happening. That, and it’s all different! Anyway, you’re asking the same questions I was asking at the end.

    And of course the party I DID read closely and have been looking forward to all season, the House of the Undying, is in the finale. UGH!

    For the record, I would LOVE to watch Bronn and the Hound mudwrestle. Yums.

  2. 2
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 11:20 am

    I’m not one of you “book readers” so I’m not bothered by these details that are annoying you. I thoroughly enjoyed this episode and was totally involved in the fighting and glory of it all. If I’m not mistaken, Lord Tywin said he was sending the mass of his troops to confront Robb but he was going to King’s Landing.

    My feelings on the Lannisters is this, I only dislike the incestuous Queen and her brother. They are the two who are contemptible…and of course that inbred Joffrey, the little weasel. But I like Lord Tywin and , of course, Tyrion. Who should be sitting on the Iron Throne? Stannis was the best choice. Certainly not Dragon Mama!

    Oh well, one more episode and then we are done for another year…. and NO, I don’t have any interest in reading the books. I like things just the way they are.

  3. 3
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Not me, man! I STILL leave bags of flaming dog poo on Peter Jackson’s door step for having Orlando Blood “skateboard” down those stairs on top of an orc shield! Tolkien did NOT write that.

  4. 4
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    “Thank goodness we have this heroic trio to look after us.” HAHAHAHHAAA!!!

  5. 5
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    Alternative opening credits…..hilarious!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25KABvPbq-U&feature=share

  6. 6
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 10:59 pm

    @sarcasatire – Did you look at any of the suggested videos? There’s one where Tyrion slaps Joffrey for 10 minutes. There are several videos where Tyrion just slaps Joffrey on a loop.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYNeT2nzEgA

    And SexyPanda, I’m with you on Bronn. The Hound? Not so much. Maybe Bronn can mud wrestle Jaime.

  7. 7
    sweetblondie
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:31 am

    I’m thinking Bronn, the Hound AND Jaime. Too much manly penis? I think not!

  8. 8
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 11:32 am

    @Vallegirl: Yes, it was hilarious! Granted I only watched until about 2 mins in, but Tyrion slapping Joffrey never gets old. Hopefully Tyrion lives to slap another day!

    I posted this on last weeks recap, a photo gallery of the main cast out of costume, along with tidbits of info, like who did lot of hardcore porn in Europe, which one is Lily Allen’s brother, and which girl is 6’4″…(the last one is easy…Brienne the Beauty. Who actually is a beauty.)

    http://www.vulture.com/2012/05/game-of-thrones-cast-characters.html

    Bronn is cocky and immoral enough to make for an interesting character, but I am constantly tickled by the fact that his real name is Jerome.

  9. 9
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 11:33 am

    *amoral*

  10. 10
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    The 10 minute Joff slapping vid is hilarious!!!

    I don’t like any of the Lannisters except for the 2 kids. Tyrion is a bad ass, but I still believe is a bad apple. Not incest twins bad, but he’s still got those Lannister genes.

    I have a feeling we won’t see any of the characters from this episode, in the next episode.

  11. 11
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    @plockness, One thing I’ve realized is you can’t play the Game of Thrones without being a villain. Sure, we see the Starks as the most sympathetic characters but only because they’re too young to have spent decades killing people. Even Robb’s battles appear mostly off-screen. But maybe if the show started with the Targaryens on the throne, and we saw Robert Baratheon and Ned Starks wage war against their king, and Jaime Lannister kill him, then we might not be so sympathetic to the Starks. Sure, King Aerys may have been mad but by all reports, Rhaegar was not. Yet he was also slain, along with his wife and children. Not the work of heroes..

    I’m starting to realize that everyone is jockeying for position and/or trying to maintain their current one. How they go about is different..actually it’s not. They will all cut down whoever stands in their way. Whether with wildfire, a smoke baby, knights on horseback, or dragons…there isn’t anyone in this show willing to go away quietly.

  12. 12
    someguy
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    Great recap always a great read .Thanks for all your hard work on the recaps.Really adds a lot to the show to get different thoughts on the show and you always catch something I miss.
    Season 3 will be good. I hope HBO gives a treat for once and get them on air soon. Tywin was going to Kings landing to save the city after his brother told him that was the best thing to do.He left at night so Rob would not know and attack his home city Casterly rock

  13. 13
    Dtoast
    Posted June 6, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Rhaegar was slain along with his wife and kids but Ned Stark had shown his disgust for that move and also had stopped speaking to Robert for years for that very reason. Therefore still making Ned Stark an ‘honorable’ man

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