Game of Thrones: Reign of Fire

Recaps

By McWeanis | Monday, May 28, 2012 | 11:20 pm | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Game of Thrones, Recaps

yea you thought you’d get away without any bloodz! you were wrong!

Tyrion leaps into battle. He is hopelessly outmatched by all the normal sized people :( He is saved from a Stannis soldier by a member of the King’s Guard. Tyrion looks at him with relief for a moment – until the Kingsguard slashes Tyrion across his face with his sword, and steps forward for another blow. This time, it’s Podrick Payne who saves the shocked/in-shock Tyrion by shooting the Kingsguard in the face. Any bets as to what that was about? Orders from Joffrey? Size discrimination? General dislike?

he definitely either got stabbed in the face or went down on sansa. you decide.

Cersei is sitting on the Iron Throne with her youngest son, telling him stories about the lions and stags and bears and wolves in the woods, as she starts to open the bottle of nightshade.

We get a little montage of Cersei’s story and the nightshade bottle, alongside a seemingly hopeless battle, when a man on a white horse comes storming in with some new cavalry and starts owning Stannis’ men. Who is this mysterious fellow, wearing Renly’s stag helmet?

The doors to the throne room slam open, and the helmet comes off.. BOOM!

it’s the surviving gay!

It’s Ser Loras! It looks like he’s changed his loyalties, probably out of a belief that Stannis killed his boyfriend Renly. Stannis’ men run away, and it looks like they drag him off with them. From behind Loras, the real hero marches up: Lord Tywin. The Lannisters have won.

Wait, didn’t Tywin say in front of Arya the last episode that he was leaving to fight Robb? Was he purposely misleading her, meaning he knows her identity or at least loyalty? Or does he suspect a spy in his midst? Or is he always mega cautious? I don’t know! And I REALLY don’t know, because this is different from the books!

I love this show because of the moral ambivalence. Do I want the Lannisters to win? hell no, but I want Tyrion to live. Do I want Stannis to win? Hell no! He’s weird and grumpy and religious and he killed Renly! But Robb’s kind of boring! I don’t know; give me your thoughts, commenters!

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McWeanis
About

first thing's first: the origin of "mcweanis."

It is not because I have a giant weanis (look it up) although it is usually unusually bulbous and crusty.

it is in fact because as a child i was dubbed Weanie (it rhymes with my first name, because i'm awesomely named)  by my older sister Drunk, which my friends co-opted and which eventually evolved into weanis and finally mcweanis or MC weanis depending on how gangster i am at the time.

i am a huge nerd of all kinds, especially tv, books, and school. i'll be going to harvard law school in the fall cause i'm so SCHMANCY! i plan to put my excellent time management skills to work in balancing my courseload and my must-watch-tv-load.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    SexyPanda
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 9:28 am

    I read the book over the course of MONTHS last year and early this year, and I apparently skimmed a lot because I don’t recall a lot of what’s happening. That, and it’s all different! Anyway, you’re asking the same questions I was asking at the end.

    And of course the party I DID read closely and have been looking forward to all season, the House of the Undying, is in the finale. UGH!

    For the record, I would LOVE to watch Bronn and the Hound mudwrestle. Yums.

  2. 2
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 11:20 am

    I’m not one of you “book readers” so I’m not bothered by these details that are annoying you. I thoroughly enjoyed this episode and was totally involved in the fighting and glory of it all. If I’m not mistaken, Lord Tywin said he was sending the mass of his troops to confront Robb but he was going to King’s Landing.

    My feelings on the Lannisters is this, I only dislike the incestuous Queen and her brother. They are the two who are contemptible…and of course that inbred Joffrey, the little weasel. But I like Lord Tywin and , of course, Tyrion. Who should be sitting on the Iron Throne? Stannis was the best choice. Certainly not Dragon Mama!

    Oh well, one more episode and then we are done for another year…. and NO, I don’t have any interest in reading the books. I like things just the way they are.

  3. 3
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Not me, man! I STILL leave bags of flaming dog poo on Peter Jackson’s door step for having Orlando Blood “skateboard” down those stairs on top of an orc shield! Tolkien did NOT write that.

  4. 4
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    “Thank goodness we have this heroic trio to look after us.” HAHAHAHHAAA!!!

  5. 5
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    Alternative opening credits…..hilarious!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25KABvPbq-U&feature=share

  6. 6
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 10:59 pm

    @sarcasatire – Did you look at any of the suggested videos? There’s one where Tyrion slaps Joffrey for 10 minutes. There are several videos where Tyrion just slaps Joffrey on a loop.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYNeT2nzEgA

    And SexyPanda, I’m with you on Bronn. The Hound? Not so much. Maybe Bronn can mud wrestle Jaime.

  7. 7
    sweetblondie
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:31 am

    I’m thinking Bronn, the Hound AND Jaime. Too much manly penis? I think not!

  8. 8
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 11:32 am

    @Vallegirl: Yes, it was hilarious! Granted I only watched until about 2 mins in, but Tyrion slapping Joffrey never gets old. Hopefully Tyrion lives to slap another day!

    I posted this on last weeks recap, a photo gallery of the main cast out of costume, along with tidbits of info, like who did lot of hardcore porn in Europe, which one is Lily Allen’s brother, and which girl is 6’4″…(the last one is easy…Brienne the Beauty. Who actually is a beauty.)

    http://www.vulture.com/2012/05/game-of-thrones-cast-characters.html

    Bronn is cocky and immoral enough to make for an interesting character, but I am constantly tickled by the fact that his real name is Jerome.

  9. 9
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 11:33 am

    *amoral*

  10. 10
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    The 10 minute Joff slapping vid is hilarious!!!

    I don’t like any of the Lannisters except for the 2 kids. Tyrion is a bad ass, but I still believe is a bad apple. Not incest twins bad, but he’s still got those Lannister genes.

    I have a feeling we won’t see any of the characters from this episode, in the next episode.

  11. 11
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    @plockness, One thing I’ve realized is you can’t play the Game of Thrones without being a villain. Sure, we see the Starks as the most sympathetic characters but only because they’re too young to have spent decades killing people. Even Robb’s battles appear mostly off-screen. But maybe if the show started with the Targaryens on the throne, and we saw Robert Baratheon and Ned Starks wage war against their king, and Jaime Lannister kill him, then we might not be so sympathetic to the Starks. Sure, King Aerys may have been mad but by all reports, Rhaegar was not. Yet he was also slain, along with his wife and children. Not the work of heroes..

    I’m starting to realize that everyone is jockeying for position and/or trying to maintain their current one. How they go about is different..actually it’s not. They will all cut down whoever stands in their way. Whether with wildfire, a smoke baby, knights on horseback, or dragons…there isn’t anyone in this show willing to go away quietly.

  12. 12
    someguy
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    Great recap always a great read .Thanks for all your hard work on the recaps.Really adds a lot to the show to get different thoughts on the show and you always catch something I miss.
    Season 3 will be good. I hope HBO gives a treat for once and get them on air soon. Tywin was going to Kings landing to save the city after his brother told him that was the best thing to do.He left at night so Rob would not know and attack his home city Casterly rock

  13. 13
    Dtoast
    Posted June 6, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Rhaegar was slain along with his wife and kids but Ned Stark had shown his disgust for that move and also had stopped speaking to Robert for years for that very reason. Therefore still making Ned Stark an ‘honorable’ man

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