Girls Recap: Its A Shame About Ray

“I once killed a man in Bed-Stuy, just to watch him die”

Charlie tells everyone that Audrey is opening her own mustard business- and Hannah points out to Marnie that they have nothing going on- condiments or otherwise, in their lives. Audrey snidely asks Marnie what she is doing now, probably knowing full well that she is a hostess at a dinner club, who “shows people to their tables” when they arrive. Marnie compliments Audrey’s headbands. It’s the typical awkward dinner talk that accompanies any dinner party that is predestined to crash and burn.

I make this face in every scene so its nearly impossible to tell what I’m thinking

Shoshanna and Ray arrive late and Shoshanna makes up an overly elaborate story about why they’re late. Ray informs her that as adults, then can just cop to having sex. That reminds me, please wash your hands before offering to help Hannah in the kitchen. We know where they’ve been. And while you’re cleaning things, you might want to give a pass at that one kitchen chair that Hannah has rub her “crotchal area” all over.

Thomas John and Jessa are at home in their apartment, waiting for the arrival of his parents. Thomas John’s father calls him, obviously lost, and Thomas John points out he should probably just use his GPS. Remember when parents couldn’t use their VCR, then they couldn’t figure out the VCR Plus. Then it was cell phones, the DVR, the GPS. Parents can’t do anything right. It gives Thomas John the opportunity to fill Jessa in on what she should and should not bring up in front of his parents.

Jessa has another idea, though, as she pops out her left tit- “the good one”- and wants a quickie before they meet his parents. Thomas John insists they see the bad one, first, but we aren’t granted the same luxury, so we have no way of knowing if the left one is really the good one or not. No fair.

I hate this restaurant, but I hate your average son even more

At dinner, it is clear that Thomas John’s mother has disdain for Jessa and questions her motives. No daughter in law is truly ever good enough for a mother’s son, but this only intensifies what it becomes apparent to Thomas John’s parents that Jessa has no apparent job prospects or future plans. She is an artist, she went to Oberlin College for seven months, but dropped out because she had to go to rehab. Thomas John’s father is surprisingly glad she is back on the drink, but she points out that rehab wasn’t for anything mundane like alcohol, which she has been enjoying since she was a children. It was one of those pesky heroin addictions.

Heroin was so ’90′s.  Grow up and get a prescription drug addiction like the rest of us