Hannah points out that both Charlie and Marnie are jerks, and he should lay off her because she has had a rough year. She moved out of their apartment, she lost her job, her dad lost his job, and she slept with a gay guy. Somewhere in Hannah’s soul, she is still rooting for Marnie and they’re still obviously friends despite the betrayal. Hannah just knows that Charlie and Marnie are jerks, though, which isn’t unlike Hannah’s jerky behavior regarding Charlie and her diary last year, but no one calls her out on this turn of events.
Proving its worthy of its Golden Globe win for Best Comedy with a bundt cake pun
Jessa and Thomas John return to their apartment after their disastrous dinner with his parents and the impending implosion of their relationship occurs. Thomas John points out that he is a miracle, while she is just some dumb hipster who has no trouble spending his money and living securely on the life he provides her. She points out that he is the kind of guy who no one liked in high school, and no one likes now. She is embarrassed walking down the street with him because he is so painfully average.
Thomas John realizes that he has made the biggest mistake of this life, and wants to know what he has to do now to get out of it. Jessa points out that he made this one crazy mistake but she has been living this way for 25 years, and she will look 50 by the time she is 30. Save this sweet talk for divorce court, Jessa. By the way, when you hire a lawyer, most of them will not accept the “good tit” as a retainer, so you may want to get some real income.
Thomas John calls her a whore who ruins lives because she is bored of her own life, and Jessa punches him in the mouth. One final shot before she returns to her home on Whore Island, I guess. Thomas John offers to give her money to leave and Jessa asks for $30,000. Thomas John says he will give her $10,000 but she counters with $11,500- because she did some stuff that she didn’t want to do, and we all know what that means…butt stuff. Well, by “we all” I mean everyone in this world except for Shoshanna.
Jessa also breaks Thomas John’s corporate award for Humanitarianism as she is ascending their stairs to go pack her stuff and get out. I hope you know that’s coming out of your $11,500.
After leaving the dinner party, Ray and Shoshanna are seated at a bench waiting for the subway. Shoshanna points out that he is a 33 year old with no place of his own and no interests outside of them. Ouch. Ray admits that he feels like a loser, and has no worth to anyone, including his 21 year old girlfriend. Shoshanna lets him know that he does have worth, because she is falling in love with him. Ray recoils a little because its too soon to say such a thing. Yes, because he has so much more going on in life, like living in his Mitsubishi. Proclamations of love scare him. He will have to give up his lifestyle of living in an Eclipse or whatever it is that he drives/habitats within.