Down the tubes went Ali P and Holly last week. The housemates gather up to see who comes back up those tubes. Jeffrey sees Ali P as dumb, transparent strategy and Holly as a liar and says he doesn’t need either of them. Neither do we, Jeffy. Neither do we.
Kevin and Mike are chatting it up with a couple of beers and Kevin says he really hopes Holly comes back. He tells Mike that pretty soon that lovely family attitude will all change and everyone will turn on each other. They probably will, but you don’t have to be so smug about it. Kevin inches over the love/hate line for me. I’m really hoping the rest of the housemates that I really like are smarter than the strategies we’ve seen so far, meaning having strategies that aren’t so damn transparent.
Kevin, Mike, and Robin come together to form an alliance. Kevin calls it the “alpha trifecta”. Oh boy. Too bad it’s 8am, because I could really use one of those beers in place of my coffee right now.
Out on the pretend patio, the housemates slowly gather one by one to play a game of answering personal questions. The first and only we get to see is “Best relationship and why it ended?” Andrea says she dated someone for almost four years before it ended. Stephanie grabs Erica for support to answer this question and starts crying. She says that she had a really great relationship, they were together for three years and got married, they moved to Europe together, and worked in Germany. One morning, he woke up sick; they went to the hospital where he passed away. I really, really hope this is true, because if she’s lying, I’ll track her down and rip her heart out. I went through a very similar experience. It ripped me apart, sent me into a very dark place for a long time, and still affects me to this day. So, if she’s faking this story, I won’t find it clever. Not at all. If she’s not, well then I have a ton of sympathy for her and I wish her all the best in life, no matter what.
So, they had been talking about having a family, so it was especially hard for her. My heart really, really goes out to her. As painful as it was to have lost mine after 4 years and talks of marriage and kids, I can only imagine what it would be like already being married. It’s an inexplicable pain and I wish it on no one. So, hugs to Stephanie…please don’t be lying. We can see it on everyone’s face: “oh shit…she just scored a ton of points with the viewers”.
Robin pipes up to say that Stephanie sharing that story makes her want to get up and go home. I’m not quite sure why. Does she want to let Stephanie win? Did it piss her off? She says she was once almost murdered. Some had a knife against her neck. Erica facepalms and tells her to please don’t turn this into dueling banjos of pain. Then Ramona Singer comes stumbling in, Pinot in hand, to share her story of Avery’s birth. Oh, Stephanie. You just got served!
I’ll see your dead husband and raise you a mugging.
Back in the bathroom, Robin confronts Erica over shutting her down in front of everyone. Robin says she was only trying to tell Stephanie how strong she is. Erica wanted that to be Stephanie’s moment and didn’t want Robin turning it into the “Robin Show”. When Robin asks why everyone else does the same thing, she says “why” literally 7 times in a very dramatic way. It reminds me of this time I was waitressing at a neighborhood bar where this random dude would come into the bar every once in a while to play his keyboard and sing. No one ever asked him or hired him, he just decided to take this task upon himself. He was awful. He didn’t know all of the lyrics to a single song he sang, so he would repeat the parts he knew. When he would sing “Ain’t No Sunshine”, he would sing the “I know, I know, I know” part about 67 times. In a row. Robin sounded just like that crazy keyboard dude.