Another exciting vote!! Sushi platter over cold cuts!! Holla!
They play kiss and blow. Alex is entertained by Mike having to be next to Jeffrey in the Kiss and Blow lineup. I guess Highland Park doesn’t hang out with Oak Lawn much. He seems way too entertained by Jeffrey’s homosexuality.
Oh my gawd, it’s a gay dude and a straight guy! Cray-zeee!
Alex manipulates Jacob into being the team captain. Alex’s smile makes me want to get a license, buy a gun, and shoot him. Alex’s name should have been Chet or Chazz. He’s THAT guy from all of the 80s high school movies. He’s the guy skiing down the K12, schmoozing around in a smoking jacket and ascot, throwing a wild part in his parents’ mansion, and chatting up Buffy through his gritted teeth. He’s like Tailor Made without any likability…or brains.
Jeffrey volunteers to captain team East. Then, Ali P comes in to let them all know that he will not form any alliances and will keep it real. There’s a shitton of real keeping going on in this house. He wants everyone to draw a card from a deck and when it comes time to vote for someone to go to Limbo, the person whose card is drawn will be the one to go. Seems fair, but he’s the only person who is going to stick to that one.
Gene wants Ali P to step up and play the game instead of working on relationships and Mike thinks he’s an idiot.
Now for the first challenge which is to have four people on lifts controlled by the others, who will direct them. There’s a huge board with rotating blocks that will connect the name of the opposing teammates with a random fact about themselves. Although Jacob is the captain, Alex takes the lead. I never saw that coming, did you?? Jacob tells us this is OK, because he’s “street smart, not common sense smart”. Umm, actually, street smart IS common sense. They’re the same!! Argh! Sorry, but I hate stupid people.
Alex so far has everything wrong, but he says it all with the utmost confidence because he is from Highland Park. Again, stupid rich boy had life handed to him on a silver platter, so he thinks he controls the world. In reality, he’s just a short little shark-toothed dickhead.
It’s funny, because they seem to be very unable to figure out the easiest way to solve this challenge. There are only two choices for each block and they all go together like a puzzle. It’s not that hard. There are too many chiefs and not enough Indians and it’s pretty clear they’ll be the losing team.
Next up is team East. Stephanie reveals that she’s in MENSA, so she should be able to solve this quickly. I love that she couldn’t wait to throw that one in there. It’s a puzzle, not rocket science – my 4 year old could solve that in 2 minutes. I’m sure Stephanie is smart, but no one likes people who are always reminding you of how smart or beautiful they are (ahem, Holly).
Just so you know, I’m in MENSA. That means I’m smarter than you.
So MENSA takes over the leadership role and Jazz Hands seems happy to have someone else take the reins. She starts talking about calculations and permutations. Again…it’s a frickin’ puzzle, dude. You’re wasting time trying to be clever and smart when all you have to do is have them turn the blocks.
The times are revealed with team West at 7:04 and team East at 3:54. Well, there’s a surprise. Jazz Hands continues to be a stereotype and cries. With Jacob being the team West captain, he’s going to Limbo. He thinks they’ll send Alex, too. Gee, I wonder why he feels that way? Mike thinks Alex is trying too hard to play the game. Speaking of trying too hard, Joy is really over-the-top about her sexuality. Everything is sex. Brushing teeth – sex. Eating a sandwich – sex. Dropping a load – sex. She calls it a “European attitude” about sex, but really it’s just an attention whore attitude. She reminds us that she posed for Playboy. Really?! You did?! I didn’t know that!
It will be a season of Joy and phallic symbols.