Glass House Recap: Jumping Ship

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Tuesday, July 17, 2012 | 2:38 pm | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Glass House, Recaps

Hello, Gasmii.  It’s another episode of the show that no one watches.  Now that Big Brother has started, I’m thinking I could fill this recap with a dissertation on the mating habits of the legendary basilisks and no one would notice.

Last week, Team Friends sent Kevin down the tubes with Ashley.  I’m sure no one cares if Ashley doesn’t come back.  She’s a snoozefest if I ever saw one.

Stephanie explains to us that they voted for Kevin, because they didn’t want Mike to have immunity next week.  Mike is upset that Gene voted against Kevin and decides that they’ll be gunning for him next.  Andrea thinks it stinks that Gene doesn’t want blood on his hands, then immediately goes over to Joy to figure out how to “sneakily” switch alliances. 

Holly and Mike think Stephanie is irritating, but they can handle having her on their team.  They discuss the fact that the other team thinks they have Gene free and clear.  I don’t think they believe that, do you?  I mean, doesn’t everyone know that Gene isn’t taking sides?

Even this big-breasted blind woman can see that.

The next silly thing viewers voted on was to have Gene and Jeff switch clothes.  Of course, Gene has on a wig, bracelet, pink socks, pink sunglasses, and a Hawaiian shirt and Jeff is wearing the dead friend hat. 

Andrea and Stephanie are working out and Andrea takes this opportunity to try to butter up Stephanie.  Stephanie is no fool, so she sees this for what it is.  Andrea is throwing Gene under every damn bus she sees.  Gene would serve as a big ass speed bump.

Their team comes together to discuss the deal with Andrea.  Erica brings up the fact that Gene isn’t taking a clear side, so it’s creating anxiety for them.  Gene is pissed that they had this conversation about him.  It’s supposed to be more dramatic than it actually is and the editors try to enliven the scene with dramatic music. 

Back inside the house, the others bring up the fact that Andrea told them that Holly said that they’re all jealous of her and, if so, should go to the gym.  She denies about twenty times and then when they say, “It’s OK, it’s just exactly what Andrea told us”, she says, “Oh, well I did say that, but…”  It’s really annoying that she can’t stick to her guns.  Either lie all the way or don’t lie at all.  She’s such an idiot.  She cries to Andrea that she doesn’t have any friends in life, because they’re all jealous of her.  While I know that women don’t like to be friends with pretty girls a lot of the time, it’s not ALL women.  And with you, I don’t think it’s the looks.  I think it’s the fact that you think it’s your looks and not your personality.  The suck of your personality outweighs your beauty.

So, Joy and Holly have been going at it.  Neither wants to admit that they both use their looks to get by in life.  It’s just a bunch of blah blah blah.  Mike keeps inserting himself in this, probably out of his hate for Joy more than his defense of Holly.  I still haven’t a clue what happened between Mike and Joy, because the editing is so terrible and disjointed.  While I don’t like Mike, I really don’t like Joy either.  I think Joy doesn’t have skills other than using her femininity.  That’s a great skill to have, don’t get me wrong, and it can get you far when it comes to men.  However, you have to have a personality and brains, as well, or else it just makes you a tramp.  That’s exactly what Holly and Joy are – tramps.  And they’re both bitter about it, but just in different ways.

Well, Jesus thinks I’m hot, sooo…

Andrea’s annoyed that everyone is drunk and it makes them all act like asshats.  I have to agree with Andrea on this one, as much as I hate to say it.  It’s never any fun to be the sober one in a house full of drunks.  Erica is definitely the most drunk person there and she’s stirring up trouble hardcore.  What makes her so awesome is that she’s able to be plastered and manage to create a shitstorm in which she is not at all involved.  This is why I like her.  She’s the smart villain, unlike Prime Time Douche.

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    I want the witch that everyone hates to come back. You have no idea which one I’m referring to, do you?

    I want Holly to come back. The hater (Andrea) needs to go back to Utah. Someone needs to kick her scrawny, Mormon butt out the door; the sooner the better.

    Uh, Mike doesn’t like women. I loathe him but I still like seeing him shirtless. He’s very handsome for a man of 48.

    Kevin disgusts me. [I wish they would make him wear a speedo or some latex biking shorts as some sort of penalty.]
    Jeffrey is the most perfect contestant – ever — in the history of reality TV.

    People are still watching. I watched it streaming during my lunch hour – live—lots of peeps were commenting on what was happening. Thanks for the recap.

  2. 2
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    @Sugarbush “The suck of your personality outweighs your beauty” went right into my Awkward Social Situation Solutions file!

    I’m still getting caught up on my back tv watching. And reading recaps. But I just wanted say thanks for that inspirational quote! And Glass House of Stereotypes is right! So we knew from the get go we’d get some bigot drama.

    Like on Bad Girls Club. Where sometimes they’ll put a regular diversity cast. And then add on 1 or 2 white girls that make you think the producers must’ve lied to them to get them to sign up.

    My guess is ABC’s nose is out of joint. Because they feel like The Bachelor’s 1 of the OG reality shows. But now it’s other networks getting famous for having the trashiest 1s. While their producers are getting into fake Twitter wars with fake bloggers they hired on the DL in the 1st place. Then they do this show. To let the whole world know their idea of a reward is Tenley and Kiptin.

    It reminds me of having an older auntie that tries to keep up to date. But instead just keeps missing the point. Say she sees people wearing tight jeans. And a lot of Hello Kitty stuff. So she’ll make tight jeans for all the teenagers in the family. With seams and rivets and everything. Except they’re made out of nightgown flannel with generic pink kittens on it.

  3. 3
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    There was a great series on BBC about a bunch of contestants inside a BB-type show during a zombie apocalypse. They were in there when the outbreak started. These people are sort of similar. Except we’ve all turned into Big Brother viewers instead. Same deal: my brain is rotted and my leg is falling off.

  4. 4
    considerthis
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 6:57 am

    Is Stephanie a 2 pack a day – coffee addict. Her teeth are SO yellow!

  5. 5
    joye
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    kthxbai, you need to sign up to recap something. LOVE your writing.

  6. 6
    CrazyTrain CrazyTrain
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    I’m watching! Please don’t stop – I always forget this is on and miss like the first 30 mins so I need your recaps! Of course, I still get everyone confused anyway. I thought the one guy who looked like the other guy was gone but he’s not :(

  7. 7
    mjhhawk
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 11:18 am

    I haven’t watched a second and feel like I haven;t missed a second thanks to your recaps. Did they give an explanation as to why Alex is back?

  8. 8
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    @mjhhawk: Alex was just delivering the “fanswers” or whatever the fuck they call them (actually it’s one of the few good ideas the show has lol).

    I’m actually enjoying this show more than I thought I would, especially after last week. I really like Joy, Erica, Ge…that whole damn side of the house. I still think it’ll be interesting when they have to turn on each other (and I’m a sucker for the Joy/Gene thing – I can’t help it!).

    Thanks again for the recaps!

  9. 9
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 5:55 am

    I’m going to throw this out there… this show is better than Big Brother after all. Maybe it’s the fact that none of these players are “returning” players, or maybe it’s actually because there’s only one episode per week, so it really does seem as if things happen… as opposed to the bullshit storylines Big Brother is required to string together in order to pad three episodes per week.

    More than that, they actually seemed to have made an effort to recruit fairly intelligent, somewhat articulate and generally mature people — hell, even the playboy bunny “bimbo” on this show seems brighter than the smartest person on Big Brother (whoever that would be). And they’ve made it a point of getting rid of the idiots early on.

    I’m even coming around to the “Amurrica votes” idea — it shakes things up, keeps people from getting complacent, and provides a definite slap in the face of bullying types.

    Hmm…. I’m ought to copy and paste this into the Big Brother comments section, since I’m not sure how many people are still reading the Glass House comments….

  10. 10
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Based monday’s episode I now can see why Joy got so upset about Mike saying she was using Gene. She really does like him.

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