Glass House Recap: Jumping Ship

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Tuesday, July 17, 2012 | 2:38 pm | 10 Comments
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Posted in: Glass House, Recaps

Mike starts to yell “fuck you” at Joy over and over again while she yells for him to stop cussing at her.  Joy runs off to cry, as usual, and Andrea takes this opportunity to schmooze her way into the other alliance.  She tells Erica that she wants to be the rescuer and take care of everyone.  Erica tells her that she likes her, but she doesn’t trust her.  Erica tells her that if she’s playing the game with her, she might as well give it a rest because it’s not going to change her feelings about her.  That tans Andrea’s hide, because she got caught.  Of course, she’s not admitting this.  Why is everyone such a terrible liar on this show?  It’s like they’re so excited about their super-clever strategies that they can’t stand for anyone to not know about it.

I like to think he’s not cussing, but instead is making a lewd gesture with his mouth or has something penile in it.

The enemies room is again, Jeff and Andrea.  The friends room is Joy and Gene.  Gene tells Joy that he will cuddle with her until it’s time to go to sleep, but he won’t fall asleep there in the same bed.  We’ll see how long that lasts.  I think this is very smart on Gene’s part.  No one realizes that he’s had the upper hand in this Joy/Gene thing the whole time.  Mike’s an idiot for being defensive of Gene with Joy when Gene’s doing the same thing.  No one has a genuine connection in this house, anyway.

Andrea’s ass is still really super-chapped over Erica not trusting her and playing the game.  Andrea – people like Erica prey on the weak.  You are her prey.  If you don’t like it, stop falling for her tactics. 

Back in the friends room, it sounds like an episode of Rock of Love what with all the smacking and slobbering sounds going on.  If I see a tongue, I’m going to hurl.  Suddenly, Joy stops it and grabs their “wiener wall” and puts it between them.  They keep purposefully getting caught by the cameras making out.  Gene’s really working the sweet guy angle.  “I’m imaging how beautiful you’ll still be in 50 years”.  Oh boy.  That’s the kind of bullhonkey that’s never worked on me.  It makes me burst into laughter and roll my eyes.  What kind of girls fall for such things?  I like a guy who’s honest.  I know you’re interested in my boobs, so don’t try to pretend you’re not.

We’re going to now see who comes back into the house.  I can’t imagine that Ashley will remain.  And she doesn’t.  She descends down the tubes telling everyone to remember that God is good.  Too late, girl.  Too damn late.  Don’t start using God to make you look better.  It just makes you look like an desperate asshole.

Kevin and his team get together to talk about how they always take the high road.  Darling, no one in this house will ever take the high road.  It’s a reality game show.  There are no high roads here.  

All the roads lead to Hell.

Jeff takes Kevin and Mike aside to tell them that he sent Kevin down the tubes, because he wanted to see Ashley’s ass gone.  He tries to work something out with Mike and Kevin.  They decide to keep the lines of communication open.  Jeff shares with Erica and Stephanie that he just tried to do a little sneaky job on Mike and Kevin.  Stephanie calls him out on trying to repeat the silly espionage Andrea’s already tried.  He thinks it’s just fun, either way.  I agree.  I like the idea of effing with everyone’s head.  I wish these people would do it more.  I want to see everyone in fist fights soon.

We’re going to see who the team captains are this week.  Mike and Holly?  Mike and Joy?  Joy and Holly?  Let’ see.  It’s Holly and Mike.  Man, they really had Erica sweating over that with her in in the bottom three.  Mike blames it all on his Irish temper.  Maybe it’s that you’re not really sharp, pop your collars, and wear a feaux hawk to cover your bald spot.

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    I want the witch that everyone hates to come back. You have no idea which one I’m referring to, do you?

    I want Holly to come back. The hater (Andrea) needs to go back to Utah. Someone needs to kick her scrawny, Mormon butt out the door; the sooner the better.

    Uh, Mike doesn’t like women. I loathe him but I still like seeing him shirtless. He’s very handsome for a man of 48.

    Kevin disgusts me. [I wish they would make him wear a speedo or some latex biking shorts as some sort of penalty.]
    Jeffrey is the most perfect contestant – ever — in the history of reality TV.

    People are still watching. I watched it streaming during my lunch hour – live—lots of peeps were commenting on what was happening. Thanks for the recap.

  2. 2
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    @Sugarbush “The suck of your personality outweighs your beauty” went right into my Awkward Social Situation Solutions file!

    I’m still getting caught up on my back tv watching. And reading recaps. But I just wanted say thanks for that inspirational quote! And Glass House of Stereotypes is right! So we knew from the get go we’d get some bigot drama.

    Like on Bad Girls Club. Where sometimes they’ll put a regular diversity cast. And then add on 1 or 2 white girls that make you think the producers must’ve lied to them to get them to sign up.

    My guess is ABC’s nose is out of joint. Because they feel like The Bachelor’s 1 of the OG reality shows. But now it’s other networks getting famous for having the trashiest 1s. While their producers are getting into fake Twitter wars with fake bloggers they hired on the DL in the 1st place. Then they do this show. To let the whole world know their idea of a reward is Tenley and Kiptin.

    It reminds me of having an older auntie that tries to keep up to date. But instead just keeps missing the point. Say she sees people wearing tight jeans. And a lot of Hello Kitty stuff. So she’ll make tight jeans for all the teenagers in the family. With seams and rivets and everything. Except they’re made out of nightgown flannel with generic pink kittens on it.

  3. 3
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    There was a great series on BBC about a bunch of contestants inside a BB-type show during a zombie apocalypse. They were in there when the outbreak started. These people are sort of similar. Except we’ve all turned into Big Brother viewers instead. Same deal: my brain is rotted and my leg is falling off.

  4. 4
    considerthis
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 6:57 am

    Is Stephanie a 2 pack a day – coffee addict. Her teeth are SO yellow!

  5. 5
    joye
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    kthxbai, you need to sign up to recap something. LOVE your writing.

  6. 6
    CrazyTrain CrazyTrain
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    I’m watching! Please don’t stop – I always forget this is on and miss like the first 30 mins so I need your recaps! Of course, I still get everyone confused anyway. I thought the one guy who looked like the other guy was gone but he’s not :(

  7. 7
    mjhhawk
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 11:18 am

    I haven’t watched a second and feel like I haven;t missed a second thanks to your recaps. Did they give an explanation as to why Alex is back?

  8. 8
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    @mjhhawk: Alex was just delivering the “fanswers” or whatever the fuck they call them (actually it’s one of the few good ideas the show has lol).

    I’m actually enjoying this show more than I thought I would, especially after last week. I really like Joy, Erica, Ge…that whole damn side of the house. I still think it’ll be interesting when they have to turn on each other (and I’m a sucker for the Joy/Gene thing – I can’t help it!).

    Thanks again for the recaps!

  9. 9
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 5:55 am

    I’m going to throw this out there… this show is better than Big Brother after all. Maybe it’s the fact that none of these players are “returning” players, or maybe it’s actually because there’s only one episode per week, so it really does seem as if things happen… as opposed to the bullshit storylines Big Brother is required to string together in order to pad three episodes per week.

    More than that, they actually seemed to have made an effort to recruit fairly intelligent, somewhat articulate and generally mature people — hell, even the playboy bunny “bimbo” on this show seems brighter than the smartest person on Big Brother (whoever that would be). And they’ve made it a point of getting rid of the idiots early on.

    I’m even coming around to the “Amurrica votes” idea — it shakes things up, keeps people from getting complacent, and provides a definite slap in the face of bullying types.

    Hmm…. I’m ought to copy and paste this into the Big Brother comments section, since I’m not sure how many people are still reading the Glass House comments….

  10. 10
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Based monday’s episode I now can see why Joy got so upset about Mike saying she was using Gene. She really does like him.

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