Glass House Recap: Puppies are Icky!

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Wednesday, July 11, 2012 | 4:00 pm | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Glass House, Recaps

We’re going to see who rooms together and who is coming back into the house.  Jeff and Andrea in the enemies room and Mike and Kevin in the friends room.  Andrea refuses to sleep in the same bed as a man, even if the man’s penis wants nothing to do with her and her frigid vagina.  Maybe she’s afraid he’ll make her gay.  It’s that pesky homo virus.

The Kevin team is talking smack about the Erica team.  Kevin says they’re all scatterbrains while their team is level-headed.  I’d say “emotional” rather than “scatterbrain”, but whatever.  Andrea wants to see Joy go, because she’s all about showing her boobies and shaking her booty.  Oh, Andrea.  It’s OK to be treated like a second class citizen not worthy of work or an education, but it’s not OK to use your sex appeal to your advantage.  That makes complete sense.

Team Kevin thinks they still have Gene in their back pockets.  Aren’t you using a black man as a means?  Is that racism or race?  Maybe it’s anti-gay.

Robin and Tits McGee come up the tubes and everyone waits.  Of course, those of us here know that Robin goes.  Team Kevin sweats hard after seeing Robin go back down the tubes.  They’re not at all able to contain their resentment.  That’s hilarious. 

Mike and Kevin are upset that Joy is filling Erica in on everything she missed.  Why would that bother you?  Isn’t that what people do?  Erica, Joy, and Jeff are unpacking Erica’s stuff and talking smack.  Erica thinks it’s funny that the other team is taking on Ashley, who has been in the bottom of the popularity poll twice, and Holly, who came in lying about her degree in “Astrophysicology from Harpton University” (credit to Erica on that one – I wish I could claim it).

Team Kevin is sweating bad.  All they can do is cry about how Robin didn’t come back.  Who cares?  Did you really believe that the viewers would like Robin more?  There’s just not as much FUN drama with Robin as there is with Erica.  Robin’s drama is internal.  That’s no good for us viewers.

Suddenly, there is an assassination attempt on Stephanie.  

Hurry, while she’s distracted!

Fanswer time!  This time someone much more enjoyable is here to give the fanswers.  Puppies!  A bunch of Labradoodles.  And I’m not going to get into my distaste for engineering new dog breeds for popularity reasons.  The dogs each have a collar with a player’s name and their fanswer.  Holly is disgusted by the whole thing.  Dog drool and all that.  What a way to make yourself even more unlikeable.  Anyone who doesn’t like puppies is a sick fuck.  Everyone knows that. 

I did not fail to comb my hair just to be drooled on by puppies.

Andrea wanted to know if she should be loyal to her original alliance or if she should go out on her own.  The viewers answered “Kevin”, which means she should stay loyal.  Mike asked if he has more fan support than Stephanie and the answer is “no”.  No kidding, Mike.  That was a wasted opportunity to ask a helpful question.  Gene wants to know if he’s a hero that we like and respect or a villain that they despise.  We said “hero”.  Again, that’s not a surprise.  Stephanie wants the puppies to take the places of Holly and Mike.  I agree.

Next up, the bottom two.  Erica is not eligible for the bottom two vote, so that’s good.  Andrea is safe first.  Wow.  That Mormon vote is strong, I told y’all.  It’s Holly v Ashley.  No kidding.  They’re both boring as hell and lack personality.  Holly had better hope her team wins since she revealed today that she hates puppies.  I’m not going to be sad to see either of these two leave.  They’re kind of superfluous. 

Ashley is on her bed crying over a couple of pictures.  She’s from New Orleans, so she throws out the Katrina card.  You are really reaching, girl.  Stephanie’s dead husband totally trumps your Hurricane Katrina.  Gene’s radar goes off and he comes in to comfort her.  She cries to us about having to go through other people’s shoes!  Other people’s SHOES!  

First world problems.

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 12:20 am

    I had to look up labradoodles and snowballing. Two words for one day!

    I think the Mormons have finally discovered reality television. They’ve figured out they’ve been wasting time and money with the whole knocking on people’s doors and invading our privacy schtick, when all they need to do is overrun reality television with their robot minions.

    Pretty soon, the Scientologists are going to pile on as well. And then it’ll be a real battle royale.

    I am enjoying, however, how the people in the “god-fearing” alliance are all vicious, bitter people.

  2. 2
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 4:46 am

    I love how Kevin and Mike thought their strategy was so stellar. To see it blow up in their face was hilarious.

    And I thought the same thing Sugarbush…even if you don’t like puppies you pretend that you do because people who don’t like puppies are sick.

  3. 3
    NikkiHughes
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 8:08 am

    I am 99% sure those are Golden Retrievers….or possibly GoldenDoodles. Golden is my fave breed on the planet. :) Pretty sure no lab though.

    ANYHOO, I would DIE if I could get in the middle of that huge multi-puppy hug. SO FRIGGIN ADORABLE!!

    Regarding Mike and Joy….the way I heard the convo was that Mike just said that he didn’t believe that Joy really liked Gene and he thought she was playing him or using him or it was strategy, etc., and out of nowhere she screamed WHY? Can’t 5’2″ white girl like a 6’5″ black guy?!? That’s when Mike said, where did the race/racism come from. And then she completely lost her mind. :P

  4. 4
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 8:25 am

    I was done with Kevin after he voted to oust Erica. uh, Mike isn’t too bright either. Both of them disgust me. Having said that — I was wondering what Kevin looked like without his shirt on.

    Ashley’s Katrina tears and Gene’s dead tears seemed fake to me. I was laughing through both of their tearful reminiscences. Was that wrong of me? Maybe, I’m just too cynical.

    I liked the puppies. I don’t understand the dog hater.

  5. 5
    juddfan
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 11:22 am

    Mr. D, I swear we were separated at birth . . . I too was wondering what Kevin looks like without his shirt!!! HAHA! Can’t believe he’s only 33 tho! Looks older, and that helps.

    In the bedroom, I noticed the timing when Mike pulled off his clothes and jumped in bed . . . sitting atop the bedspread in his skivvies . . . just looked a bit odd and planned.

    Really just saw this one epi, I think the gay convo went way too extreme, for heavens sake . . . not everyone is going to agree on everything . . . I prefer a spirited debate over hysterical crying. Mike really needs to shut it. Kevin is a jerk, despite wanting to strip him, and everyone else-meh . . . but I may watch a few for the bit of eye candy, unless, dun dun dun, American shit can’s Kevin for being such a tool.

  6. 6
    carol
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    This show is so heavily edited it is amazing. Gene’s hard day was July 2nd. The Jeff crying thing had to do with the fan questions for the house, not the eviction. Then, the fact that the editors are clearly trying to get the ‘viewers’ to vote for Ashley by giving her that whole back story. Also, they clearly edited Kevin to be the villain. I know all reality shows are edited, but this show is crazy since a lot of it goes off of fans votes.

    @NikkiHughes – re Mike/Joy – you put it perfectly. Mike never brought up race or racism, that was all Joy. He was saying it was sketchy that Joy was all over Gene. Joy tossed in the race card. Then Joy got all pissy and Mike actually made a good point – that he said nothing about race, it was Joy who immediately went there. Mike’s point was still messed up, he doesn’t trust Joy. I have a feeling he thinks it is odd that Joy, a Playboy model, would go for Gene, a rather large guy and not him or Kevin. Mike seems to have a rather large ego for some strange reason.

    It was a little scary how out of breath Jeff was from that simple challenge. No one else was even tired and he was breathing like he had just run a 100 meter dash.

    Also, those puppies were just golden retrievers, not labradoodles. A litter or even group of labradoodles do not all look exactly the same.

  7. 7
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    “It’s that pesky homo virus.” Damn. I think I pulled something laughing. Nice.

    I came thisclose to just turning this shit off for good. The assholes in this house were almost too much to bear. Then I decided to peek at who was going into limbo (I hate myself for using their term – go Big Brother! Hey, maybe CBS will somehow prevail and this Glass House of Meh will get pulled of th air. Wishful thinking) and decided to watch the rest of the episode.

    As long as the dickheads, douchnozzles, asshats, and equality-hating bitches are soon to be gone I’m okay. Then it’ll be fun to watch MY team cannibalise itself, hee hee.

    Oh, and you guys talking about the editing are soooo right. WAY too much shit happens that we don’t get to see and they chop it up until it makes NO FUCKING SENSE. Dumb! Dumbdumbdumb!

    Oh, and @itchy, you are too cool for school, dude :-)

  8. 8
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted July 12, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    @amy, that’s why this silly format of one show a week doesn’t work. It’s just too much happening.

  9. 9
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 13, 2012 at 12:13 am

    What’d be fun would be if they stopped airing the show but didn’t tell the contestants.

  10. 10
    fancyface
    Posted July 16, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    Agree with previous posts on the Mike/Joy argument. Mike wasn’t the one that brought up the race issue, it was that shank Joy. And I don’t see that as being jealous…but just having common sense. Anyone watching can see that b.s for what it is. She’s totally playing Gene & she got so upset because she knew he was on to her fake ass.

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