Glass House Recap: Warning: Life-Scarring Images

I’m so sorry for the delay on this recap, my dear Gasmii.  I’m out of my meds (because I’m stupid and missed my appt) and going through withdrawal, so I feel like a giant bag of flaming shit.

We start out this episode with Stephanie pointing out that the house now has more wiener than vagina.  Thanks so very much for that visual.  There’s not a penis or vagina in that house I want to picture in my head.  Mike and Kevin want to know who voted for Kevin to go to Limbo and Jeff steers them to believe it was Gene, which is true.  I’m not sure what kind of game Jeffy is playing here.  Is he trying to get Mike and Kevin to think that he’s on their side, to get them to think that he’s a stool pigeon, or is he actually playing both teams?  Ahaha  I just made a pre-pun…

Next up, someone comes up with the brilliant plan to have a makeout contest between Erica and Joy.  Their tester is Jeffy.  It’s pretty uncomfortable to watch.  It reminded me of Rock of Love where every kiss had to involved gratuitous tongue and slurping.  Except, the two making out are of opposite sexualities.  It’s mind-bottling.  I’m very pissed that I had to watch this twice – once to do the minicap and once to get the screenshots.  Barf-a-rama.

Gross…

Grosser.

I made that same exact face.  Twice.

I’m just not a fan of slobber and tongue.  Tongue is fine if you’re one of the two making out.  I just don’t like to watch other peoples’ tongues.  And slobber is always bad.  They all think that Joy’s was over-the-top and acting.  This, of course, upsets Joy because they though it looked like stripper makeouts.  Dude, you posed for Playboy.  Is posing nude in an international magazine really so different?

The best part of this episode is that we choose for 24 hours they have to walk backwards.  They do another stupid game, but it’s really lame so who cares?  I did like seeing Stephanie suck the box wine out of the bag.  Desperation at it’s best.

Erica gets wasted, so she retires to Kevin’s bed and tries to force him to snuggle with her.  Mike is disgusted and Kevin nicely goes and asks Stephanie to go get her and take her back to her own bed.  I gotta hand it to Kevin, he played that card correctly.  He could have been douchier than that – he’s clearly paying attention to how he’s perceived by the viewers.  The best part of this, other than Erica making a fool of herself, is that Stephanie has to go get Erica while walking backwards.  I’ve decided that, from now on, the only way I will walk away after an argument is backwards.  It should smooth everything over immediately.  It’s very Monty Python.

Great idea!  A threesome!  He’ll think I’m really sexually liberated and want me more!