Glass House Recap: Warning: Life-Scarring Images

Jeffy tells us that he thinks it’s funny that Gene’s getting really cocky about his popularity with the viewers, which I find funny since the episode ends the way it does.

Even Erica thinks it’s hilarious that Joy got so pissed at this thing.  Everyone has a comment about Joy’s histrionics and Gene thinks they’ll keep them in a room together until one of them is out of the house. 

Meanwhile, Mike thinks this is an episode of Survivor.  Put a shirt on!

Mike wants us to separate them, because all this shit is outta control.  Sorry, Mike.  We like drama. 

The bottom three this week are Mike, Stephanie, and Kevin.  Stephanie lands in the very bottom of this shitty pit and Mike is lying right on top of her.  Gee, I wonder who’s team will win this challenge?  Mike seems to be excited about this opponent, but I think he’s just that dumb.

Stephanie realizes that she needs to up the drama if she wants to stay.  Remember, Stephanie.  No one has ever won a reality show by being a smarty pants.  You must be very evil, very dramatic, or very interesting and cool.  She cries that it’s her analytical side that makes people not want to get to know her.  That’s not true at all.  I could probably get at least one person to want to get to know me and I’m not evil or dramatic, and I’m certainly not interesting or cool. 

Stephanie’s team is Joy, Kevin, and Erica.  They are solving logic puzzles, so I’m sure Stephanie’s team will win.  The puzzles are really easy, so it’s pretty obvious to me that Stephanie is trying to show us her vulnerable side by pretending to struggle over the very last puzzle. 

Mike has Gene be the puzzle solver.  Let me just say that asking a large man to move swiftly is a mistake.  Unless he’s a pro football player, big dudes are slow.  My husband is the same size as Gene and if he was on fire, he would slowly walk to the shower, stretch, yawn, rub his eyes, then lean down to turn it on.  Then, he’s pop his back and scratch his balls before stepping in.  Their sense of urgency is frustrating because it’s seemingly non-existent.  My husband’s nickname is Sloth, if that tells you anything.  Mike gets to know what it’s like to be me every single day and he’s ready to have a stroke. 

Jeffy tell us that he’s just lying there slapping poles around…

Just another day of slappin’ poles!

Something else puzzles me (see what I did there?) about both teams.

Why the holy hell does everyone think this is a smiley face?  Who smiles like that?  Whoever does must be a miserable person to be around.

The teams’ times are revealed and, shock of the century, Stephanie’s team wins.  When Jeffy sees their time he says, “Gaw, it did not feel that long at all.”  Bwaahahahahaha  This guy in an endless source of gay innuendo.