Glee Project Recap: Everybody Cries

The Glee Project

By L-Money | Saturday, June 23, 2012 | 4:00 pm | 17 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, The Glee Project

Of course Zach has the best reaction shot

Mmmm a Carpet sandwich. This looks like a shot from a weird porno.

Video notes

- Charlie sounds like crap. His voice is actually kind of like Cory Monteith’s, whose voice isn’t great, either.
- Oh my god previously I though Abe was the worst lip syncher on this show, but now I’m thinking it’s Tyler. He wasn’t even close!
- I have to begrudgingly admit that Shannananna sounds good
- What’s with this Lily Mae stuff? Erik kept calling her that, too. Also, using the slut card might have been a bit more convincing on another person. You ALL know who I’m talking about.

Oh come on! That’s not what iPhone texts look like!

- The end is very “Seasons of Love”

Sooo, time for the bottom (and top) three. I’ll guess Charlie because they were all hating on him for the cane thing, Wheelchair Barbie because she wasn’t good in the vocal sesh, and I don’t know who else. Lily maybe?

They all loved Blake’s acting and call him first.

They want Nellis to commit a little more, and she says she gets embarrassed easily. Draaaama about Charlie and the cane. He apologizes to Blind Side. Wheelchair Barbie is too perky and her faces are too wild. Blind Side is pitchy. Oh there we go, he says he’s classically trained. That’s the kiss of death. He also says the word “zellious.” That’s not a word.

The bottom three are Charlie, Blind Side, and Lily.

Songs:
Lily- “Mercy,” by Duffy
Blind Side- “Over the Rainbow”
Charlie- “Fix You” by Coldplay

Nikki’s silver shirt is not maternity wear. I don’t think she wants to admit she’s preg.

During the short clip, we see Charlie and I think Blake in “superhero” costumes acting like buffoons. I have no words. Theater kids.

I would literally bet my life’s savings that that is Carpet’s bra

Last Chance Performances

Lily looks like a thirty’s movie star who went to town at KFC. Vocally she nails the song. Ryan says she’s not an underdog. That’s true, just because she’s fat doesn’t mean she’s a loser. She starts crying because she loves ballads and just wants to perform with her and her piano. She says everything is a mask to hide her 240 pounds, but that’s not easy to do.

Charlie- Of course Ryan loves Coldplay. No gay man doesn’t like them. Charlie butchers this song, IMO. He completely changes the phrasing and notes. I hate it. He claims he loves the song, but what he is singing can barely be called the same song. But of course Ryan was inspired by it. Ryan says he couldn’t love him more and it was maybe the favorite thing he’s ever seen on the show. I think that always being worried that someone has no clue what they’re doing and will miss their note isn’t good.

Now I realize what’s so weird about Blind Side’s singing voice. It sounds nothing like his speaking voice! He sounds like a sultry white guy on the verge of a breakdown when singing. The way he doesn’t move at all when singing is kind of awkward, too. He sounds pretty good, though. He cries, of course, but I’m so annoyed by his overly-proper way of speaking that I have no pity. Random thought- it must feel weird to cry as a blind person.

Ryan Murphy looks like a  little gay drummer boy.

They’ll probably cut Lily. She was already up there once. But honestly, they were all good-ish, and this show is so sappy that I have a sneaking suspicion this will be a fake-out everyone gets to stay week. Since Taryn left they have an extra week to kill anyway.

Blind Side tells everyone that he heard that other voices were off pitch as well so he didn’t understand why he was up there. He definitely thinks he’s amazing, it’s obvious. Magic Carpet is bothered by his comment, which is odd because he didn’t mention her name (or anyone’s). She also says that he always wants to make people listen to him but they can never talk. They all say the things he says come out wrong. It’s pretty damn boring drama, to be honest.

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L-Money
About

Leah Michaels aka L-Money was deprived of cable TV as a child, so of course now she is obsessed with all things television. Hailing from Long Island, NY, she is currently a media studies major at Brown University. Besides sitting in front of the TV for hours, hobbies include video games, playing music, snowboarding, and being a DJ on the local alternative rock radio station. If you ever want to gush about the genius of Joss Whedon, discuss what kind of crack the Project Runway judges are smoking, drool over the food on Iron Chef, or sing show tunes, L-Money's your girl. Although she's young,  she feels she'll fit right in, as she's been making fun of people since she was eight years old (she was a precocious 2nd grader). Also, she loves cats. Like, a lot. She'll probably be a crazy cat lady when she's older, and she's OK with that. 

17 Comments

  1. 1
    Meaghan
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    Looks like next week Charlie gets a little too distracted by Magic Carpet…oh boy.

    Also Naya Rivera is there and it’s Sexuality week so I’m sure it’ll be a shitstorm of awkward.

  2. 2
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 24, 2012 at 1:20 am

    I don’t believe there has ever been a worse rendition of Fix You than this one. It’s a great song, my favorite version is this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_n0zvoHlVk

    Blindside’s an asshat. His overly proper way of speaking is a cover-up for his poor grasp of English. I also enjoy the idea that both of this show’s “classically trained” singers have tin ears.

    Speaking of Lily… you can clearly see the bully in her. Watch the weird way her lips move — she’s just pure nastiness. Since most bullies are compensating for some deep-seated insecurity, it makes sense for her to have compensated in a different way (i.e., eating an entire McDonalds restaurant) as she got older.

    I still find Nellie strangely hot when she’s singing. She’s the only one of the bunch who actually seems to respond to the camera. That haircut of hers is doing her no favors though, makes her look like she wandered onto the show from a nearby psych ward.

    Does anyone here believe Abe is straight? There’s just no way in hell. No possible way.

    Oh yeah. I laughed like hell when Tyler revealed he’s a half-Jewish half-black transgender guy. Isn’t that the subject of Woody Allen’s next movie? Set in Bangkok, no doubt.

    Naya Rivera? I’m in! …. But she exemplifies why the Glee Project is a bullshit show — they’ve gone out of their way to stock the pond with homely girls, when the real show is the exact opposite. I think the Glee Project is really just an excuse for Ryan Murphy to find his next pool boy.

  3. 3
    ash310
    Posted June 24, 2012 at 6:02 am

    @Ichy — that is my all time favorite rendition of Fix You also. Brings me to tears every time I see it. Thanks for reminding me.

  4. 4
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted June 24, 2012 at 11:18 am

    I think the problem with Charlie grabbing Blind Side’s cane was that Blind Side was not expecting it. You could see a real look of terror and confusion on his face when it happened. In character or not, it was not cool. That being said, I am distressed that BS is starting to act like an ass – I was pulling for him (which is saying a lot during a season where they have given us virtually NO ONE to get behind and root for).

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 24, 2012 at 11:32 am

    I imagine if you got behind Lily you’d find plenty to root for… Hmm. Yes. Well, I know there’s a joke in there somewhere. Little help?

  6. 6
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted June 24, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    @S-Natch I agree with you. I was rooting for Blind Side too, until this episode.

    I guess I’m rooting for Nellis now and maybe The Generics , their the only people who don’t rub me the wrong way.

    Was it with all the unlikeable casts on reality shows this summer?

  7. 7
    onehundredyearsofcholera onehundredyearsofcholera
    Posted June 24, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    L-Money — thanks for the shoutout. Glad to hear I’ve atleast contributed to someone’s LOL-life. Greaaaat recap, btw!

    I agree, only Nellis and the Generics are the ones who has yet to rub me the wrong way. I *especially* hate the super misfits, Blindside and Wheelchair Barbie. Somehow they come across as thinking they are increeeeeedibly talented. Everytime Blindside speaks with his superproper formal-ish english, I ASDFLKJSAOWSFKASD so hard. Argh!

  8. 8
    Sam
    Posted June 24, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    funny how michael is the generic forgettable one, but he is probably the most likable. Maybe they don’t give him screen time because he is normal and that just doesn’t fly in the glee world.

  9. 9
    MrsTimRiggins
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 6:47 am

    I thought Lily’s whole “I used to be a bully until I saw the movie Mean Girls,” spiel was really fake. I buy she was/is a bully–but really, you watched Mean Girls and realized the error of your ways? BS. She just wanted a touching story to tell.

  10. 10
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 9:31 am

    My life, too, was forever changed by Lindsay Lohan.

  11. 11
    Kittkatt
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    I think they make a cream for that itchy.

  12. 12
    isthathissister
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 11:22 pm

    LOL @ “Dairy Queen Bee”

    And I totally agree with just about everyone that Blind Side was likable right up until this week, and even though I didn’t want to see him leave, I did think this week was some BULLSHIIIIIT. They can’t all be winners again, Ryan. I heard you say there will only be one winner this time. It’s only week 3. Send people home damnit!

    And is anyone else hating the frankensongs that they sing for their last chance performances? I know it was that way last year but it is just irking my nerves SO much more this time around. Do they sing the whole song and it just gets edited that way? Because Blind Side got a seriously butchered version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” I would expect three gay men (Robert is gay, yes? I’m not even going to pretend to ask about Zach and Ryan lol) to have a little more reverence for Judy Garland than that.

  13. 13
    whatwhat
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Number one most annoying thing about Glee Project: When the contestants get called to do a last-chance performance for Ryan. They’re given a song, and half the time they go “What is that? I’ve never heard that before?”

    Every single song they’ve done for last chance this season has been a song that was performed on Glee at some point or another. If these guys are such huge Glee fans, uhhhhh…why wouldn’t they recognize the songs they are given? Really?

  14. 14
    tv freak
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    @whatwhat, I watch just about every episode and often don’t remember every single song they’ve covered. That being said, some of them can be annoying. I think it’s inexcusable for any true Glee fan to not know one of the songs off Glee’s first CD, but that may be just me!

  15. 15
    DoYouReallyWannaKnow
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    Charlie is the love child of Finn and Blaine. He looks like Finn but has Blaine’s douchey personality. I predict he wins, Finn knocks Blaine up and gives birth to Charlie, finally leading to Kurt falling in love with Charlie because it’s Blaine and Finn rolled up into one. (plus it gives Ryan I MEAN KURT! another plot line).

  16. 16
    Raybelle13
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    @whatwhat– keep in mind that, for some of the songs, they haven’t seen a lot of the newest season eps, because the filming is overlapping the airing.
    As for “Dairy Queen Bee”– flippin hilarious! I swear, she was like “I watched Mean Girls and that was me!” and I was thinking “if they were all rolled into one body, maybe”
    I couldn’t tell you if the crying or the excuses were more ridiculous– god I’m bored.

  17. 17
    April
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    Lily is still the bully. Notice how uncompromising she was about the song lyrics when they were picking them. Nope she is a bully through and through. I know how to spot them. I wonder if she got fat later or was fat as a bully. I mean I guess you could be fat and popular, but not what usually happens.

    I did not sense any remorse in her either. It was like a humble brag almost to a point. Remember episode before this she says she was the one that threw all the parties kinda smug like. I loathe her. If she wins I will be SOOOO pissed.

    I am rooting for Nellie or the two cute guys. I kinda find Nellie very cute when she is not being weird acting.

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