Well it’s finally here. We find out which one (or two! or three!) of these misfits will win a multi-episode arc on Glee as a forgettable, non-essential character with an average of 1.5 speaking lines per episode.
Will it be:
Blake- the bland, generic pretty boy who is an “amazing actor” but has the singing ability of Hellen Keller’s tonedeaf cat?
Magic Carpet- The “sexily frumpy” Muslim girl who isn’t afraid to slut her way into the hearts of America in the name of breaking Muslim stereotypes? Did I mention she’s a Muslim? MUSLIM
Wheelchair Barbie- the perky, optimistic, sickly-sweet cripple with a big singing voice, a bigger heart, and even bigger boobs?
Let’s find out!
The contenders talk about how AH-MAZING it all is that they’re in the finale! Magic Carpet, hell yes. Blake and WB, not so much.
The final theme is Glee-ality and the final HW assignment is “You Can’t Stop the Beat’ from Hairspray.
Robert tells them they have some very special guest backup singers. It’s the previous contestants, of course! Cuz who wants to hear just the three of them sing? Not me. And also, what kind of reality show would this be if there wasn’t a time when the past kicked-out people reappear to wreak havoc?
Knowing what we know now about Dani Biebs and Wheelchair Barbie, I’ll be watching the two of them very carefully.
<3 <3 <3 !!!
Of course Charlie and Carpet reunite, blah blah vom. Luckily we aren’t forced to watch them slobber all over each other again.
The final guest star is Chris Colfer, who plays Kurt Hummel AKA Porcelain Lady Face on Glee. They claim he inspired The Glee Project. Bullshit. Ryan Murphy had the brainwave for this show as soon as Glee became a hit. Chris is pretty reserved for a guest mentor- he doesn’t give us the old “I’ve heard so much about you” line. It’s kind of refreshing compared to the others (cough cough fake-ass Lea Michele). He also asks who the top three is, so I guess they didn’t brief him in the limo.
Yeah, sorry, I was busy having an Emmy.
Carpet- meh. Sounds flat as usual. B-
Blake- breathy and bad. I could totally see him as Link in the musical, though. C+
WB- steals the show. Seriously she glows and is amazing, and is it just me or did she totally get a bigger part than the other two? I kind of cringed when she got another “spinning round and round line,” though. A+
Chris’s comments: he liked Blake’s dancing and intensity, WB was a real character, Carpet kept her volume up (um, ok?). I laughed because Lily got so pissed when Carpet told her she was too loud, and now Carpet is told that being loud is a compliment (kind of). I think WB should definitely win this won. And…Chris pulls a big Ryan Murphy and picks all three of them to win the mentoring session with him. I wonder if this is a foreshadowing of things to come…