Just as I was starting to loose faith in US television, TLC comes out with this gem called Gypsy Sisters. Or as I’m going to call it The Real Housewives of West Virginia.
AshSmash here, and I’m so excited to be recapping this for y’all. Let’s get started with introducing the girls.
First off we have Nettie. For now I’m going to say that Nettie is probably the most sane out of these 4, but I’m sure that will change in about 4.5 seconds. Nettie also has a big family with about eighty kids. But at least they’re all from the same husband. (Cough cough Teen Mom Leah) The other girls regard her as the mother hen. We’ll see about that.
Next is THE STAR OF THE SHOW, Mellie. Poor Mellie, she looks bad. And I don’t mean that in a mean way, I’m saying that as in she needs therapy. Mellie is Nettie’s sister. Confused yet? We need to think up nicknames for these two.
Kayla is another gypsy who is the cousin to Nettie and Mellie.
Finally, there’s Laura who is something kin to these girls. I don’t know, nor do I care.
They all live near each other in this big gypsy community. Let me just point out that I’m going to need these people to stop with the snooki poofs. No no no and no. They have such pretty long hair, just leave it down. But low and behold, as they meet up to go camper shopping, there’s the poofs, flying high.
Whilst shopping in their neon go go outfits, the subject of Mellie comes up. Oh Mellie. Nettie is not happy with her career choice of being an “exotic dancer.” Luckily, Nettie doesn’t beat around the bush and just straight up calls her a stripper. Haha. Ba da ba ba ba, I’m lovin it. The girls agree that something has to be done about Mel. That should go over well.
Later on, Nettie and Mellie are meeting up at Chateau de pedicure el frencho. That’s french for nail salon. I am such a world traveler. However, Mel-Go-Go will not let my classiness surpass hers and shows up sporting a lovely gold bandeau top with some heels and white shorts. OO LA LA. While they’re getting their toes done, my love for Nettie continues to grow like a frat boy loves slutty freshmen. Every time Go-Go Mel opens her mouth, Nettie shuts her down. Then the non-asian manicurists bring out some drinks and I am squirming with joy hoping that Go-Go gets super white girl wasted. But alas, I was disappointed. Yet, I did manage to capture some great pictures.
“I need to check Ancestry.com to make sure I’m really related to you”
“Whatever, just bring me a juice box…..of Franzia. HEY-OH”
“My sorority sisters would be totes jelly of your drinking skills.”