So now that the Blue team is all fired up from actually completing a dinner service on the heels of a challenge win, they’re all but intolerable. Gordon sent Don home and threw Roshni at their heads, and I don’t know if that was a fair trade. Don was a yokel, but he certainly hadn’t fucked up as much as a few people on that team. He also didn’t annoy me as much, which I’m sure is standard criteria for whether Gordon Ramsay sends someone home.
Brian is starting to grate on my nerves something fierce with his newfound serious demeanor. Meanwhile, Roshni is solid Blue team, not even condescending to play fetch with Dana or Danielle, or whichever one of those faceless bitches wants her to be the ashtray gofer. So was she just their maid before, scurrying around and bringing them stuff?
Roshni is in a better place, though, because the Red team has divided into cliques, and shit is getting catty already. Kimmie is clashing with everyone blonde, the blondes are forming their own bitch circle, Robyn is a loud pain in the ass, and everyone still seems to be gunning for Barbie. Tiffany is just yelling at everyone all the time, and I can’t figure out where her loyalties lie. I’m sure they lie wherever will most benefit her at any given moment.
Gordon announces that the challenge will be Mexican food. In my experience, Mexican food is very easy to cook, but very easy to screw up, too, if you don’t know what you’re doing. Brian is confident that this challenge will be won on the basis of his superior Mexican cooking skills. Scott brings in a giant donkey piñata, which Robyn immediately dubs “Chef Scott’s ass,” saying she’d love to take a whack at it. I see what you did there, Robyn, and it wasn’t as hilarious as you think. Also, stop talking.
Gordon and stick: The last thing the losing team will ever see.
The contestants will take five Mexican classics and turn them into fine dining food, which seems beyond this group. The ceiling is full of balls, which are labeled with ingredients. Everyone has to grab the balls and there are a lot of comments about getting your hands on as many balls as possible. Does anyone else remember when it was a big controversy when David Addison called Maddie Hayes a bitch on prime time TV? And now there’s a bunch of ball talk from this trash. Where’s my cane and denture cream? I feel so offended (not really). Anyway, everyone scrambles all over the place to grab the balls, and they split up to start their challenge.
Clemenza and Royce are especially adept at ball grabbing.
Unfortunately, the first thing we’re subjected to is some softcore food porn, as Brian seductively tells us how sexy his food is. He is all about simplicity and sex, which I hear goes really well with fajitas and a nice pico de gallo. That’s great, Brian, now please shut the fuck up with your verbal bukkake before I have to slap you.
This is just unnecessary.
Meanwhile, Danielle doesn’t know how to make a burrito. Okay. Please do step aside and let the big girls cook, because Jesus Christ. Gordon tells the teams to drop a dish, and the girls do that easily, but no one on the Blue team can agree. They finally give Patrick the final say, and he drops Brian’s sexy Mexican plate. Brian is livid, but I guess Patrick didn’t think it was a good idea to serve Gordon Ramsay a plate of food prepared by someone who’d been pleasuring himself during its preparation. Lesson learned.
Gordon has brought in a couple of judges, Thomas and John, to help him select the best dish. Royce and Kimmie bring up some tacos. Royce’s tortillas are greasy, and everyone hates them.
Just like Royce!
Kimmie’s shrimp tacos do well, and win the point. Brian is convinced Kimmie would not have won the point, had it been his tacos at the table. Wow, is he going to keep this up all hour?