Next up are burritos, served by Clemeza-Italian-burrito and Danielle-I-never-made-a- burrito. Clemenza wins it, no shock there. Clemenza informs us that he wanted to do the underwear floor slide from Risky Business, and I can only thank whatever member of production talked him out of that, because I do enjoy my eyesight.
Keep the pants on, we beg you.
Tiffany and Justin’s soups are both well-received, but Tiffany’s wins. Christina’s enchiladas don’t do as well, though, and Patrick wins that. Now they’re all tied up. The tostadas are the tiebreakers, and it’s Blue Roshni versus Dana. The chefs are split on those, though, and it’s so very suspenseful. Gordon is the tiebreaker, of course, and he goes with Red team, despite Patrick’s Jedi powers. Gordon sends them on an amazing day, inspired by Mexican culture. Which is a very broad brush, Gordon. Are we talking siestas and sangria, or beheadings and donkey shows? Because that could really bring in the ratings, if you have the stones to go there.
No, of course it’s gourmet lunch and a limo. The guys have to clean and prep the kitchen for whatever pretentious Mexican fiesta Gordon has planned. Brian is still steaming about his dish being cut from the contest, thereby robbing him of his chance to make up for fucking up every piece of fish in the kitchen the night before. Sorry, Brian, but I think it’s going to take a bit more than a couple of sorry tacos to equal hundreds of dollars in dead cod profits. He tells Roshni that this is how it feels to be a loser on a losing team. Thanks, Brian, but she already knew that.
The girls get gussied up and start drinking before the limo even leaves the parking lot. They scarf down all their gourmet food and swill more alcohol, then get a dancing lesson, while the Blue team tucks into some nasty tripe. Clemenza is fine with it, because he likes tripe. Okay, so he’s the equivalent of Kimmie and the platter of testicles. The bigguns on this season will eat any damn thing.
Prep time arrives, and Clemenza and Patrick start bitching at each other because Patrick didn’t answer Clemenza’s question fast enough. Patrick says that if a person needs his instruction to prep an ingredient, they shouldn’t be here. So what he’s saying is probably most of them should just leave.
The girls return all happy and rub it in, and Brian is just. So. Irritating at this point. Speaking of irritating, FUCKING ROYCE. He’s trash-talking Kimmie to her own team, and Tiffany is done with listening to bitching by now. But she’s not done playing double agent! As soon as the groups break up for bedtime, she reports straight to Kimmie and Robyn that Dana and Danielle and Christina trash-talked Kimmie’s tortillas. Except that it was Royce who said that, and Tiffany who was one drunk bitch when it was said, and I guess it was all the same to her. See, Royce even irritates people when they don’t even know it’s him. Someone kill him.
Robyn takes it upon herself to confront all of them, which brings the entire group into a little angsty circle. Kimmie accuses Dana of trashing the tortillas, Dana gets irate and starts denying it, and things deteriorate into Memphis ghetto talk pretty fast.
And then there’s a commercial break, featuring the Magic Mike trailer, and I suddenly don’t give a flying fuck about the taco argument.
The trailer ends way too soon, and we’re back to this taco bullshit. Tiffany should just own up to gossiping so they can straighten this out, but that would be the mature thing to do, so of course she doesn’t. They have to go into dinner service with Kimmie and Dana giving each other the silent treatment. Meanwhile, the men are refusing to curse in the kitchen because Roshni’s delicate sensibilities might be offended. That’s actually more offensive than if they just let fly some f-bombs, like she hasn’t heard and said worse than they can cough up. Don’t hold back on our account, fellows, we’re not as fragile as you’d like to think.
Unless it’s Gordon yelling the cusses. Then everyone falls to pieces.