Hell’s Kitchen Recap: Fight Night

Recaps

By PopePhilly | Thursday, June 28, 2012 | 7:49 pm | 13 Comments
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Posted in: Hell's Kitchen, Recaps

Sugar Ray Leonard and Tito Ortiz arrive. Robyn makes her way over to Sugar Ray and his wife. I’m actually pretty impressed. She starts off rather pleasant and personable. Maybe she does know when to turn on the good attitude. Justin is adorably nervous to be serving Tito. Christina is also nervous to have Sugar Ray and his wife watching her cook. Her nerves come through in her risotto because it is sent back for being under cooked. Brian also sends up terrible risotto. I would be very nervous about my meal if I saw all this happen. 


Tito Ortiz makes the face we’ve all been making this entire season. 

Christina gets her head back in the game and the red kitchen steadily puts out appetizers. Brian also perfects his second attempt at risotto. Brian celebrates just a bit too much with this “victory.”


Mere competence does not deserve a reaction like this. 

Brian decides it would be a good idea to go over and apologize to Tito and his guest. This is a good idea…for anyone except Brian. He decides to throw in a few punches and “pew, pew, pew” sounds as well. I’m embarrassed for Tito.


I’m going to kill my agent for putting me on this show.

The red team has moved onto entrees. Gordon asks how long for the Beef Wellington. Then he watches Tiffany touch a knife to her mouth and stick it back in the Wellington. The red team is officially the most disgusting group of people to ever exist. First, Robyn doesn’t understand why someone would want clean bath water. Now, Tiffany doesn’t realize that the diners don’t want to eat her saliva. To move my head closer to exploding, Robyn is the one who calls Tiffany disgusting. I don’t know if I can handle recapping this show anymore.

Why is Roshni making the Wellington again? She has never actually done that correctly, has she? She seems to be the one screwing that up every single dinner service. Patrick and his wonderful leadership skills should probably have decided to put her somewhere else! Guess what! Roshni’s Wellingtons are raw. I bet no one saw that coming.


Raw beef shall forever be known as “Roshnington.” 

Gordon asks if this is Roshni’s best. Although she says it’s not, this season has shown us that raw beef clearly is her best. Maybe she should start serving beef tartar. She’d be able to cook that wonderfully. On the other hand, with her history of under cooking beef, she may just serve a live cow and call it a day. 

Remember earlier when I said that Robyn seemed rather pleasant and personable to Sugar Ray and his wife? I take that back. She is telling them her entire life story. Apparently, before she was a chef, Robyn was working in cosmetology. One look at her appearance and you realize that she probably was kicked out of that field. She also wanted to be a nurse. As she drones on and on and on, Sugar Ray’s face says exactly what we’re all thinking:


Get this bitch away from me.

I’ve honestly stopped listening to what Robyn is saying. She tells the camera that they’re “conversating” back and forth. I hate that people think the word is “conversate.” You are not “conversating.” You are “conversing.” Either way, what Robyn and Sugar Ray were doing was not conversing. He was sitting quietly while the crazy lady talked. Robyn thinks they loved her. I’m pretty sure they were just afraid that she’d stab them if they interrupted her.

Back where people are cooking, Barbie is trying to help Tiffany with the service of her Wellingtons. Tiffany blows her off and brings the dishes up to Gordon. Apparently no one knows what cooked beef looks like because this is served raw as well. Gordon yells at Tiffany for the raw meat and for not communicating properly with Barbie about cooking the meat. 

In the blue kitchen, Patrick serves up some cold lobster. Royce jumps in to criticize Patrick. He really is campaigning for the leadership position. Perhaps he should try to cook well. That way, people will WANT him to be the leader. This whole “Patrick sucks” strategy isn’t working for him. 

On the red team, Tiffany finally decides that she knows how to cook Wellington and gives a perfect order to Gordon. When asked, “What’s next?” she has to think about it before saying, “Perfect Wellingtons.” Why is there even a question about that? I know that I’ve speculated that Robyn is just stupid. I think it might be spreading to Tiffany as well. 


Tiffany can count to potato! 

For the second time, the blue kitchen sends up cold lobster. The entire blue kitchen is kicked out. Tito Ortiz takes a picture of it on his phone. That is wonderful. Sugar Ray just smiles and eats his dinner. He may have had to suffer through Robyn’s autobiography, but he at least got to eat a meal. In fact, the blue team has not been able to send out a single entree. Once they are finished, the red team must go over to the blue kitchen to finish their entrees. Despite their constant arguing, the red team really knows how to pull it together to get the job done. 

After dinner, Chef Scott comes into the dorm to call the blue team downstairs. Gordon intercepts the chefs before they get to the kitchen. He’s too angry to even let them back in right now. Gordon asks how the red team can be so much better than the blue team. Brian responds with, “They’re not, chef.” Based on tonight’s service (and almost every other night’s service), yes they are, Brian. Gordon sends them back upstairs to come up with the two nominees for elimination. Why did Gordon call them downstairs only to send them right back upstairs to come up with the two names for elimination? Couldn’t Scott have just relayed the message?

Upstairs, the blue team starts discussing who should be eliminated. Patrick casts a vote for Clemenza and Brian and their performance on appetizers. You know, for someone who thinks that Clemenza is a good chef, Patrick tries to vote him out a lot. Your ass kissing strategy isn’t working, Patrick. You may want to rethink that. Brian and Clemenza both think that Patrick and Roshni should be the ones going home. I have to agree. The meat and fish stations were embarrassing. 

It’s time for elimination. Brian tells Gordon that he is the first chef that the team nominated. The team feels that the first ticket was what slowed everything down in the kitchen. Once again, Gordon sees through the bullshit and flat out says that this nomination doesn’t make any sense. Gordon also doesn’t understand why Clemenza was nominated. He recognizes that it was not the appetizers that slowed everything down. Gordon then calls down Roshni and Patrick. 

Gordon asks Patrick why he should stay in Hell’s Kitchen. He responds that he keeps his team focused and on point. He can talk all he wants, but he isn’t performing where he should be. Roshni argues that she has improved since becoming a part of the blue team. There is no doubt about that. However, she still can’t cook beef. When asked who should be sent home, three of the four remaining members of the blue team agree that it should be Roshni. Royce says that it should be Patrick, but Royce’s opinion doesn’t count. Roshni starts screaming at Clemenza that she and Brian were the ones who finished the dinner service when the rest of the team got kicked out. 


I really like you, Roshni, but you still kind of suck at everything. 

With that, Roshni is going home. I really did like Roshni as a person. However, she was pretty much a terrible chef on this show. Her elimination really was long overdue. What do you all think? Should Patrick have gone home instead? Should someone else entirely have left tonight? 

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PopePhilly

Aside from making fun of reality television on a weekly basis, PopePhilly is a legal assistant by day and avid kickball player by night (well, at least on Thursdays). On the nerd front, she is an active member of the forensic speech and debate community. She spends her time judging at tournaments throughout the country and serving on the board of directors for the West Chester University alumni chapter of Pi Kappa Delta (yes, speech nerds get to pretend to be cool by having Greek letters).

13 Comments

  1. 1
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 8:36 pm

    Robyn, please, put the do-rag back on. Please.

    So, could Anita Lo have looked any more like she would rather be anywhere but in Hell’s Kitchen? And how sad that they undoubtedly told these seriously way too talented for this show judges that they must be certain the scores are tied until we get to the (almost last) of the chefs? Really, why did they bother scoring them at all?

    As to Royces hair/lobster dish, these chefs don’t wear gloves or hairnets. Or sweat rags (yes, I’m talkin’ to you, Clemenza) so it’s a surprise there isn’t MORE hair on the plates. After seeing Tiffany stick a knife into an entree, lick it and stick it back in, I”m seriously considering giving up eating in restaurants EVER AGAIN. I’m no professional chef but I have had pro training and I can cook a perfect scallop 99 times out of a hundred. Maybe I couldn’t do it on t.v. but then again, maybe I could. The mistakes these folks make are incredible. Or, maybe it’s all just an excuse for Gordon to scream profanities at them.

    There have been a whole lot of ‘RAWR! It’s f’ing RAWR!’ dishes that didn’t look rawr and plenty that weren’t, that did. So, I guess all the mixed messages from Gordon could be accounting for some of the crazy chefisms.

    Maybe. Or chef with a side of crazy may be a cheftestant requirement.

  2. 2
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted June 28, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    I wonder what is it about Hell’s Kitchen that sucks out the talent in people. Roshni won an episode of Chopped! In fact, they showed that same episode a couple hours ago. Maybe she just doesn’t work well around assholes…

  3. 3
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 12:00 am

    I kind of feel bad that I’m not squeamish at all about watching lobster and crabs being cooked. But I’m from the Gulfcoast so I was desensitized to it very early. When I would eat boiled crabs when I was little one of my favorite things to do was pinch at the crab’s heart and eyes, with its claws.

    I really don’t have much to say about this episode, I spaced out for a few chunks of it. Unfortunately, one of those chunks was not when Robyn was “conversating” with Sugar Ray Leonard.

  4. 4
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 1:17 am

    I love Gordon Ramsey and I love Hells Kitchen but it’s obviously over produced. There seems to be a requirement that the cheftestants either be or act like they have been hit with the delusional crazy stick several times. At least three quarters of every cast every season are obviously acting out and cannot work with other people in a kitchen. I think they cast it and stage it that way — there is no way that these people would maintain employment at that level with those levels of immaturity and skills in the real world. And we already know that the ‘head cook’ title is never fulfilled. Ramsey would never let anyone of his winners have that kind of power in one of his restaurants. I think there are a handful of real contestants surrounded by ringers who are there to make sure there is drama, crazy, and enough errors for Ramsey to scream about. After all, that’s their bread and butter on this show – Ramsey screaming at stupid people. So there have to be a minimum number of stupid people and mistakes to make that happen. And as noted above, how is it that the final determining decision of outside judges is always the last dish judged? Always. That’s too much coincidence for me. It’s staged that way to create drama. I’m disappointed by all of this staging, I wish I could believe in the show like I did the first couple of seasons because I innately like the thing. But it’s just a lot of fakery now (or always was and I was innocent then).

  5. 5
    Novi
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 4:03 am

    “Clemenza” sounds like that illness that goes around your office a few times a year.

    And I still find it funny that Ramsay screams like they’re murdering kittens if something is even a smidge under or overcooked, but he looked at Monti on Masterchef like a psycho when she started screaming and using his exact tactics, minus swearing – things like screaming for something you know isn’t ready over and over until they just bring it up raw to make you shut up.

  6. 6
    MummyButterfly
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 6:33 am

    @Novi – I always assumed that was because it’s pretty common knowledge (for those of us who watch EVERY Gordon show on) that he really plays up the screaming for HK. He’s actually a pretty great guy, and while he gets stuff DONE in his kitchen, he’s not like he is on HK.

    Whereas, Monti would be showing her “true colours” on Masterchef. I have always enjoyed watching Gordon’s Kitchen Nightmares, and even then you can see how different he is in the BBC version vs the American FOX version. I swear there was an interview right before the American version of KN came out where Gordon actually talked about how he was told to “amp it up” drama and cursing-wise for HK. I think that is why I like Masterchef in so many ways better. :)

  7. 7
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 9:11 am

    @Chris Velazquez: I watched that episode too! What I did notice, however, was that Roshni didn’t win by producing amazing dishes. She won because each round had someone who didn’t use one of the ingredients. I see that happen on “Chopped” a lot. Someone wins because they screwed up the least. That’s how Roshni seemed to win. I still like her a lot, but I have serious doubts about her talent.

    @everyone else: I have no doubt that Gordon is told to play up his anger. First and foremost, this is a show. It’s meant to be entertaining. I have to keep remembering that when I watch or I just get angry.

  8. 8
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 10:25 am

    This wasn’t the first episode to feature qualified judges. The Mexican food challenge also featured two accomplished chefs. John Sedlar was on Top Chef Masters, as were Anita Lo and Michael Cimarusti. Then they’re forced to eat Robyn’s food.

    But I’ve noticed that the two times Patrick’s been on a consequential station he’s bottomed out. He seems to assign himself the difficult task of making mashed potatoes most of the time. (Which flummoxed Royce, so maybe it is tough for this group of goons.) I have no love lost for Clemenza, but he always seems to be on a high profile/volume station that gets slammed with orders then, understandably, flails because Fearless Leader Patrick doesn’t actually pick up the slack or lead the team, or assign someone on another, less active station to help out. He just rubs his chin after the fact and tells Gordon how everyone else failed and how he’s going to shape them up. I’m glad he got called to the carpet this week.

    He’s such a Lumbergh.

  9. 9
    CrystalBall
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Predictions for the Final Four w/ 2 Wildcard “seeds”
    Women
    =====
    1. Christina: emotionally-stable & somewhat consistent in food-quality. Ramsay-Wrath-Factor (RWF): Medium-Low
    2. Dana: seems to be fairly consistent. Plus, Dana seems to be somewhat sly, smart, and is the first Hell’s Kitchen Hottie that I’m shamelessly-biased enough to want to win. RWF: Low
    Wildcard — Barbie: she started off with a huge target on her back, but that target has shrunk a bit. RWF: Medium-Low.

    Men
    ===
    3. Justin: more adult than the rest of his team & that’s not saying a whole lot. RWF: Medium-Low
    4. Brian: goofy at times but seems to be somewhat-grounded in reality. RWF: Medium-Low
    Wildcard — Patrick: I don’t see him lasting much longer, with the twice-cold-lobster fiasco. RWF: Medium-high.

    Who won’t make it & why not:
    ====================
    Tiffany — Unstable & volatile; not a sign of someone who can lead a Gordon Ramsay Kitchen. RWF: Medium-high.
    Kimmie — that country-ghetto schtick makes for good entertainment, but she has severe mood swings (possibly due to creative editing). RWF: Medium-low.
    Robyn — Obnoxiously delusional. RWF: Medium-high.
    Royce — Delusionally obnoxious. RWF: Medium-high. It would be the Apocalypse if he & Robyn made a Spawn of Satan.
    Clemenza — competent but erratic; I think he has plateaued; he won’t improve his skill set but might manage to outlast people who suck more than him. RWF: Medium-high.

  10. 10
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted July 1, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    @PopePhilly, I agree, the other guy did seem to cook tastier food, though I must say Roshni’s dessert looked like the tastiest of all dishes to me, I would’ve devoured it. And I kinda like how other aspects can get people to lose. It don’t matter how awesome you cook if the dish is incomplete. We know Ramsey’d blow a gasket if someone seved a perfectly cooked yet unfinished dish.

  11. 11
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    @Chris: I like that aspect of “Chopped” too. It’s the “attention to detail” part of it. However, I feel like Roshni lucked out because she competed against people who just couldn’t pull it together. I think that show is equal parts talent and luck-of-the-draw.

    I want to take back my comment about her talent. I’m sure she’s a great chef. Maybe she just doesn’t do well in a competition based setting.

  12. 12
    Bob
    Posted July 16, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    Get rid of bitch MONTI

  13. 13
    chuck
    Posted August 13, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    I love watching this show just to watch Chef Ramsey tear everyone new rear ends. Even though i watch for this reason i wouldnt want to eat there especially with my children just for this reason because while ripping into them alot of bleeps are added by FOX & everyone knows why this is done. Another reason i wouldnt eat there is because i think people cooking food especially when they have long hair should have to wear hearnets i guess that just wouldnt look as good on tv. Another problem & i hate saying it because he’s actually my favorite Chef & im rooting for him to win but i dont think i could eat anything Clomenza makes cause 1st the no hairnet like stated before but 2nd thing is how badly he sweats! I know he’s working hard & kitchens are very hot places to work in 1st place but you know some of his sweat has to
    Drip into the food. Regardless keep it up Clomenza & im rooting for you! I hope Robyn leaves this week then other dude & Barbie in that order. Hope its you and other 2 girls in final 3 hope you win but i like looking especially T the blonde & the brunette.

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