Hell’s Kitchen Recap: Finale, Part End

Then, suddenly, another ego rears its head. Christina tells Dana to re-cook some halibut to get a better sear on it, and Dana flat out says she doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Um, who cares what you think, Dana? Would she have said that to Gordon? I think the answer is no, because Dana seems like the type who’d want to retain all of her working limbs. But Dana just refuses to do it, proving she doesn’t think much of Christina’s authority. Christina is not having any of that, though, and orders her to re-cook it and shut the fuck up. Not in those words, but that’s how I’d have said it. What she brings up is, I gather, the same piece, now overcooked of course, and then she starts arguing when Christina calls her out on it. Andi steps in, and yells in Dana’s face to do what she’s told.

First Tiffany, now Dana. This is why I love Andi.

But Dana just refuses to acknowledge that anything is wrong with the fish. What the fuck, Dana? You could’ve cooked like three more orders of it in the time you’re taking to bitch. I know third place smarts, but stop acting like you and Christina are still on equal footing. Anyone else noting that the most bullshit is coming from Dana and Clemenza, both in the top five? If their cooking skills matched their egos, they might actually be the top two instead of numbers three and five.

Gordon has to actually point out to Dana all the things wrong with the fish, and he tells Christina that if Dana can’t get it together, she needs to decide if she should pull her from the station. Christina gives Dana one more chance. Meanwhile, Justin’s side is sending out the entrees, but one comes back almost immediately because it’s cold. Royce, you fuck. How did that slip past them? Royce doesn’t know why he’s being blamed for his mistake, because Justin should’ve caught it before it went out. Yeah, that’s true, but it was you who cooked it wrong in the first place, you douche.

Shut up, Royce.

Kimmie, who has been surprisingly silent and beyond reproach this episode, is ready with the beef, and Dana finally gets her shit together on fish, But Justin’s insistence on food actually being properly prepared has caused his kitchen to grind to a halt. Royce fucks something else up, Brian fails to salt the potatoes, Barbie overcooks the meat, and god only knows where Clemenza went.

Christina’s final entrée order is up, and everything is fine…until Dana cuts into some pork, and Gordon spots that it’s RAWR from clear across the kitchen.

You can’t slip RAWR past Gordon, folks.

Christina pulls the entire order and makes everyone redo their portions. So on a team including Robyn, Kimmie, and Patrick, it’s superstar Dana who has managed to throw the most wrenches into service. In fact, we didn’t hear a peep out of Kimmie or Patrick, either drama-wise or performance-wise, and Robyn’s only transgression was one round of watery risotto. And no real drama from her, either, at least not the Robyn-level caliber we were expecting.

I figured she and Kimmie would get into at least two screaming fights, and maybe Patrick would cry or something, but nope.