Robyn and Clemenza get my personal favorite cut, ribeye, and round that out with parsnips, sweet corn, broccoli, and bacon. Robyn is happy, probably because she doesn’t have to deal with beets. Clemenza is happy because he would bathe himself in bacon if he could. Yep, I can still taste the guacamole, and it’s definitely ruined forever. Bacon, too.
We’ve been saying that’s sweat, but bacon grease wouldn’t be a bad guess, to be honest.
Then Gordon adds a little twist: Just because Kimmie didn’t get a turn on the slot machine doesn’t mean she won’t be cooking. Volunteering has actually given her an advantage, it seems, because she gets to pick a member of her own team to cook alongside. She’ll use the same ingredients they have on her own dish, and the entire team will pick the best of the two to send up to Gordon. So if she’s smart, she’ll pick Robyn. And IMMEDIATELY, before I even get that sentence out of my fingertips, Kimmie is yelling “Robyn.” She knows. Robyn isn’t happy, of course, because when is she, ever? Kimmie claims she’s the most confident with ribeye, but I suspect she’s also playing it safe by going head to head with the weakest player on the team. But since they’re besties, Robyn feels like Kimmie should’ve chosen differently. She feels betrayed, and immediately gets all riled up.
Christina isn’t so confident with her ingredients, however. She doesn’t have a clue how to best combine them, and since Royce is bringing his “A-GAYME,” he thinks she should worry. Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’ll be okay, regardless of the ingredients. Royce, shut up. Please.
Kimmie doesn’t know what a parsnip is, so she just tosses them in the deep fryer and hopes for the best. She also deep-fries the bacon, and probably the corn and broccoli, because why the fuck not. That’s how we do it down South. She competing against Robyn, it doesn’t matter, even though Robyn says she can cook circles around Kimmie.
Okay, Robyn. Go sit down with Royce at the Shut It Table.
Serving time! The Red team picks Robyn’s steak for some reason, which makes Kimmie cry. She seems to think that Dana, Christina, and Tiffany picked Robyn’s because they don’t like Kimmie, but they don’t really seem to like Robyn either, so who knows. Gordon’s missing out on deep fried bacon, though. I’d be pissed.
Gordon informs them that the challenge is critical, because of the whole steak house thing. What’s that place going to be called, again? Gordon Ramsay Steak? I’m not sure, they don’t talk about it much. Anyway, Justin serves up his filet with truffle smashed beets, glazed carrots, chorizo cream sauce, and a chorizo zucchini cake. Gordon loves it. Tiffany stuffed her filet with chorizo and zucchini, and right away Gordon doesn’t know why she’d do that. The filet is not the cut to be stuffing with a bunch of bullshit. He likes the taste, but likes Justin’s more. Point to blue.
Christina and Royce are up next. Christina did a bunch of weird shit to hers, wrapping the eggplant around the asparagus, which Gordon raves about. He can’t get past the lump of yams, though, which is just sort of sitting there. He says she nailed the steak, but ruined it with that lump. Royce looks all happy. Asshole. He’s made a crabcake and served it alongside the meat and vegetables. Gordon loves the presentation, but he literally has to spit out the eggplant. In the end, Christina gets the point. I guess she’s not crying yet. Royce will just have to try again.
Dana presents her dish, which Gordon won’t even touch until he’s drained about eight cups of grease off the plate. And he may as well have saved himself the trouble, because the meat itself is dry and overcooked, totally ruined. Best of luck getting that steak house position, Dana. Gordon says it’s her worst performance yet. Ow. Patrick doesn’t fare much better, because his is too salty. No point.
Brian promises to slam his head in the first blunt object he can find if Barbie beats him. I had no loyalties in this particular pairing, but now I want Barbie to win just so I can see that. She puts up her surf and turf and veggies, and Gordon loves it. Brian punches himself in the face, then presents his dish, which Gordon loves as well, enough that he gives them each a point. Crap. Gordon, I wanted to see Brian smash his own head into a blunt object. I ask for so little, yet you rob me of even that. Dick. And of course, the points ensure the teams remain tied, because we can’t have a sweep on the challenge—it might get boring!
I think we can all agree with this.