The guys return and they all go to bed, with both Robyn and Kimmie insisting that they’re sick and tired of all the drama. May I suggest shutting the fuck up and ceasing to instigate it, then? It seems like the sensible course of action, but sensibility is dead in this place, even in the dead of night. Kimmie’s snoring irritates Robyn to the point that she has to physically leave the room and go sleep in one of the spare beds in the room shared by Barbie, Dana, and Christina. She scares the bejesus out of Barbie, and Christina tells her to sleep on the couch next time because she doesn’t want a change in her room’s energy. Okay, I know they don’t like Robyn, but that is a special level of bitchiness. It’s not like they’re paying rent in there, and there’s no shortage of space, so even though Robyn’s not my favorite, I say Christina can go suck it in this particular case. Change of energy, my ass.
Anyway, Robyn can’t wait to bring this news to Tiffany, and lament how catty and backstabby everyone is. Tiffany says they can all go fuck themselves. Justin just sits there and stares into space. I sort of dig Justin sometimes, just because he can’t be bothered to participate in any of it. His reaction when Robyn came in wailing about the bed issue was a stone cold neutral “huh.” You have to love that sort of upfront apathy.
“That’s great, Robyn, but I really couldn’t give less of a fuck if I had a gun to my head.”
Patrick is crying again, because he misses his family. It’s sweet, but sort of awkward, because he’s all huddled in the corner, saying prayers to their pictures and weeping, and I just don’t know what to do with it. It’s hard to imagine the dude will have the backbone to run a high-pressure kitchen when he so frequently leaks from the eyes at the slightest provocation, but at the same time I can appreciate a man who loves his family and is in touch with his feelings. I’m chalking it up to the natural insanity that comes with being a parent. Kids will turn you loony, it’s a fact. That said, it couldn’t hurt Patrick to dry his eyes and sack up at this stage of the game.
It’s dinner service, and Brian tells us Justin is a machine who wants everyone to be perfect, which is offensive to everyone, especially Clemenza. He spends half the episodes giving Patrick hell for not instructing the team, but now he shits on Justin for doing the opposite? Does Clemenza only want instruction if he has to ask for it? More importantly, are we actually getting some Justin camera time? Perfectionism might be a detrimental characteristic, but not for certain members of the Red team, apparently; Barbie says Tiffany has no standards, and runs around after her trying to fix everything.
Standards? You mean it’s not standard to lick a knife before touching it to the food?
Robyn and Tiffany, the two who gripe loudest about all the shit-talking, immediately start bitching and being really passive-aggressive right there, but Barbie doesn’t give a fuck and just redoes all of Tiffany’s work. Tiffany is now shit talking all over the place and throwing things. Barbie still doesn’t care, and even informs Tiffany exactly what she’s doing to fix the screwed up stuff while she’s fixing it. Love it. Dana says everyone needs to leave their personal drama at the door. Coming from her, that’s not just rich, that’s schizo.
This is about as confrontational as she’ll condescend to get.
Gordon pumps them up for Steak Night, announces that Justin’s filet will be on the menu, and lets everyone know that he will be nitpicking every little detail, because it’s kind of important to nail Steak Night when every night will be Steak Night at GORDON RAMSAY STEAK. It’s also Family Night, so kids will be allowed through the doors to eat $25 plates of artfully arranged chicken nuggets and listen to Gordon Ramsay scream “fuck” all evening. Oh, this’ll be a clusterfuck for sure. Hopefully Patrick won’t break down in tears at the sight of all those families.