Hell’s Kitchen Recap: Project Run Away

19 Comments

1. 1
   chaosbutterfly
   Posted June 22, 2012 at 1:22 pm

   PopePhilly, I hope you feel better soon! Kidney stones are scary.

   And I feel the same way about the opening sequence. Although I’m always amused that they have Brian of all people bending a spoon with his mind. He can’t cook fish without burning through the whole lot of it, and his only adjective for food is “sexy”, but he’s bending spoons with his brain. Okay.
   But I don’t blame him for his horndoggish behavior. The only women he has seen for how many days now is the red team. Really, he might as well be in jail.
   Can you imagine having to look at Robyn, Kimmie, and Tiffany for all that time? And then suddenly having a pile of gorgeous women paraded in front of you? Nope, I don’t blame him (or the other men) one bit.

   Roshni is cute as a button. I want to put her in my pocket and take her home.

   I’ve also made up my mind that I do like Barbie. I wasn’t 100% sure, but then she called Tiffany a savage, and I knew.

   Also, about Patrick, a little while ago…I think it was after the scallop challenge fiasco but I’m not sure…Gordon was shouting at the blue team about how they need a leader. Patrick raised his hand and volunteered to step up and be the leader. Gordo was like okay, and none of the blue team openly dissented, so that’s how he got the mantle. HILARIOUS how Royce tried to ever so nonchalantly throw his hat in the ring though. Did he really think that anyone wanted him to be their leader? He reminds me of Cheven from Around the World in 80 Plates. Totally delusional and oblivious.

   And these fashion people clearly aren’t serious about their lives if they’re having an event hosted by Hell’s Kitchen. I hope they’re ready to be humiliated in front of their guests. But they don’t eat anyway, so I guess it doesn’t matter.

2. 2
   PopePhilly
   Posted June 22, 2012 at 1:36 pm

   Thanks, chaosbutterfly. I’m getting there. I’m trying to write recaps between Percocet naps.

   I like Roshni a lot too – especially since she joined the blue team. She seems to do better when there isn’t a lot of infighting all around her. Also, I think I remember the Patrick moment. I thought that was just for that single challenge since the blue team was falling apart. I didn’t realize they all took that so seriously.

   I guess the lack of fashion industry people eating is why they want the dishes to be so visually stimulating. They’re only just going to look at it!

3. 3
   Andyourlittledogtoo
   Posted June 22, 2012 at 2:40 pm

   Ah, percocet! Good times.

   The fashion judges. I just can’t with them. “It’s too yellow. Yellow clashes with my outfit. Blue is in this year. Can’t you make it more blue?” Sniff. “There are three olives on that plate. That’s a lot of food for an appetizer.” Sniff Yeah, they haven’t eaten since 1994, they have no business judging food.

   This cast is so unlikeable, more than usual, that I was having trouble deciding who was the most horrible but I have finally settled on Tiffany. She is an ignorant bully and troublemaker. And frankly watching two overweight, ignorant, redneck women immediately start dogging the sole black woman on the team the way they have makes me suspect their underlying motives a little bit. I don’t usually flip to the ‘racist’ accusation off the start but…that doesn’t sit well with me, their over the top instant hate of Barbie. I think Barbie acted out in response to the insta-hate twins (and Robyn). Robyn is just a hater period, one of those people who think they have to shout and be all aggressive because they are little and “don’t take crap from nobody!” People like that are super-reactive and almost impossible to reason with once they engage you in their drama. That’s who I think Robyn is. But Tiffany and Kimmie are just redneck good ole girls who seem affronted that they have to deal with the likes of Barbie. And Kimmie can cry me a river, she burned that bridge with me over her earlier behavior.

4. 4
   Andyourlittledogtoo
   Posted June 22, 2012 at 2:42 pm

   Oh! I just realized I left out the part where I say I hope you feel better soon, PopePhilly! That was supposed to come with the percocet mention and I got distracted. I loved your recap.

5. 5
   PopePhilly
   Posted June 22, 2012 at 2:56 pm

   Thanks, Andyourlittledogtoo! My next dose of pain killer comes in about 2 hours. Until then, I’m just trying not to move much. The Percocet is quite fun. The morphine that I got in the ER was a lot of fun too. I don’t want to imply that I’m any kind of pain killer addict. However, if I’m in a situation where I have to take the strong ones, I enjoy the amount of sleep I get.

   I’m on the fence with fashion judges. On one hand, they had some odd things to say that didn’t seem to make sense. I don’t think Brian and Justin had too much food for an appetizer – especially compared to Dana and Christina. However, when they specifically asked for certain things (healthy, spices, etc.), and the chefs just ignored it, I can understand why they’d be pissed off about that.

   I don’t like the pull the racist card either, but I can understand where you’re coming from with Tiffany and Kimmie. The lack of motive for the Barbie hatred seems to point to that a bit. However, I also suspect that the two of them are just looking for someone to hate. First it was Barbie, then it was Danielle, now it seems to be Dana. I don’t even count Robyn in the equation. She’s just an angry, angry little woman. I think she just hates everything.

6. 6
   featherhead
   Posted June 22, 2012 at 3:24 pm

   Is it just me or does the way Robin speaks with only her lower lip moving freak anyone else out? I’m not even hearing what she’s saying, I’m just stuck on watching her lip moving to the left side of her chin. It freaks me out totally.

7. 7
   sagittariuskim
   Posted June 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

   I like Roshni, Patrick, and Barbie right now because they’re not as horrible or obnoxious as the rest. And they don’t talk as much.

   I hope you feel better. I went to the ER a few years ago and was told that I had a kidney stone. They said I would past it later on that day, almost four years later and I still haven’t passed it. So I don’t know what I had, but it wasn’t a kidney stone. The pain meds were fun though, be careful what you watch while on them though. When I got home that day ABC Family was having their monthly Harry Potter marathon. I fell asleep during the first one and woke up during the spider scene of the third one. Waking up to images of giant spiders while full of drugs is very disorienting.

8. 8
   Mummy Butterfly
   Posted June 22, 2012 at 8:27 pm

   OH MY GOSH – Does anyone else see a brown-haired Kody Brown (from Sister Wives) in Patrick, in the photo when he is standing behind Creeper Brian on their reward? It scared me, I thought he might look for a creamsicle shirt!

   Also, The whole Robyn thing about not doing what the customer ordered – I have found that to be an issue in a LOT of restaurants. You’d be surprised. I have severe food allergies, and there have been many times in my life when I’ve gotten something different than what I’ve asked for and been treated like a problem when I speak up. And it’s basic stuff – like asking for no cheese on top of a piece of meat. Then the cheese gets put on the meat – and instead of making me another one, I get an angry cook who just pulls the cheese off – leaving melted cheese bits, where I can’t eat anything.

   Personally, I think even if I was just being picky – DO WHAT I ASK! Dude, I’m spending MY money so YOU can have a job. But in today’s world of food allergies…I’m not going to sit at home while my family goes out to eat. AND I try really hard to make it easy on the restaurant, so don’t screw with me when I DO make a request.

   Sorry for the rant, but Robyn really struck a nerve with me tonight!

9. 9
   featherhead
   Posted June 23, 2012 at 4:59 am

   I was reading this on another device, so the pictures were much darker. I kept staring at the screen shot of Royce (the first pic?) and since it was dark , the picture looked to me to be a penis in a tux (don’t ask) with the name Royce under it. It took me forever to realize it was a picture of Royce upside down, and when I realized that, I still say it’s a penis in a tux.

10. 10
    snowshoecat
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 5:16 am

    PPhilly, what you described is just ghastly! And the stone, too (sorry). Seriously, just the thought of “passing” a stone makes my skin crawl.

    You (and the show) certainly inspired some hilarious comments! Choosing contestants as faves because they aren’t as horrible as the others is certainly to damn with faint praise!

    I am just astonished that the cheftestants can’t cook what most of us call the basics. Not burning fish is sorta expected, innit?

    Great recap, especially in the face of pain and Percocets! Hope everything comes out okay!

11. 11
    zerocool
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    The circus montage/intro is good, but my favorite by far was a few seasons ago – the Gulliver’s Travels one. Gordon flicking a tiny little chef off his shoulder cracked me up everytime. Excellent re-cap!

12. 12
    PopePhilly
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    @Featherhead: I’ve noticed that with Robyn. It’s just another reason to want to punch her in the face. Also, I think a penis in a tux named Royce would be the perfect description of that man.

    @Sagittarius Kim: 4 YEARS?!?!?! Now I’m terrified. I’m going to drink soooooooooooooo much water over the next few days!

    @MummyButterfly: Exactly! The judges didn’t really ask for anything unreasonable – especially considering that they had no menu to order from. It was all open-ended. I guess sometimes it depends on the request. Your asking for no cheese is perfectly reasonable! If you need me to slash some chefs’ tires for you, just let me know. I got your back.

    @snowshoecat: Things seem to be getting better. My cat is being a very good nurse and just cuddling with me and waiting patiently for me to be able to get her some food when it’s meal time. Hopefully I can go back to work on Monday.

    @zerocool: Thanks! I don’t remember that intro. I have to go back and try to find it. That sounds AWESOME!

13. 13
    sagittariuskim
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    @PopePhilly Awww I didn’t mean to scare you. Like I said I pretty sure the doctor was wrong about it being a kidney stone. He was a gynecologist , I’m not sure that they know that much about kidney stones.

14. 14
    snowshoecat
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    Cats are very good at healing. Passive, true, but patient (except first thing in the morning. This kitty wants her coffee!) and soft, and understanding.

    I’m so glad one has you.

    Be well and keep chugging that water!!! (good for the coat, too)

15. 15
    BlueCanary
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    I’m back and forth on Clemenza, too. It’s like for every sensible thing that leaves his mouth, something stupid and/or annoying sneaks out after it. And yeah, he can tuck that tongue back in at any time.

    People who need to shut up: Robyn, Royce, Dana, Tiffany, Kimmie… Basically, the entire red team can shut it, plus Royce a million times over. I like Roshni, Barbie, and Patrick, and am neutral on Justin (mostly because he’s said about four words all season. If Guy and Brian would just think outside their pants, we’d be cool, but until that happens they can join Clemenza in the back and forth category. And Royce can just leave at any time. I think I actually yelled “HA!” at the TV when he was trying to insinuate himself into the leadership role.

    Grwat recap. Hope you feel better soon!

16. 16
    BelowSeaLevel
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    Enjoyed your recap, PopePhilly! Hope you feel better soon and glad your ex was there for you (had one a couple of months ago, so I hate to hear you’re going through this).

    Loved your comment #14, Snowshoecat. So true and sweet.

17. 17
    Moli
    Posted June 23, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    @PPhilly, I had a guy at my old job pass one…he worked on the 11th floor and the 10th and 12th floors heard him. He said he had no idea until ‘broken glass was trying to come out my penis’. If they were called something like ‘calcium in your kidneys’ or something less scary sounding than ‘kindey stone’. I hope you feel better.

18. 18
    LAC
    Posted June 24, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    Philly – thank you for the recap. Kidney stones are a bitch, aren’t they? I had passed one last month and next to childbirth, the pain was unbearable. I am impressed that you churned a recap out and that once again, it was better than this miserable show. I am still not seeing a contender in the bunch yet and wish a 16 ton anvil would land on Royce.

19. 19
    PopePhilly
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    @sagittariuskimmy: No worries! I actually just got home from the hospital a few hours ago. The doctor had to go in and resolve the stone. I’ll save you all the TMI!

    @snowshoecat: I read an article a while back that said a cat’s purr actually has some ability to heal a human’s physical pain. I know that they’re good mentally for just about everything. She’s enjoying the window right now, but she’ll visit me later.

    @BlueCanary: Barbie and Christina can talk whenever they want. Clemenza can talk sometimes.

    @Belowsealevel: He and I ended on great terms and we’re still pretty good friends. I’d do the same for him. Things are better now. They did some surgery to remove the stone because it was twice the size they originalle ty thought. I’ll spare the gory details.

    @Moli: They should just call it “This is going to feel like you were literally just stabbed.” It would make it way more honest.

    @LAC: Thanks so much! I should have everything to you all right on time this week. Things are a bit better now. My hatred for Royce just means he’s going to win the whole damn thing.