Hey there, strangers! After a solid two weeks of putting Gordon in the corner to wallow in the well-muscled extravaganza dominating the NBC airwaves, it’s time to bring things back to what we know: the high drama of Hell’s Kitchen.
The last couple episodes trimmed some dead weight big time, what with Kimmie and Brian being shown the door, but we’re all still sort of confused, since the borderline headcase that is Robyn was given a Black jacket. Left behind to babysit her are Christina, Justin, Barbie, Dana, and Clemenza, all of whom must now set aside their differences and work together to sabotage Robyn. Because that’s what happens whenever she fucks up—it’s never because she’s an incompetent lunatic, it’s because someone is plotting against her!
This is what we’re left with. Man, I still miss Patrick.
So all the remaining contestants are totally psyched to have the Black jackets, and they all get chef knives, as well. Good, because if everyone has the same knife, it’ll be harder to determine exactly who murdered Robyn…who is dancing Dana around the kitchen like they haven’t hated each other openly for the past 17 episodes. Justin and Clemenza are more somber, knowing that the time has come to really bring their respective A-games. I guess they’ve just been slacking this whole time?
After a drama-free night, Gordon brings them down to meet Chefs Ludo and Quinn, who are actual real chefs and have been somehow roped into this, probably because they owe Gordon a favor or something. Gordon unveils a dish prepared by each of them, and the challenge is for the contestants to taste and examine each dish and list the ways in which they vary from the traditional version. Ludo’s caprese salad, for example, has red bell peppers instead of tomatoes, and feta mousse instead of mozzarella.
Such mystery lies within!
No one got a damn one of those ingredients right, but somehow brought up hazelnuts from god knows where. Chef Quinn has made seafood pasta, with something called salsify instead of noodles. Clemenza knows it’s not pasta because he’s Italian, and Dana thinks it might be potato. What salsify is, and I had to turn to Google for this one, is a flowering plant that’s cultivated for its edible roots. So he basically just gave them a plate of weeds and fish. Gordon can’t believe none of them got that, because I guess they’re just not sophisticated enough. At least they appear to have heard of it, which is more than I can say for myself. Also, and I know I’ve said this before, can we PLEASE stop with the regional stereotypes? Clemenza’s Italian heritage does not mean he knows everything about pasta or garlic or whatever. It’s like if I called PopePhilly a cheesesteak munching mofo, just because of the Philly thing. For all I know, PopePhilly hates cheesesteak. Probably not, though.