Hell’s Kitchen Recap: Solidarity. Or not.

Recaps

By BlueCanary | Wednesday, August 15, 2012 | 1:45 pm | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Hell's Kitchen, Recaps

Gordon then unveils his own dish, which will serve as the basis of the Taste It, Now Make It challenge. Ludo and Quinn bow out, since they presumably have things to which they must attend in their own restaurants, and Gordon divides everyone into teams of two: Dana and Clemenza, Justin and Barbie, and Christina and Robyn. Poor Christina. The pair who comes the closest to recreating Gordon’s dish based on taste alone will win. Clemenza starts hogging it down immediately, and Gordon has to actually say something to him. Good things Kimmie isn’t still there.

Two of the teams seem to be going in the same direction on every single ingredient, but Dana and Clemenza have gone rogue, wrapping their veal in prosciutto instead of Serrano ham, flavoring their white bean puree with horseradish instead of bacon, and using madeira instead of port in their sauce. Gordon makes a bunch of non-committal noises while tasting it, then moves on to the next one without telling them if they’re off base or not.

All the teams were correct in their veal assumptions, and the wrapping was indeed prosciutto—not Serrano ham, which Barbie adorably rationalizes should be solid, since it’s the prosciutto of Spain. The beans were flavored with bacon, not horseradish, which means everyone was right except Dana and Clemenza, and it’s all tied up, as per usual. The sauce will be the deciding factor, and it turns out, the winners are Dana and Clemenza! Wow, way to use that palate, Clemenza. Too bad about the horseradish. But they still won, and they get to spend the day at a lake with a gourmet picnic, then go jet skiing. Justin is pissed that he doesn’t get to jet ski, and more pissed when they find out that they have to work with James to clean the entire front of the house, including the linens and silverware. Well, Justin, you’re the one with the supposed best palate in the history of Hell’s Kitchen, what with the blind taste test win, so maybe you should’ve put that to better use.

Clemenza and Dana make some bitchy remarks on the way out and then proceed to have a damn blast on the lake. I don’t think I’ve ever seen these two interact before this episode, but they seem to get along just fine. Then they have a horrible moment when they stop for lunch, and Dana’s life vest comes off, revealing lots of cleavage. Clemenza is checking out her boobs, of course, and production adds a lot of pervy music, but at least he’s not openly being a pig. She’d better be happy it’s not Royce out there with her, or someone would likely need a lawyer.

Yes, Clemenza, we know they were big. We don’t need the ASL interpretation.

Meanwhile, everyone is bitching because they hate ironing. Justin feels it’s degrading, probably because he thinks it’s women’s work, and he passive-aggressively avoids it until James hands him a couple of Gordon’s shirts and tells him to get moving like a good little drudge. Not much time is spent on the punishment, so it must have been relatively drama-free. Boring.

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BlueCanary is as unorthodox a blend of optimistic and bitter, laid-back and anxious, motivated and straight up lazy tas one is likely to meet outside an unspecified institution. She spent the past decade holding a variety of job titles, including reporter, tech writer, production manager, and administrative assistant (the go-to job in this economy for folks who just HAD to get that English degree). She is currently living under the tiny yet powerful thumb of an awesome, pint-sized little dude, who wets himself and can't form full sentences (read: stay at home mom). Another tyrannical little thumb is gestating in her womb. She is a regular on The Neutral Corner podcast and blogs at www.mamamuzzle.com. 

Blue's as-yet-unpublished YA novel, The Nature of Echoes, is currently a Quarterfinalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. If you'd like to check it out, a free excerpt is available to download at http://www.amazon.com/Nature-Echoes-ABNA-Entry-ebook/dp/B00B9N3XFQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1363378599&sr=1-1&keywords=eva+gibson+abna.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    michkabibbles
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    oh barbie, i have missed your face(s).

  2. 2
    Leto
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    I smell Barbie (no, that’s not racist), Christina, and Justin in final 3. Unless one of those 3 royally fuck up. Justin is getting so douchy that I almost like Dana better. But it was fun to see him getting shirts as reward for his sexism, thay’re just a nightmare to iron. Serves him right :D .

    Can’t wait for a Robynfree show. (and I giggled like a crazy person to your mike myers caption. The Barbie Face is just priceless with it)

  3. 3
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    @Leto, I saw this French joke the other day and I thought of you. I even claim that because it has a potato in it that it is NOT off topic.

    A farm youth from mid-America who had never traveled out of his county before was walking along a beach in France on his first foreign holiday.

    There were many beautiful women lying in the sun. Many were topless, and he really wanted to meet one. But try as he might, the women didn’t seem to be at all interested.

    Finally, as a last resort, he walked up to a French guy lying on the beach who was surrounded by adoring women.

    “Excuse me” he said, taking the guy aside “but I’ve been trying to meet one of these women for about an hour now, and I just can’t seem to get anywhere with them. You’re French. You know these women. What do they want?”

    “Maybe I can help a leetle beet” says the Frenchman. “What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way”.

    “Wow! Thanks!” said the young fellow and off he went to the store.

    He bought a skimpy red bathing suit, put it on, and went back to the beach. He paraded up and down the beach but still had no luck with the ladies. So he went back to the Frenchman. “I’m sorry to bother you again” he said “but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven’t been able to meet a girl”.

    “Okay” says the Frenchman “I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way”.

    “Thanks!” he said, and he ran off to the store.

    He bought the potato, put it in the swimsuit, and marched up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walked but the women would hardly even look at him. After half an hour he couldn’t take it anymore and went back to the Frenchman.

    “Look buddy” he said “I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach and still nothing!

    What more can I do?”

    “Well” said the Frenchman “maybe I can help you a leetle beet.

    Why don’t you try moving zee potato to the FRONT of zee sweeming suit?”

  4. 4
    Leto
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    @Crankyguy: I know that joke xD. A guy named Villemin who draw “comics” of more or less dirty jokes did that one. He draws very ugly people, with very, very gross language, it’s hilarious.

  5. 5
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    I’m totally a cheesesteak munching mofo. Provolone-whiz-with, baby!

    However, I don’t know how to MAKE them very well.

  6. 6
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    Also,

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That is all.

  7. 7
    Josh Darius
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Horseradish, really horseradish? And they won of course.

  8. 8
    WishICouldDance
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    CrankyGur!!! You are now on my “S” list and that is NOT the Special List!!!! >: (

    You joke stuck the image of…. Clemenza in a Speedo front and center in my brain!! Potato and all!!

    Nooooooooooo!!! It took me all night to erase the Jet Ski incident – ewww! Creep much, Clemenza? – now I have this. :” (

  9. 9
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Feta mousse sounds delicious.

  10. 10
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    So, riddle me this: why does Gordon always seem so surprised (6 times surprised) when Clemenza gets nominated? He did it again on this episode. To me, Robyn and Clemenza were the logical 2 choices.

    Does anyone think he was expecting Dana to be nominated?

  11. 11
    featherhead
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    Barbie didn’t even let Ramsay lift up the lid on his dish, she grabbed it out of his hand and pushed him aside. The WTF look on Gordon’s face was priceless!

  12. 12
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    Ugh, would people please stop putting Ludo on t.v..

    Finally!

  13. 13
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    I was wondering how the guy (Quinn) from Hatfields was roped into it – then I watched Masterchef – which took place at Hatfields… My guess is it was a twofer for the restaurant – if you want Masterchef, you gotta do a Hell’s Kitchen spot for me!

  14. 14
    nashuaf
    Posted August 18, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Can someone please just explain to me how it is that every person on this show smokes? How can they taste anything???

  15. 15
    Prozach
    Posted August 18, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    @nashuaf I don’t think Dana smokes, but she’d be the first that’s for sure

    Speaking of which, considering that Gordon gave her the “take control” instead of the”WTF are you doing?” speech, plus she’s the only one not to have a bad dinner service yet (last episode was her worst and it was because Phlegmenza and Robyn sucked), PLUS she’s the hot girl of the season, who as a group (Heather, Virginia, Bonnie, Christina S4, Paula, Holli) have made up a third of all the finalists in the series’ history, I think Dana is a shoo-in for the f2. Probably her and Justin.

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