Hell’s Kitchen Recap: Solidarity. Or not.

Recaps

By BlueCanary | Wednesday, August 15, 2012 | 1:45 pm | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Hell's Kitchen, Recaps

During dinner service, Gordon informs the group that not only will they work as a single unit, they’ll be competing against another team. And that team will consist of

 

Michael Myers?

No, just a few previous Hell’s Kitchen contestants: Russell, whom Christina seems to hate, to the degree that she hopes his station burns down; Jay, whom Dana hates; Kevin, who intimidates Clemenza; Paula, whom Robyn loves and threatens with employment application; and Bonnie and Virginia, neither of whom spark any reaction from anyone. Russell starts talking smack and Justin gets antagonized, determined to prove how amazing they are in the kitchen. Everyone is raring to go, and the fires have been lit under our current contestants’ asses. Christina and Clemenza are pumped for victory, and James opens wide those doors.

The Returning Chefs are going strong out of the gate, churning out the appetizers with no problem. Probably because they’re professionals, who know how to work in a kitchen. Meanwhile, the Black team has Robyn, who can’t manage to correctly dress a salad on the first try. Jesus H. Then she and Clemenza join forces to cook some unnecessary spaghetti that hasn’t been ordered, and the Returning Chefs are just giggling in the other kitchen while Gordon has a meltdown. They manage to move on to entrees, and Barbie starts doing her thing, rallying the troops into line. She’s very good at that, probably better than anyone else, and I think that’s going to put her in the top three, at the very least. The other kitchen has moved to entrees as well, and they hit they’re first snag when Jay serves up over-peppered bass. Kevin jumps on his station and saves things before it gets out of control. And that’s about the only issue they have.

Snooze. Also, way to be edgy with the Manic Panic. Takes me back to ’93.

Barbie has gotten the Black team rolling and entrees are going out, but there seems to be some issue with communication and timing, especially on Dana’s fish station. She’s running a bit behind, but doesn’t want help from Clemenza and Robyn because she doesn’t trust them not to fuck things up. I can’t say I blame her. Gordon forces her to accept their help, and it’ll probably help set the mood if you just picture Dana yelling absolutely every word she says for the rest of the episode. Sure enough, Clemenza ruins the scallops. Ever more scallops dying in vain for this show. Gordon yells at them and Dana kicks Clemenza off scallop duty and puts Robyn on the next batch. That’s really just a crapshoot.

The girl is hanging on by a very thin thread.

In the RC kitchen, Russell isn’t helping matters much. He keeps calling all the female chefs Sweetheart, like he’s a drunken Hunger Games mentor. The excuse that he’s from the South doesn’t hold, because if I remember correctly, Kimmie just called everyone Bitch. They don’t let it cramp their style, though, and the food continues to leave the kitchen. See, this is how professionals work—tell each other to shut the hell up, while barely raising their eyes from the task at hand.

“I swear, the fish was THIS BIG.”

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BlueCanary is as unorthodox a blend of optimistic and bitter, laid-back and anxious, motivated and straight up lazy tas one is likely to meet outside an unspecified institution. She spent the past decade holding a variety of job titles, including reporter, tech writer, production manager, and administrative assistant (the go-to job in this economy for folks who just HAD to get that English degree). She is currently living under the tiny yet powerful thumb of an awesome, pint-sized little dude, who wets himself and can't form full sentences (read: stay at home mom). Another tyrannical little thumb is gestating in her womb. She is a regular on The Neutral Corner podcast and blogs at www.mamamuzzle.com. 

Blue's as-yet-unpublished YA novel, The Nature of Echoes, is currently a Quarterfinalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. If you'd like to check it out, a free excerpt is available to download at http://www.amazon.com/Nature-Echoes-ABNA-Entry-ebook/dp/B00B9N3XFQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1363378599&sr=1-1&keywords=eva+gibson+abna.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    michkabibbles
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    oh barbie, i have missed your face(s).

  2. 2
    Leto
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    I smell Barbie (no, that’s not racist), Christina, and Justin in final 3. Unless one of those 3 royally fuck up. Justin is getting so douchy that I almost like Dana better. But it was fun to see him getting shirts as reward for his sexism, thay’re just a nightmare to iron. Serves him right :D .

    Can’t wait for a Robynfree show. (and I giggled like a crazy person to your mike myers caption. The Barbie Face is just priceless with it)

  3. 3
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    @Leto, I saw this French joke the other day and I thought of you. I even claim that because it has a potato in it that it is NOT off topic.

    A farm youth from mid-America who had never traveled out of his county before was walking along a beach in France on his first foreign holiday.

    There were many beautiful women lying in the sun. Many were topless, and he really wanted to meet one. But try as he might, the women didn’t seem to be at all interested.

    Finally, as a last resort, he walked up to a French guy lying on the beach who was surrounded by adoring women.

    “Excuse me” he said, taking the guy aside “but I’ve been trying to meet one of these women for about an hour now, and I just can’t seem to get anywhere with them. You’re French. You know these women. What do they want?”

    “Maybe I can help a leetle beet” says the Frenchman. “What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way”.

    “Wow! Thanks!” said the young fellow and off he went to the store.

    He bought a skimpy red bathing suit, put it on, and went back to the beach. He paraded up and down the beach but still had no luck with the ladies. So he went back to the Frenchman. “I’m sorry to bother you again” he said “but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven’t been able to meet a girl”.

    “Okay” says the Frenchman “I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way”.

    “Thanks!” he said, and he ran off to the store.

    He bought the potato, put it in the swimsuit, and marched up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walked but the women would hardly even look at him. After half an hour he couldn’t take it anymore and went back to the Frenchman.

    “Look buddy” he said “I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach and still nothing!

    What more can I do?”

    “Well” said the Frenchman “maybe I can help you a leetle beet.

    Why don’t you try moving zee potato to the FRONT of zee sweeming suit?”

  4. 4
    Leto
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    @Crankyguy: I know that joke xD. A guy named Villemin who draw “comics” of more or less dirty jokes did that one. He draws very ugly people, with very, very gross language, it’s hilarious.

  5. 5
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    I’m totally a cheesesteak munching mofo. Provolone-whiz-with, baby!

    However, I don’t know how to MAKE them very well.

  6. 6
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    Also,

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That is all.

  7. 7
    Josh Darius
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Horseradish, really horseradish? And they won of course.

  8. 8
    WishICouldDance
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    CrankyGur!!! You are now on my “S” list and that is NOT the Special List!!!! >: (

    You joke stuck the image of…. Clemenza in a Speedo front and center in my brain!! Potato and all!!

    Nooooooooooo!!! It took me all night to erase the Jet Ski incident – ewww! Creep much, Clemenza? – now I have this. :” (

  9. 9
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Feta mousse sounds delicious.

  10. 10
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    So, riddle me this: why does Gordon always seem so surprised (6 times surprised) when Clemenza gets nominated? He did it again on this episode. To me, Robyn and Clemenza were the logical 2 choices.

    Does anyone think he was expecting Dana to be nominated?

  11. 11
    featherhead
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    Barbie didn’t even let Ramsay lift up the lid on his dish, she grabbed it out of his hand and pushed him aside. The WTF look on Gordon’s face was priceless!

  12. 12
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    Ugh, would people please stop putting Ludo on t.v..

    Finally!

  13. 13
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    I was wondering how the guy (Quinn) from Hatfields was roped into it – then I watched Masterchef – which took place at Hatfields… My guess is it was a twofer for the restaurant – if you want Masterchef, you gotta do a Hell’s Kitchen spot for me!

  14. 14
    nashuaf
    Posted August 18, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Can someone please just explain to me how it is that every person on this show smokes? How can they taste anything???

  15. 15
    Prozach
    Posted August 18, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    @nashuaf I don’t think Dana smokes, but she’d be the first that’s for sure

    Speaking of which, considering that Gordon gave her the “take control” instead of the”WTF are you doing?” speech, plus she’s the only one not to have a bad dinner service yet (last episode was her worst and it was because Phlegmenza and Robyn sucked), PLUS she’s the hot girl of the season, who as a group (Heather, Virginia, Bonnie, Christina S4, Paula, Holli) have made up a third of all the finalists in the series’ history, I think Dana is a shoo-in for the f2. Probably her and Justin.

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