Anyway, Dana is stoked, and she’ll get her recipe featured on epicurious.com. Wow, that’s kind of a big deal. Anyone brave enough to make it? Robyn throws a “nice job, Dana” over her shoulder, which doesn’t sound insincere, bitter, or cunty at all. She says it sucks losing because it was so close. Was it really? Doubtful. The Red team, finally off their losing streak, gets to have a photo shoot with Gordon and Tanya, then have lunch at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. Barbie nearly has a heart attack. And here’s something I thought was interesting: usually the Red team turns on the contestant who lost her heat and the confessional smack-talk goes on for about five minutes, but I noticed that no one said a damn word about Christina’s loss. Maybe it was because the team won overall, or maybe because she doesn’t have any real enemies, but I didn’t hear even one “Christina, you dumb ignorant cooze” out of anyone. If it had been Barbie losing her heat, Kimmie would’ve instantly gone on a rant about how Barbie needs to get her bitch ass home. Hm.
The Blue team, meanwhile, has to prep both kitchens for a service that features a new Southern menu. They also get to bake bread and churn fresh butter by hand. Scott lines their asses up with some churns, and we get all sorts of visuals I believe we could’ve happily gone to all our graves without.
This show is trash.
The girls get cleaned up and aren’t looking half bad, though Kimmie is uncomfortable because she isn’t used to wearing makeup. I never would’ve guessed. But when Gordon shows up, he’s all sweet and complimentary, and bordeline flirtatious.
He even charms the lesbian. Gordon must have that Beckham flair.
Because he’s sort of adorable, he gets away with it, and they all have a blast with the shoot. Then they go to eat, all gussied up, while the Blue kitchen slowly overflows with grunts and handjob implications. Please note that Brian seems perfectly in his element, which is actually pretty consistent, considering he’s been aroused on more than one occasion by various ingredients.
That’s a really bad angle for Justin, too. Seriously.
But even an elegant lunch can’t smooth out things on that prickly Red team, because Barbie spends much of the meal giving Dana a complete “eat shit” glare. Dana’s offense? She mentioned that her sweet potatoes were awesome. And that warrants so much animosity? Those girls need to grow the fuck up. Barbie, you’ve rarely been the cause of drama on that team, even when they try as hard as they can to pin it on you, so don’t start now.
I can’t fault her faces, though. She really is the queen of those.