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It’s me again! Fox aired only one episode last week, so we’re picking up where I left off last Monday, with the Red team’s excellent dinner service leading to Royce’s glorious departure. Clemenza was also on the chopping block, but Robyn, of all people, seemed to find her footing on the Blue team. Tiffany still acted like loud, abrasive trash, though, so rest assured it’s not totally opposite day in Hell’s Kitchen. Hey, at least Royce is gone!
This week, we open with Gordon making a fat joke about Clemenza—he says his dirty chef jacket is big enough to rig to a boat and use to sail across the Atlantic. Kimmie laughs hardest at that, and she’s allowed, since her jacket is just as big, if not bigger. I like how neither she nor Clemenza seem to give a crap about being fat—they’re the first ones to admit it, the first ones to crack jokes, and it’s not like we’ve seen either of them cutting calories, so I’m going to assume they’re cool with being heavy. It’s good to see people comfortable in their own large skins.
Robyn, proving that she’s as short on common sense as she ever has been, scurries up to Clemenza and asks him to lead the team. You know, since he just barely squeaked by in elimination, he’s the natural choice for a strong team leader. Her latching onto Clemenza probably has more to do with the fact that Clemenza is one of the only people on the show who doesn’t openly hate her, because she confides that she’s scared about going home and needs someone in her corner. Brian is clearly not interested in being her buddy, and Justin could give a shit.
She feeds Clemenza this line of bullshit about how she sees him as a mentor of sorts, but he knows she’s angling for a brown nose. At elimination, she picked him over Royce as the person who should go home, and it’s not like that didn’t JUST HAPPEN, so I bet he remembers it, Robyn. Dumbass. He decides to play her game, so let me go ahead and predict that he will eventually turn on her and she’ll cry about how she can’t trust anyone and the world is against her. Robyn, you truly are your own worst enemy. I’m not even sure if I should pity you or not, since you obviously bring so much negativity on yourself, then immediately forget anything happened, leaving yourself wallowing in the fallout of your own stupidity.
The Red team is familiar enough with Robyn to know she’s kissing Clemenza’s ass without even having to be in earshot. And because we can’t go more than about fifteen seconds without a Red team member getting in some kind of argument with whomever, Tiffany approaches Brian to sort out their differences. When the Red team was sent to help out the Blue kitchen during dinner service, Tiffany yelled at Brian and invaded his space, which rightfully antagonized him. And now that he’s confronting her about it, she’s suddenly a professional chef! It’s not about you, Brian, it’s about the customer and the food. Because Tiffany cares deeply about both food quality and customer service, as evidenced by the time she licked a knife and stuck it in a Wellington. And the time she said children don’t count as customers. And the time she cooked the wrong fish and burnt the pizza and fucked up countless scallops and sliced things wrong and did sloppy work and screamed curse words in front of the diners and told Gordon she only gave nine fucks on a scale of ten. Tiffany’s standards are clearly the epitome of professional, and she’s not slack white trash in the least.