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Wednesday, July 18, 2012
1:00 pm
18 Comments
Tagged: back hair, competition, competitive eating, fox, funny, gordon ramsay, hell's kitchen, hell's kitchen recap, hilarious, history in the making, hot wings, Kimmie whines too damn much, rattail, recap, sarcastic, shirtless Clemenza, Shut up Robyn, snarky, stuck in the 80s, taste test challenge, tvgasm, waterpark fun
It’s me again! Fox aired only one episode last week, so we’re picking up where I left off last Monday, with the Red team’s excellent dinner service leading to Royce’s glorious departure. Clemenza was also on the chopping block, but Robyn, of all people, seemed to find her footing on the Blue team. Tiffany still acted like loud, abrasive trash, though, so rest assured it’s not totally opposite day in Hell’s Kitchen. Hey, at least Royce is gone!
This week, we open with Gordon making a fat joke about Clemenza—he says his dirty chef jacket is big enough to rig to a boat and use to sail across the Atlantic. Kimmie laughs hardest at that, and she’s allowed, since her jacket is just as big, if not bigger. I like how neither she nor Clemenza seem to give a crap about being fat—they’re the first ones to admit it, the first ones to crack jokes, and it’s not like we’ve seen either of them cutting calories, so I’m going to assume they’re cool with being heavy. It’s good to see people comfortable in their own large skins.
Robyn, proving that she’s as short on common sense as she ever has been, scurries up to Clemenza and asks him to lead the team. You know, since he just barely squeaked by in elimination, he’s the natural choice for a strong team leader. Her latching onto Clemenza probably has more to do with the fact that Clemenza is one of the only people on the show who doesn’t openly hate her, because she confides that she’s scared about going home and needs someone in her corner. Brian is clearly not interested in being her buddy, and Justin could give a shit.
In case anyone was wondering.
She feeds Clemenza this line of bullshit about how she sees him as a mentor of sorts, but he knows she’s angling for a brown nose. At elimination, she picked him over Royce as the person who should go home, and it’s not like that didn’t JUST HAPPEN, so I bet he remembers it, Robyn. Dumbass. He decides to play her game, so let me go ahead and predict that he will eventually turn on her and she’ll cry about how she can’t trust anyone and the world is against her. Robyn, you truly are your own worst enemy. I’m not even sure if I should pity you or not, since you obviously bring so much negativity on yourself, then immediately forget anything happened, leaving yourself wallowing in the fallout of your own stupidity.
The Red team is familiar enough with Robyn to know she’s kissing Clemenza’s ass without even having to be in earshot. And because we can’t go more than about fifteen seconds without a Red team member getting in some kind of argument with whomever, Tiffany approaches Brian to sort out their differences. When the Red team was sent to help out the Blue kitchen during dinner service, Tiffany yelled at Brian and invaded his space, which rightfully antagonized him. And now that he’s confronting her about it, she’s suddenly a professional chef! It’s not about you, Brian, it’s about the customer and the food. Because Tiffany cares deeply about both food quality and customer service, as evidenced by the time she licked a knife and stuck it in a Wellington. And the time she said children don’t count as customers. And the time she cooked the wrong fish and burnt the pizza and fucked up countless scallops and sliced things wrong and did sloppy work and screamed curse words in front of the diners and told Gordon she only gave nine fucks on a scale of ten. Tiffany’s standards are clearly the epitome of professional, and she’s not slack white trash in the least.
She’d be perfect as the new face of GORDON RAMSAY STEAK!!
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18 Comments
Kimmie, Kimmie, Kimme. Geez, girl, grow a pair. How is it that she can get all in your face confrontational, yet she’s scared of challenges? She keeps offering to sit out then stands on the sidelines muttering about how she could have done better. Then stop sitting out!
I love how nothing fazes Barbie. Call her names,get in her face, and she just keeps on rolling. The drama never seems to affect her food, which is the mark of a solid chef.
And Tiffany is just nasty. Please let me NEVER eat anywhere she’s worked. Or eaten. Or been anywhere near.
Fun fact: my local Walmart sells sunchokes. Raw, they make as passable substitute for water chestnuts.
When is competitive eating going to be an Olympic sport? Joey Chestnut represents everything that is wrong with America according to the protesters who gathered when he came to my town to compete against frat boys in a hamburger-eating contest at a local university sponsored by a regional fast food chain headquartered in the area. He stood for the wastefulness of capitalism and the social injustice against the struggle of starving masses in exploited, underdeveloped nations. I decided right then that he is my most favorite athlete in the whole world, and it pisses me off that he was not shown the same level of respect and adoration in Hell’s Kitchen that was lavished on David Beckham.
But, but, but….it was David (cue rainbows and unicorns) Beckham! Even lesbians think he’s hot!
@crankyguy-i don’t really understand the reasoning that eating competitions are an american mark of overconsumption-wasn’t there a while when all the champions were skinny japanese guys?
i have to say i love the faces that barbie makes. she’s so expressive of her complete derision of every other person there.
@ michkabibbles, pound for pound, that skinny Japanese dude is a greater champion than even my beloved Joey Chestnut. I was just relating what the protesters said, but I never claimed that they made any sense. They may have been associated with some radical vegetarian group, and possibly it was the hamburgers that set them off.
@crankyguy-i definitely got the sarcasm in your post!
i just didn’t understand the general public mentality relating eating contests to american materialism. especially since the japanese can outeat us all. i watched a hot dog eating contest on tv once, and saw a bit on someones training regimen (i hate to keep using the term skinny japanese guy, but i don’t remember his name)-it was kind of intense.
i don’t eat a lot of beef myself, but i can well understand how the smell could cause a riot.
the most wings i’ve ever eating in one sitting is 20, which i consider pretty good considering i had carbs for lunch that day.
The mussels thing with barbie would have pissed me of too, BUT it better be no frakking sand inside those, unless she’d like to be burned by Gordon. She was right to do it right rather than fast. The smoke break was a little too much though.
Kimmie’s lack of self confidence is really worse and worse, that’s too bad for her.
Christina is definetly my pony right now. And Dana still reminds me of Nellie Oleson. That woman scares me. Tiffany still is digusting, Robyn still is a crazy bitch, Brian still is funny, and Clemenza still is messy. Justin is getting annoying though, I hope he won’t fill the vacant “douchebag” seat Royce just left.
And I really don’t get the eating competitions. Not against, just don’t get the point of it.^^
If Tiffany keeps making the face she did in the first photo of her, we should make her the mascot of Gordon Ramsay Pork!
It was sooooo weird watching Tiffany and Ramsey to that ‘passion play’ at the end there. I paraphrase:
‘I’m so PASSIONATE about the food! I am so PASSIONATE about winning this and working for you-u-u!’ sniffle sniffle sob sob
‘I know you are but you just aren’t there yet!’ Ramsey responds gently
When ALL we’ve seen from Tiffany when Gordon isn’t looking (and even sometimes when he is) is ‘I don’t give a shit, whatever’.
That whole last moment was such a disconnect.
Side note: Is there some curse upon the name ‘Clemenza’? Because every real or fictional person I’ve ever seen named ‘Clemenza’ has been an enormous mouthbreather. I don’t hate them for that, it’s just a weird observation.
Great recap.
lmfao at that first picture of Tiffany! I can’t even finish reading the rest without making a comment!
hahah Im cracking up over here
“Tiffany says the eggplant is green beans, but mentions that it tastes more like soggy diaper.” This is a great line, don’t get me wrong. But I would love to know (well, not really) how Tiffany knows what a soggy diaper tastes like…
Still on team Barbie and Justin – would love to see Robyn leave next.
Thanks again for the great recaps!!
I’m actually rooting for Justin/Brian’s bromance. They seriously crack me up! I guess we can call them Brustin.
I used to be a huge Kimmie fan but she needs to get a backbone and quit the bitching.
I say the top two will be Justin (who is obviously a serious contender considering these past 2 episodes we actually got to see him talk) and Christina.
Dana annoys me because she always looks high, and don’t even get me started on Robyn! Seeing her face just makes my stomach turn.
Anyone else notice throughout the season that everytime shes in the interview room, Dana is yelling? Whats with that?
why is it on cooking shows that really fat guys are always slobs?? Have seen it repeatedly on here, Top Chef, etc. They always seem covered in crap and their workstations are filthy. ICK!!!
@ Andyourlittledogtoo — Tiffany totally cares! She cares a great big whopping 9 out of ten.
Kinda makes you wonder how she handles the things she only cares a 5 or 6 about…. That girl can half-ass doing something half-assed.
Ok, I am weird – I find Justin, rat tail included, kind of cute. I guess it is just the wall of fugly that I am being hit with on this show this season.
@LAC you’re not the only one. I find Justin surprisingly cute. But the rat tail has got to go!
Brian would be cute if he wasn’t so weird.