Hell’s Kitchen Recap: What? Clemenza’s Italian?

47 Comments

1. 1
   anniedawg25
   Posted August 23, 2012 at 10:58 am

   I was also relieved when I saw the Miss Teens were not teens at all….the way the guys were ogling them, I though for sure there would be a creepy incident. Then I thought to myself….these chicks were Miss Teens about 7 yrs ago…desperate for exposure much??

   Guess we can add “time to shine” to the reality phrases of doom…along with “throw under the bus” and ” I’m not here to make friends”

2. 2
   PopePhilly
   Posted August 23, 2012 at 11:18 am

   @anniedawg: I think they blew most of the budget on David Beckham and Sugar Ray Leonard and they only had enough left for former beauty queens. I still think it’s creepy that the guys lust over every remotely attractive woman who comes on the show. At least Brian wasn’t here for this!

3. 3
   timgunnssister
   Posted August 23, 2012 at 11:59 am

   So, this is the first time that Barbie’s been up where she actually might have made cooking errors, yes? Every other time it’s just because she was alive and breathing.

   Go Team Barbie!

4. 4
   Mummy Butterfly
   Posted August 23, 2012 at 12:00 pm

   I don’t know…IF I had ever been a beauty queen, I might enjoy the idea of sitting at home and getting a phone call asking if I wanted to come back for a guest spot on an awesome TV show. At least they aren’t whoring themselves out on “The Bachelor”!

   As for Barbie picking Justin – he DOES seem like a nice guy. I was pretty pissed at the others for pitching a fit when he made them dinner. A simple “thank you” is all that is required! (I would have slapped my children if they had pulled that kind of crap on me!)

   And Dana – PLEASE STOP SHOUTING IN A WEIRD MANNER! It just makes her seem stupid. I HATE it (almost as much as I disliked Robyn!).

5. 5
   BlueCanary
   Posted August 23, 2012 at 1:02 pm

   Clemenza’s Italian? That would’ve been nice to know while I was recapping the rest of this season. WHY DOES NO ONE TELL ME THINGS??

   And yeah, when they turned up their noses at Justin’s dinner, that was just wrong. He didn’t have to make them a damn thing. When someone makes you dinner, you say THANK YOU, and you eat it. Unless you’re allergic, or something. If I were Justin, I’d have told them to make some Ramen their damn selves.

   I will miss Clemenza, if for no other reason than he was always good for comic relief.

6. 6
   PopePhilly
   Posted August 23, 2012 at 2:07 pm

   @timgunnssister: I think so. There was one time where she screwed up scallops a lot in the beginning, but someone else had done infinitely worse. Other than that, it’s pretty much because “she’s annoying.”

   @Mummy Butterfly: “Hell’s Kitche” > “The Bachelor.” I’ll give the ladies credit for that…except for, like, Hillary. She is on my fecal roster.

   @BlueCanary: Sorry I didn’t bring you up to date on Clemenza’s ethnicity sooner. I’m a terrible counterpart. Don’t worry, though. We still have DANA and her weird vocal PATTERNS for comic RELIEF!

7. 7
   Prozach
   Posted August 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm

   Dana is the White Tennille

   “I love to TEACH! It’s what I DO! Teach people to COOK!” = “Su-ZANNE! You’re NOT a TEAM PLAYER!”

   If you can look past that though, she’s alright. Justin seems to have clinched a finale spot, though.

8. 8
   Chicken Lips
   Posted August 23, 2012 at 7:39 pm

   “He’s laughing so hard because he just imagined himself in a thong. ” I’m laughing so hard over this line because 1) it was just that freakin’ hilarious and 2) it’s funny that he’s laughing and not vomitting over the thought of him in a thong.

9. 9
   Jimbob Jones
   Posted August 23, 2012 at 9:34 pm

   ” I still think it’s creepy that the guys lust over every remotely attractive woman who comes on the show.”

   I don’t know — after a month or so of putting up with Robyn and Miss Screamsalot, I think any vaguely attractive woman that isn’t mentally deranged would seem like a goddess.

10. 10
    PopePhilly
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 6:59 am

    @Prozach: I have a feeling it will come down to Justin and Christina. They’ve both been relatively low drama and seem to consistently cooking well. It seems like they’re both getting a winner’s edit. I’m leaning more toward Christina since we don’t get much camera time with Justin.

    @Chicken Lips: Imagine how much clothing the material from a Clemenza thong could make! That should be a “Project Runway” challenge!

    @Jimbob: I’ll give you that. At least Brian wasn’t here anymore. Remember how he acted around every woman that he came into contact with? I still laugh about how he thought the personal shopper was flirting with him.

11. 11
    Leto
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    What a treat a Robynless episode is!
    I would love to see a Barbie/Christina finale, there never has been a feminine finale in HK.

    Oh, and would somebody be so kind and explain to me the kettle and pot joke? Didn’t understand that one ^^’.

12. 12
    PopePhilly
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    Hi, Leto! There is an expression that goes, “That’s the pot calling the kettle black!” It was best illustrated by Robyn when she’d accuse people of not being a team player.

    My favorite variation of the expression is, “Hey, pot. There’s a phone call for you. It’s the kettle. He says you’re black!”

13. 13
    Leto
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    oh, okay ^^
    In french we say “c’est l’hôpital qui se fout de la charité” (that’s the hospital making fun of charity).
    I like the pot and kettle version though, and your variation is delightfully absurd

    Thanks for enhancing my knowledge, expressions are always difficult to understand

14. 14
    Sharon
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    Well, the smarminess level is gone from the show now. Until the last episode at least, when various levels of human smarm will return to aid someone in losing.
    So many of them that have been eliminated have been so abysmal in the kitchen, I think we will see a winner in SPITE of they help on the last show instead of because of the help.
    I don’t know which is more annoying, Dana’s voice in her TH, or the idiotic look on her face while she is talking.
    If Dana is eliminated next week, the next show should be pretty clam. Christina, Barbie, and Justin have all been pretty cool with each other.
    I am wondering if next week the surprise is their families?

15. 15
    Sharon
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    OMG! My typos are getting worse every day.
    CALM CALM CALM
    not clam….

    Also, take that “y” off the word “they”

    That is all.

    Thank you.

16. 16
    PopePhilly
    Posted August 24, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    @Leto: I like the hospital saying! I’m always happy that you can teach me different things. I even tell people that French braids are called “African braids” in France. That’s my favorite fun fact!

    @Sharon: If Justin gets kicked out, then it really WILL be clam!

17. 17
    Leto
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 3:41 am

    @Pope: it’s really nice, on most American based forums people are borderline insulting when you say you’re french. I think we are all dangerous communists or something ^^.
    So thanks for being so nice here (and that goes for everyone here )

    Another fun fact for you : “French toast” is called “pain perdu” (lost bread), because we actually make it with stale bread.

18. 18
    PopePhilly
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    @Leto: Wait, you’re NOT a dangerous communist? I can’t speak for everyone else here, but that assumption was why I thought you were awesome!

    Next time I go to the diner for breakfast, I’m going to order “lost bread.” Thanks again for all the fun facts. I love random stuff like that.

19. 19
    crankyguy
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    I saw an All in the Family episode with Archie caught in a stalled elevator with a Puerto Rican couple and a sophisticated, expensively dressed black guy. The black guy told the couple that “you people” have way too many children (the wife was in labor in the elevator). Archie told him that was a case of the black calling the kettle, pot.

20. 20
    crankyguy
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    @Leto, I knew that French toast was lost bread, but I had no idea why. I thought maybe because the bread got “lost” in the egg wash. The stale bread never occurred to me.

21. 21
    Leto
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    @crankyguy : it was originally a farmer’s dish. French bread like baguette become VERY dry and hard when it stales, so to not waste food (because farmers were extremely poor) they put it in milk and eggs to soften and enhance it. In France dairy products are pretty cheap.
    Because of that it always makes me laugh when I see contestants in food shows making very fancy french toast with strawberries (which are very expensive here), foam or whatever.
    Pain perdu is stale bread, milk, eggs, and sugar if you have a sweet tooth. And it’s cooked in BUTTER, not oil like I saw I don’t remember who doing in a top chef season :p.

    @Pope : In the first round of the presidential elections, I actually voted for Jean Luc Mélenchon (I won’t explain his political views here, he has a wikipedia page) so don’t worry, that probably make me a dangerous communist
    I’ll think about some more fun facts for you before the end of HK. Are there other stuff you call “french” aside from braids, toasts and kisses? :p

22. 22
    PopePhilly
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    @Leto: I recently that “French fries” refers to the way the potatoes are cut, not France. That was my fun fact for a while. The only other thing I can think of is a “French manicure.” I think that one could just be Americans trying to sound more sophisticated than we are.

    For what it’s worth, you are officially my favorite dangerous communist!

23. 23
    crankyguy
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    French horn
    French cuff
    French tickler
    French dressing
    French curve — a drafting (drawing) tool used in the T-square days

    My first year of college, everybody had to take an “appreciation” course that was either art, music or something else that I can’t remember. I took music and the teacher played the French horn, except he hated the term French horn and made a big deal out of saying we were to call it simply the horn, never the French horn.

24. 24
    featherhead
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    @Leroy – when we Americans got mad at the French, we changed the name French Fries to Freedom Fries. But it never stuck.

25. 25
    sheesh
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    French tickler…heh.

26. 26
    featherhead
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    My comment above was to Leto, dumb autocorrect!! I forgot the French Twist and the French knot, both hair styles.

27. 27
    PopePhilly
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    @crankyguy: I agree with sheesh. French tickler! Ha!

    Also, I’m going to have to ask some of my (French) horn playing friends if calling it only a horn is a thing or just something your music teacher hated.

28. 28
    crankyguy
    Posted August 25, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    I’m going to have to ask some of my (French) horn playing friends if calling it only a horn is a thing or just something your music teacher hated.

    Please do that. I’d like to know. He really had a bug up his ass about it.

29. 29
    Leto
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 6:47 am

    so, out of all that only 2 things funny :

    We actually call the french manicure “french manucure” (with the big french accent on the world “french” of course)
    The French Curve is called a Perroquet (parrot) or a pistolet (gun). And the French twist, we call it “chignon banane” (banana bun). That makes me hungry.

    About the other stuff, nothing funny or unusual, french horn is “cor d’harmonie” (harmony horn, but i guess that was obvious), french cuffs are “boutons de manchette” (cuff buttons) , french dressing is “vinaigrette”, and I don’t believe we have a specific word for french tickler :p. I guess we just call it texturized condoms or whatever. ^^’

30. 30
    PopePhilly
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 7:43 am

    @crankyguy: One of my music teacher friends gave me this information –

    “The International Horn Society decided to drop ‘French’ from the name in the 70s. It has more English than French roots anyway.”

    However, it was decided that your former teacher did have a bug up his ass about it.

31. 31
    crankyguy
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 8:40 am

    @Leto, what you call vinaigrette probably does not have much resemblance to what most Americans call “French dressing.” To most of us, it’s this stuff:

    http://www.amazon.com/Kraft-Dressing-16-Ounce-Plastic-Bottles/dp/B000E1HVYS

32. 32
    crankyguy
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 8:53 am

    @PopePhilly, thanks for the French horn information. I don’t know why some teachers pick these trivial little points to upset themselves with. I had an English teacher in high school whose appearance was frighteningly like Honey Boo Boo’s mom, June, except she was older and uglier, and whose mission in life was to stamp out the ending of sentences with prepositions. This is something I do all the time and take a certain perverse pleasure in.

33. 33
    Leto
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 11:17 am

    @crankyguy : I see, I don’t think this kind of stuff exists in France, I never saw it anywhere. We use mostly vinaigrette (vinegar, oil and mustard) in salads, and mayonnaise or ketchup in other stuff.

    We have something called “sauce américaine” based on white wine and seafood, to eat with fish. It has nothing stictly american in it so I guess it’s just a fancy name.

34. 34
    crankyguy
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    We use mostly vinaigrette (vinegar, oil and mustard) in salads

    I assume that means that you whisk up your own vinaigrette rather than buying it ready-made in a bottle. I rarely use bottled dressings myself, but the closest thing to vinaigrette that people buy here is called “Italian dressing.”

    Until recently, “vinaigrette” was not even part of the name. It used to be just “Kraft Italian Dressing” and of course they use much less than the best quality oil:

    http://www.kraftrecipes.com/Products/ProductInfoDisplay.aspx?SiteId=1&Product=2100068273

35. 35
    fancyface
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    I’m confused. How would Barbie getting sent home start a racism thread? I’m sure we’re smart enough to know when someone is sent home for having a horrible night regardless of what color they are, so I don’t get that line.

    Anyhoo…great recap & this French convo is funny yet very informative lol

36. 36
    roger
    Posted August 26, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    french kiss

37. 37
    Leto
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 2:47 am

    @Crankyguy : I tend to buy a bottle at the beginning of summer, I live in a town where temperatures go easily over 85°F in july and august so we eat A LOT of salad I’m just too lazy to whisk it everyday. I looked at the ingredients of French dressing on the Kraft site, and we may have a sauce that looks like it : Sauce Bourguignonne. It’s a bechamel based sauce with red wine, tomatoes and onions in it and we eat it with red meat. (“Bourguignonne” means from Bourgogne, a french region famous for it’s wine… and snails ^^’)

    @Fancyface : Before the Olympics a guy came here, basically insulting and accusing of racism everyone who thought that Barbie had a bit of an attitude, or wasn’t Perfect, or that maybe there was a reason for the treatment she gets from the other girls. He’s actually the reason for all the “french convo”, ’cause I lost my cool in french so he would be busy translating it
    Sadly I don’t think he bothered, already busy that he was ranting about slaves and horrible white people and whatever.

38. 38
    fancyface
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 6:38 am

    @Leto…Ah, thanks for the explanation. Although how I missed that shit show I’ll never know! I guess that happens when you get behind on a show, come to read recaps, & skip the comments. NEVA AGAIN! lol

39. 39
    crankyguy
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 10:25 am

    @Leto, I’m glad you know something that resembles Kraft French Dressing because I always wondered what the marketeers at Kraft thought was “French” about it. This stuff was really, really popular in the United States during the 1950s apparently, since I like to look at old magazines online from that era. Campbell’s Soup Company ran an ad in the 50s with a recipe for it that I copied down and tried, and comes it out exactly like Kraft French Dressing:

    Tomato-French Dressing (non-separating)

    1 tablespoon yellow dry mustard
    1 teaspoon salt
    3 tablespoons sugar
    1/8 teaspoon black pepper
    1 tablespoon grated onion
    1 cup oil (olive or salad)
    1/2 cup vinegar
    1/2 can Campbell’s Tomato Soup

    Instead of using their directions, I just dumped everything except the oil in a blender and whizzed it up. Then I let the machine run while drizzling in the oil through the top as if making mayonnaise. I didn’t want to waste any good olive oil, so I just used canola oil.

40. 40
    Moli
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    WTF… tonight’s elimination…WTF!

41. 41
    PopePhilly
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    Looks like BlueCanary may be getting a visit from Zorro.

42. 42
    Moli
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    I agree@PopeP

43. 43
    Sharon
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 8:20 pm

    Leto, I don’t know about the communist part, but…. do not act like you are not dangerous! Girl, you have a very wicked sense of humor and you have made me laugh more than once.

44. 44
    SuburBint
    Posted August 27, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    @ Leto — Completely off topic, however: my 14 year-old is taking French in high school this year, and although I took it in high school and college (and not to toot my own non-French horn, but I was fairly awesome at it and apparently have a decent accent) I am a wee bit rusty on a few things. Would you mind terribly if we e-mailed you if she has a question or needs help? She isn’t the sort to try and weasel out of doing her own work, but she does often have questions about why things are phrased a certain way or where particular idioms come from. If you’re cool with that, you can email me at SuburBint@gmail.com. If you aren’t, I’ll just chalk it up to the fact that you’re a dangerous communist. And regardless of your response, I really enjoy reading your comments and am glad that you’re here!

45. 45
    Leto
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 3:28 am

    Thank you guys you are so sweet

    @SuburBint : Just sent you an email

    And by the way, if anyone want to contact me, it’s letoanor at gmail. I’m a sucker for new friends :p

    @Crankyguy : Your receipe sounds yummy, how many oz is there in a tomato soup can? I want to try that with my steacks

46. 46
    Leto
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 3:30 am

    (omg I need to calm down with the emotes, my post looks like one of a 16 year-old)

47. 47
    crankyguy
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:05 am

    @Leto, I did a little more research on Kraft French Dressing. Kraft entered the bottled salad dressing market in 1925 and this “French” dressing was their first flavor.

    As to how many oz there are in a can of tomato soup, I know how many there are NOW, but I don’t know how many there were in the 1950s because most all packagers of food have been gradually reducing the sizes of their cans and boxes over the years as a sneaky way to raise prices. A pound of coffee really used to be a pound of coffee, but now it’s 11 oz by weight.

    I also read that they reduced the sodium by 25% in 2009. Anyway, the current size of a Campbell’s condensed tomato soup can is 10 fluid oz. or about 300 ml by volume which holds 10.75 oz. by weight. When I made this I scooped out about half a can of the condensed soup and the finished dressing tasted fine despite what changes have been made over sixty years to the size and recipe of the soup.