Hollywood Exes Recap: Beyond the Pain

Well Hellloooooo! Welcome to the Season Finale of Hollywood Exes. Yes it’s over…sigh, of relief or sadness, you choose. 

 We start the show with Mayte nervously awaiting the phone call from her agent with word of whether she got the part in the movie. She did. Next.

Sheree is actually seen with her husband. She just doesn’t want to move to San Diego, and thinks that taking him to a Harley shop will buy her some time. He shows her the bike he wants and she instantly shows the love and support that a wife does with the comment ” what the hell? it’s the littlest bike in here.” Way to buy you some time Sheree. She then finds a bright yellow bike she likes and considers it for herself. Again, way to buy you some time. She walks out with the preacher saying “aren’t I a good wife, letting you walk into a bike shop.” Hmmmm We think he’s a good husband for letting you live in LA.

Drea is walking into a tattoo parlor and wants to get her back tatoo altered. She had her exes name tattooed on her shoulder blades with wings as a symbol that they would always have each others back. That’s always a good idea. Can someone please let us know if there is ever a couple that stays together after permanently putting each others name on themselves.. Seriously, we can’t think of 1 person. Anyway luckily enough for Drea, her son is a Jr. so this may be an easy fix.  She decides to add Jr. under her wings (we would like to point out here that she has 2 other kids that get no skin time.) She is making such a big deal about this tattoo we have note that the tattoo artist was not amused. His looks of disgust and annoyance made this worth it for us. Drea the emotional being she is needs the support of her BFF Mayte. Mayte shows up to hold her hand and Drea seriously loses her shit over a love dot. The tattoo took 2 seconds. We’ve peed longer. Drea apparently needs a tattoo alteration to finally feel divorced. We guess the alimony checks don’t do it for her.

Nicole is with Sheree at a jewelry shop trying to find a wedding band for herself. Sheree asks if Nicole has a budget. Nicole says her fiance doesn’t even know she is looking. Now that he is the new Mr. Regis Philbin we think it’ll be a nice big budget. While Nicole looks at gorgeous rings Sheree decides to lecture her with the importance of marriage. “It’s a big deal! It’s til death do us part.” Hold the phone. Isn’t this show called Hollywood Exes? Did you die the first time around Sheree? Is it the 405 til us part?

Drea is still planning her big showcase and wants all the girls to be a part of it. She shows them the choreography and Sheree doesn’t get the counting. That’s ok girl. Just stick with making the whoop ash.

God doesn’t make me count.

Drea shows up to Mayte’s house with bubble wrap and boxes. Looks like the Prince china is getting the big heave-ho. It’s therapeutic plus we think it’ll be a good reason to go shopping! Mayte says “maybe I should put it on ebay.” Uh hello!!!!! YES!!!! We will take 2 teacups and some dinner plates!

It’s a wrap!

Jessica and Sheree are taking a walk discussing their summer plans when Jessica’s phone rings. It’s her ex, king of all douches, Jose. We haven’t heard much from him since he decided to say “screw you” to his child and move to Boston to play baseball. He’s now  come to realize he’s old and will never probably play baseball again (no kidding)  and is now ready to move in with them after all. Jessica is stunned into silence, a first. 

Translation-I’m Broke

Jessica tells Jose that she already agreed to him moving in, but he chose to go to Boston. She starts to cry, we mean ugly cry, and Sheree starts to cry too. Wait, is Jose moving in with Sheree as well? Why is she crying? Jessica tells Jose she needs a few days to think about this and will call him back. OMG!!! We had like 8 episodes of her FINALLY getting to the realization that he’s not a good person and now here he comes waltzing back into her life. WHAT AN ASSHOLE! We hate him and hope he gets into a non-fatal car accident (non-fatal is our way of feeling better about that comment.)

The Day of the showcase has arrived! Drea amazingly found a beautiful theatre at the last minute…. yeah we are sure the show had nothing to do with finding the locale. The rest of the girls show up  and rehearse  their performance. During the run through Drea is doing a release with her partner and BOOM! She slams her foot on the ground and is rolling around crying and moaning. Drea is obviously in pain and will not let anyone touch it. Sheree starts praying the pain away while the ambulance rolls up. The paramedics want to take her to the hospital but Drea puts her foot down (get it) and says NO!!!! THE SHOW MUST GO ON!!! Mayte asks if the paramedics can wheel Drea up to her room. Yep, our tax dollars at work. 

I’m Broke Down but Fabulous! 

Drea is crying in the back room in so much pain that OUR feet start to hurt. Where’s our champagne to make us feel better? Nicole comes in trying to make Drea smile by bringing a special gift. Nicole brings in Johnny Gill! OMGEEE! Is it 1992? Does he have a new record dropping? We haven’t heard from him in AGES! Seriously, it’s not like the New Edition Reunion is selling out nightly. 

I know where I stand

Drea finally decides that her foot is broken and she cannot perform. She does say she will stick around in support of her girls and because it’s her choreography.  How big of you Drea. The ladies do their routine and it’s simple but cute. 

The Stepford Ex-Wives

The ladies celebrate the showcase with what else? cocktails! They all give themselves a round of applause and are very proud of Drea for following her dream. They each tell the camera how they have a sisterhood,are good friends, and love each other. Drea finishes the show as she started it…. crying. 

 CHEERS!!!!!

Well that’s it Gasmii. Our extensive research (Wikipedia) says that there is a season 2 but again who knows. What did y’all think of the show? Does it deserve a 2nd season? Thanks for sticking with us. We have enjoyed being a part of your Wed nights!