This time we are trying something a little different. Instead of a traditional recap, I am going to combine a brief description of the episode and an investigative article I fashioned from your comments, internet rumors, and gossip.
This nontraditional recap is dedicated all of the commenters that passionately and devotedly (to the tune of over 300 comments!) in the last comment thread. That was a record for me and I thank you from the bottom of my snark-ilicious heart.
So here is a very quick recap of the episode, I’m Sassified:
The family is thinking about Alana’s next pageant. Sugar Bear and June are celebrating their anniversary and Sugar Bear hopes to get him some.
Yes, it’s a gross thought, the two of them doing anything remotely sexual to each other, completely put me off my cheese balls. The girls go to a spa in preparation. June and Alana get mother-daughter facials and June’s neck crust is not apparent. When the girls are getting their pedicures, June does not join in because of having a foot deformity. A forklift ran over her foot, or feet? Whether it was one or both feet, wasn’t clear – she simply refused to remove her socks.
I suspect that she hasn’t actually seen her feet first hand in a very long time and didn’t want to have to reveal them on television. So, the pedicurist paints her socks in the area where her toes are, presumably.
She and Sugar Bear have their anniversary date. Sugar Bear uses “smokeless tobacco,” and that accounts for why we are never allowed to see his teeth. We also learn that the two aren’t married – though it isn’t for lack of trying on his part.
Everyone except for Alana is really over Glitzy and they consider returning him. That is why I HATE it when people give pets to children as consolation prizes. Glitzy gets to be given to a 6 year old and traumatized by this new large family, along with a production crew (and their equipment), for a little while and then returned to his breeder. It’s not fair to him or Alana.
As for the anniversary dinner, Sugar Bear gave June what looked to be a bronzed baby dear for a present? Bought her 4 different desserts, and the girls TP’d the house in celebration. Luckily, there is plenty of toilet paper so the girls aren’t all that concerned about running out.
And, in pageant news, June has Alana try one of Alana’s older pageant dresses to see if it still fits and they can use it again. It doesn’t. It’s too tight and too short. So, they look at getting a new one made for her. But, what I love is that June tells her girls that pretty comes in all different sizes and it’s something that Alana has definitely taken to heart. Considering how I feel about childhood pageants, am I a hypocrite for wanting to see Alana win one?