This week, the family enjoys what’s left of the summer. Sugar Bear, who works 7 days a week, has taken some time off to enjoy being with the family since school and pageants will be starting up in a couple of weeks.
We start with a bit of pageant-related business. They are looking for a new hair piece for Alana and pay a visit to “Shh, It’s a Wig.” The family is very careful to pause between the “Shh” and the “It’s a wig” part. The owner, not so much. Every time she says the name, it sounds like “Shit’s a wig.”
They play around with a bunch of different wigs, and Sugar Bear causes me to giggle when he tries on a mullet.
He actually leaves the store with it. June, in all of her frumpy glory talks about how every wig in the store was a hot mess. They decide to keep looking. The owner of the store wins points when she tries to be diplomatic about interacting with this particular family, and can’t keep a straight face. She has to start over.
A couple of things happen in this scene, the first was Sugar Bear’s reaction to June in a blond wig. Let’s just say that there truly is someone for everyone in this world. He talks about how seeing her in that wig make him feel frisky and how he wants to jump her bones. I immediately gag. Because, as much as I love this family, my mind revolts at the thought of the two of them in any sort of sexual way.
The other thing that really stood out for me, is just how naturally pretty Alana is. I wonder why they don’t do more natural pageants (assuming that “natural” means without makeup) as she is beautiful sans makeup and I think makeup actually does her a disservice.
Also, I love how June describes the wigs as a hot mess while looking like this:
So, June and the girls discuss just how hot it is in Georgia during the summer. Having spent a summer or two in Macon, I can tell you it’s like sitting in a giant bowl of steam. There is no air movement and it’s impossible to describe just how uncomfortable it is. I know how impossible it is to describe, because I have tried numerous times and no one who hasn’t ever been to Macon during the summer, has ever truly gotten just how unbearable it is. The only place that I have ever been that was hotter in July was Columbus, Georgia. But, that may be because I was dumb enough to try to hike 5 miles with my (at the time) gentleman friend (who’s now my husband). Plus, I don’t weigh 300 pounds and never have, so I can just imagine how uncomfortable June is as she says that being “voluptuous” and the heat are two things that just don’t mix.