Hotel Hell Recap: Nasty Times Two

Recaps

By BlueCanary | Wednesday, September 5, 2012 | 1:57 pm | 18 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Hotel Hell, Recaps

Gordon thinks there’s something else going on, though, and he sits down with Kenny to ferret out the truth. Turns out, Kenny has borrowed money from his brother, and of course hasn’t paid it back. His brother is pissed, and his mother is as well, because he borrowed $15k from her as well. Both of them put their mortgages on the line, so if he fucks up, they could lose their houses. Hey, at least he’ll have plenty of empty rooms to move everyone into. But this is why I don’t lend large sums of money to people. That and I don’t really have any large sums to lend, of course.

The combined stress of his family issues and failing business is really wearing on him. Gordon says the place needs a woman’s touch, and Kenny says he doesn’t have a girlfriend because he’s been mired in his business. I guess Gordon thinks getting laid on the regular will help calm Kenny’s nerves, leading in turn to better décor. Any port in a storm, right Gordon? At least we know Kenny’s not directly responsible for that mess on the bedspread.

Next on Gordon’s list is bringing in Ramesh from Caesar’s Palace. Ramesh will train the staff to run the place properly, with a focus on customer satisfaction. Ramesh tackles that shit like a pro, and puts them through drills, making Kenny focus on smiling and greeting the guests like a human being.

This human being thing, it’s not going well.

These exercises are always awkward and cringe-worthy. Karen shows Kenny how it’s done, knocking that act out of the park on one shot. This clues Kenny in to the fact that he needs to stay the hell away from people and let his staff do what they do.

Gordon brings in stylist Barbie to give Kenny a makeover. After the unnecessary Barbie/Ken jokes peter out, she starts in on him, and Gordon hunts down the wifi signal to see the state of the place’s website.

“Let’s see…www.tvgasm.com…success!”

It sucks, of course, and is dated and crappy looking. Gordon knows that too many guests book rooms online to ignore that, and I checked—looks like they redid it entirely. Kenny shows off his makeover to the staff, and they approve. Then Gordon takes him to a bar, I guess in an attempt to get him some strange.

The ladies flock, and it’s clear that Gordon is their target, so he finagles everyone into coming to the River Rock for dinner, and they all toast the prospect of Kenny getting a girlfriend. Typically, the women surrounding them seem to be too young for him, and are probably a combination of Gordon fans and camera whore. That’s a terribly sad scene, when you’re so badly in need of some poontang it has to be publicly announced by Gordon Ramsay.

Gordon Ramsay: Unintentional cock-blocker

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BlueCanary is as unorthodox a blend of optimistic and bitter, laid-back and anxious, motivated and straight up lazy tas one is likely to meet outside an unspecified institution. She spent the past decade holding a variety of job titles, including reporter, tech writer, production manager, and administrative assistant (the go-to job in this economy for folks who just HAD to get that English degree). She is currently living under the tiny yet powerful thumb of an awesome, pint-sized little dude, who wets himself and can't form full sentences (read: stay at home mom). Another tyrannical little thumb is gestating in her womb. She is a regular on The Neutral Corner podcast and blogs at www.mamamuzzle.com. 

Blue's as-yet-unpublished YA novel, The Nature of Echoes, is currently a Quarterfinalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. If you'd like to check it out, a free excerpt is available to download at http://www.amazon.com/Nature-Echoes-ABNA-Entry-ebook/dp/B00B9N3XFQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1363378599&sr=1-1&keywords=eva+gibson+abna.

18 Comments

  1. 1
    Bobbi
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    Chef Ramsey, this show is so below you. Please keep your cooking shows going year round. I love Hell’s Kitchen and Master Chef and I’m hoping that Christine wins. Reason Josh was off the show, he comes back which I don’t think is fair and if he takes it then the show is surely fixed. I think it should have been Christine and Becky going for the title.

  2. 2
    Linda
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    Thanks for the fun recaps, BC!
    Anybody know what those glasses are that Gordon had people wear during the blacklight shots? What’s their purpose? Eye safety? Better vision of blacklight-revealing stains?

  3. 3
    michkabibbles
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    i wonder if tina can’t leave because she’s wrapped up in the loan for the school. if she got divorced would she be on the hook for half the debts? i’ve never been married and i’ve never bought anything bigger than a watermelon, so i’m not sure how these things work. i did wish she would clock him one though. ass is too light a word.
    loved your recaps, bluecanary!

  4. 4
    Dear Crabby
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    I loved how Tina said that before John was cold in the ground, she’d be headed back to Kentucky! There’s some real hatred there.

    I don’t see how he could have bought that without her unless it was just in his name – so perhaps the original debt is all his? The house and 401(k) money, though…that’s gotta hurt, especially as they are both staring down the barrel of the retirement shotgun.

    This guy was AWFUL and the violent streak he mentioned – that was really spooky. The “talk to the hand” was just so juvenile…unless he was playing a 12 year old girl in a play or something…which, perhaps he was?

    Great recap!

  5. 5
    KartofflMuter
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    Michkabibble-On those days when you’re married and not happy-like Tina-yes-it can be really,really a shitty place to be. Aside from divorce laws and custody-although Idaho-I have no idea,-Sherlock looks like he would be fairly dramatic in divorce court. Judges in Western states-well,most states,tend to think women are too emotional and caused the problems,men frequently play an interesting game -I think you might have notice a tiny bit of it-all daughter are “princesses” however the moms that produced them are hunchbacked drudges.The kids are played against the mom while sympathizing with “poor old dad.” If you notice-he charmed the guests-for $200. That’s not money. That’s petty cash. In a couple like this,the kids get older,the money disappears,the children escape,never to return. The friends either left years ago or were shooed off by the husband when they were in their 20′s. Control and isolate. Eventually,there is no one else, near,far,or even alive. Frankly,your choices are either hope for an early death for yourself or your spouse-if he’s kept his insurance up. Do you want to bet she reads a lot more murder mysteries than he does?

  6. 6
    Chef Pants
    Posted September 6, 2012 at 5:54 am

    Tina looks good for her age and I really think if she left asshole she would have a new guy with little effort.

  7. 7
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted September 6, 2012 at 6:58 am

    @Chef, never mind her having the new guy– frying pan/fire here, since it is GR’s show. I wonder what resources she has to leave him and strike out on her own, a frightening prospect for all to many married women.

    I wish the best for her and think that anything would be better than being shackeled to this nut job.

  8. 8
    kloewent
    Posted September 6, 2012 at 10:57 am

    I saw an article once where they disected the bedspreads in all these hotels, big, small, cheap and expensive and they are all filthy, from human stains, food, bug poo, bed bugs etc!! The sheets and blankets get washed more regularly, but they don’t clean the spreads very often because they usually need to be dry cleaned. The first thing I do in a hotel is throw the bedspread onto the floor. I won’t even put my suitcase on it!!! (the stains could have been club soda, that shows up under the lights! :-)

  9. 9
    annie anniedawg25
    Posted September 6, 2012 at 11:04 am

    Talk to the hand cuz Sherlock don’t give a damn!!

    Was that guy for real? What a nut job.

    I checked out reviews for the Roosevelt hotel on tripadvisor and shockingly, the reviews were really good…pre and post Ramsay. Lots of people seem to enjoy that place and had glowing reviews for everything…the owners, food , and rooms. Even more shocking, the reviews seemed to be legit, not written by fake accounts written by John himself. either that place wasn’t as bad as Hotel Hell made it seem…..or John is a brainwasher when he’s not an innkeeper (or Sherlock)

  10. 10
    KartofflMuter
    Posted September 6, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    I haven’t trusted the linens in a hotel since seeing CSI and Monk,but this June we stayed in an $80 a night room off the freeway that was more than clever. Is anyone else running into this as well? White pillow cases,white sheets white duvet covers -and at the foot of the bed, a burgandy chenille throw about 30″ wide. It gives color to the room but nobody does much “to” it. It’s easy to bleach and wash white’s only. I did spill vermillion on the bed so I know they changed the linens. European hotels don’t use bedspreads. They give you lovely feather beds and comforters and hang the linens out the window.

  11. 11
    unwise
    Posted September 7, 2012 at 9:08 am

    Great recap as always Blue Canary! I found an article that goes behind the scenes at the Roosevelt with John and Tina. It’s a pretty big article in a local paper and there is all kinds of background and behind the scenes info. It addresses John’s violent past as well. I almost wish I hadn’t read it because it kind of spoils the whole TV magic stuff. Of course John and Tina insist that they were set up and it is staged but John said all that stuff and they didn’t make him do it. Here is the link to the article.

    http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2012/aug/29/hotel-hell-leaves-roosevelt-inn-owners-reeling/

  12. 12
    unwise
    Posted September 7, 2012 at 9:10 am

    These are for you, dear lady, as a thank you for that lovely section of carpet.

    And by the way that caption freaking made my day!

  13. 13
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 1:10 am

    @unwise, that article kind of makes me feel bad but not really, because who the fuck doesn’t pay their light bill to the tune of 3k+ and then threatens the light company guy for doing his job?
    And the fact that he had to be taken to the mental ward (which they then needed to pay for -___-) shows that he wasn’t just making normal threats. Like…clearly, he was saying some crazy ass shit.
    Like what we got a glimpse of when he offhandedly alluded to wanting to stab Gordon to death.
    The man needs help.

    And that ballroom is just unappealing to me no matter what they did. It looked better after, but even then, I would never want a wedding or reception in a room with no windows. Too much like being buried alive.

    I’m sad that the season is over already, but I’m glad it’s getting renewed. I can’t get enough of my sweet and salty Gordo.

    And thank you for the recaps, BlueCanary!!
    They were perfect and hilarious, as always. Enjoy your hiatus!

  14. 14
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 5:27 am

    @Chaos, agree completely! GR(rrrrrrrrrrr) has been on three shows this season, so now we have to go cold turkey? Yikes!!!

    Enjoy your spring and summer hiatus, BC. Looking forward to your next gig, and of course you will be commenting frequently I trust.

  15. 15
    BlueCanary
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 5:59 am

    You guys, thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed this season, short as it was. I’ve got one last finale episode of Hell’s Kitchen coming up this week, and then that’s it for me and for Gordon this fall, but we both shall return one day, so no worries!

    As for that article linked above (thanks for that by the way, unwise), I started reading it and felt a bit bad, until the details started coming out. Call me cynical, but I don’t think John was misrepresented whatsoever in that episode. It sounds like he nudged his sanity into a corner and left it there to die a long time ago, much as a dog will nudge a defective or runty puppy away from her healthy brood. And Tina’s very likely been enabling him for years, probably out of self-preservation. I’m sure it’s easier for her to shut her mouth and let him just rant it out until he tires than put up a fight and bring out the really scary shit. In any case, he’s been getting away with acting like a psycho to the point that he was ACTUALLY COMMITTED, but the problem is really just Gordon being too critical? No. I’ve known too many mentally ill people to buy that song and dance. The guy needs help way beyond his hotel linens.

  16. 16
    Unwise
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 10:29 am

    You’re welcome! I think they must have wanted to get out in front of it to do some damage control. Presumably that is their hometown paper and they probably wanted to save face a bit.

  17. 17
    Bobbi
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    I just wish Gordon Ramsey was on all year through…..I just love watching him and all his shows.

  18. 18
    Bobbi
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Just don’t let anything happen to my Gordon. I wish he were on all year….I just love his shows. Please hurry back Gordon, I will get the shakes without you. Make a new show for him.

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