Hotel Hell Recap: Scooter!

Recaps

By BlueCanary | Wednesday, August 22, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 20 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Hotel Hell, Recaps

She tells him the downstairs party is the place to be, and it’s working fine with him sequestered in a locked room. She actually seems to get through to him by invoking the prospects of free time and financial stability. Who knew that was all it would take? Hanging out with the mannequin has convinced John that he doesn’t want to spend his remaining years staring at the rotten ceiling, and he has an epiphany.

Well, fuck you, too! I didn’t want you to live here ANYWAY. –ceiling

After a successful night, Gordon gathers the staff and learns they made $1,400 in two hours, which is more than the past four days combined. John says Shay opened his eyes to a lot of things, and makes a big speech about how he needs to change. I’m guessing the reason Tina looks like he wants to kill John is because she’s been telling him the same shit for years, to no avail. Gordon warns everyone to brace themselves for tomorrow.

I never really thought of Gordon as an exhibitionist, but I’m starting to think the man took this job because he has some kind of unrealized desire to literally show his ass on TV. We’re treated to another pixilated bum, as he steps into the shower. Gotta bring the viewers in somehow.

Does the cameraman get paid extra to take these shots, or does he pay for the privilege?

The next morning, Gordon lets the staff into the recently locked front door and takes them up to look at his renovated guest room. He’s pulled up the carpet and installed a wood floor, changed the walls and décor, and upgraded all the linens in the hotel, to the tune of $75,000. That’s a lot of towels. Tina can hardly believe it. They see he’s redone all the rooms, and they all look much better and modern, while still retaining the antique charm. Then Gordon takes them downstairs to show them the room he transferred into a pie room. He’s giving them his own recipe and gotten them an ice cream maker, so they can stop serving sloppy bullshit and start serving something people want to eat. The irony of a Brit providing the Americans with their own signature pie recipe notwithstanding, everyone is stoked. And Scooter, bless his sweet, ambitious heart, is actually moved to tears.

He’s just so excited to cook real food!

Gordon gives him a big cuddle, and it’s just adorable. The staff seems much more proud and happy, and everyone is excited to work there. Business seems good that night and the pie is a hit. And now I want pie.

AND WHERE DID THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?!? THE DOOR WAS LOCKED! IT WAS LOCKED!

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BlueCanary is as unorthodox a blend of optimistic and bitter, laid-back and anxious, motivated and straight up lazy tas one is likely to meet outside an unspecified institution. She spent the past decade holding a variety of job titles, including reporter, tech writer, production manager, and administrative assistant (the go-to job in this economy for folks who just HAD to get that English degree). She is currently living under the tiny yet powerful thumb of an awesome, pint-sized little dude, who wets himself and can't form full sentences (read: stay at home mom). Another tyrannical little thumb is gestating in her womb. She is a regular on The Neutral Corner podcast and blogs at www.mamamuzzle.com. 

Blue's as-yet-unpublished YA novel, The Nature of Echoes, is currently a Quarterfinalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. If you'd like to check it out, a free excerpt is available to download at http://www.amazon.com/Nature-Echoes-ABNA-Entry-ebook/dp/B00B9N3XFQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1363378599&sr=1-1&keywords=eva+gibson+abna.

20 Comments

  1. 1
    spababe
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Good re-cap. I was sorry to hear that the hotel was foreclosed on. I hope that Gordon does help Scooter.

  2. 2
    kloewent
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    It was so funny that Rich kept saying the food was “sous-vide” and cooked to order when it was just boiled in a bag! I guess he thought he would impress Gordon with his fancy cooking skills. The other thing that made me laugh was the wife chowing down on the pie while Gordon when on about what crap it was!!! It did look gross, more like apple crumble than pie. And undercooked apples, come on! The ice cream was probably some grocery store no name ice cream too. I wish they had explained about the inventing of Pie ala Mode. How do you determine you were the first one to ever do it?

  3. 3
    cherryred
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    The daughter w/the $25k on the credit cards is the girlfriend/fiance of the chef, not the student.

  4. 4
    cherryred
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    http://blog.timesunion.com/tablehopping/30946/cambridge-hotel-in-foreclosure-due-to-be-auctioned/

    For it to be foreclosed and sold in June, it had to be in near foreclosure when Gordon was there. It’s a shame something so beautiful has been treated so badly.

  5. 5
    BlueCanary
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    @cherryred: Did I mix the two up? Crap. Thanks for the correction! You’re right, I just watched that clip again, and Shay isn’t the student. The student gave the 10k, but we don’t get her name. Still, that’s a student with $10k to lend. Good for her.

    And yeah, the sous-vide thing cracked me up–call it whatever fancy french name you want, but it’s still meat cooked in a plastic bag.

  6. 6
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    @BlueCanary You are in the zone today!

    “sprightly round of anal” is the very 1st cocktail I ever invented. Guaro and pineapple juice. With a splash of pomegranate. In a little sherry glass with a split kumquat stuck on.

    And There’s a difference between sounding positive and sounding full of crap went straight into my inspirational quotes file. So thanks x2! And some more for making me ROFL so much.

    I hope Scooter Bread turns up in all the stores. And Scooter Cake!

  7. 7
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    Scooter pie.

    Wow. That sounds dirty.

  8. 8
    Hol
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    Haha. Just started watching and have to say that is about the cheesiest title sequence I’ve seen in a long time

  9. 9
    BlueCanary
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    @krhxbai, I can’t take credit for the full of crap sentence–that’s a direct quote from Gordon. But the sprightly anal was all me. :)

  10. 10
    WishICouldDance
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Amen, sister, on the Scooter Show!! Love that kid!!

    GREAT recap! I’m wondering if we get to see nekkid Gordon in each episode?

    I felt so badly for the wife. I would probably left his controlling ass a LONG time before it got this bad. She just seemed so ashamed and worn out. She, the money loaning daughters and the cute little manager are the ones I feel badly for with the closing. And I’d say Scooter but… Yeah!! He’s doing great and on his way to paying back that loaf of bread!! Go Scooter!!!

  11. 11
    annie Annie
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    everytime I feel bad about my $60K student loan debt, I watch these show and suddenly things don’t seem too horrible…..WTF over $700,000 in debt? what the hell are they thinking?

    And yes, what’s with the Pie A-la-mode? Some backstory would been good. But that pie chillin’ next to some coleslaw lookin’ shit in the fridge with no plastic wrap sure didn’t help matters much.

  12. 12
    Unwise
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    “A sprightly round of anal”- the funniest 5 words I’ve ever seen in print.

    Gordon is tall but I find it so funny that he talks to nearly everyone who is shorter than him hunched over with his hands on his knees. It is oddly effective as a motivator though it seems.

    Great recap! You’re awesome!

  13. 13
    SuburBint
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    Do we know what branch of the military John served in? I’m guessing he was a Marine as they tend towards bull-headed persistence towards their goal regardless of the reality of their situation. Which is a good thing in a battle scenario; not so much when it comes to the hotel business.

  14. 14
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 12:53 am

    I choked on my juice hearing how much money these people sunk into that hotel. And all the money they borrowed from that student girl! I just finished being a student and I wish I had $10k to lend someone. I don’t think I’ve ever had that much money at one time in my life. She has to be a student by day and a drug kingpin/ legendary stripper/ sugar baby/ trophy wife by night because I just don’t see how that’s possible otherwise.
    It’s such a sad hot mess that they lost the business, because how will they pay back all that money?

    And the whole situation doesn’t make any sense. Like who the fuck buys a hotel because he wants dinner? He knows he was lying about that. And for Tina’s part, I call shenanigans on her moment of weakness excuse. Buying a hotel is not like buying a candybar….there’s a process involved. She had ample time to pump her brakes. I’m interested to know why they really bought it.

    I loved that Gordon loved Scooter. He was just so adorable to me, and I can’t even explain why.
    If you’re reading this Scooter, call me! I want to marry you and eat all your baked goods. I’d also support a Scooter reality show.

  15. 15
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 1:32 am

    @BlueCanary It was? You’re the 1 that made it memorable anyway. I just want people to start going into bars and asking for a sprightly round of anal. Then we’ll know for sure you got famous!

    @Annie I wondered about that too. Wikipedia says that’s where it was 1st discovered though. So it must be true.

  16. 16
    WishICouldDance
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 3:52 am

    Cherryred!!! Oh my gosh! Thanks for posting the link to the article. It gave a good bit more info on investors (does that include his kids?) and the history of the place. The best part was… There was a link on the page to a story bout a man in China who had his penis stolen while he slept! How did I miss this news? I would have remembered hearing about this, wouldn’t I? Dang! Thanks for helping me feel better informed about current events, Cherry! ; D

  17. 17
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 6:25 am

    I think I’m going to name my ska band A Sprightly Round of Anal. That way, when we play it bars, the sign will say, “A Sprightly Round of Anal with [other band playin].”

    I’m with you on the door locking paranoia. My apartment building requires a key to get inside, but I lock my front door as well as my bedroom door at night…just in case. Luckily, I don’t have enough closet space for anyone to crouch inside BTK style. :)

    Great job, as always!

  18. 18
    unwise
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 7:10 am

    Article about Scooter!!

    http://blog.timesunion.com/tablehopping/32727/chatting-with-scooter-about-ramsay-hotel-hell-and-scholarship/

  19. 19
    WishICouldDance
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    Thanks a bunch for posting that, unwise. Great article about a great guy!

  20. 20
    Unwise
    Posted August 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    No problem! I think we all loved Scooter. :)

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