Hotel Hell Recap: You Can’t Buy Good Taste

Recaps

By BlueCanary | Thursday, August 30, 2012 | 12:01 pm | 6 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Hotel Hell, Recaps

Gordon has transformed his own tacky-ass suite from a teenage frat boy’s dream to a really nice room. He’s put in sofas and a decent Jacuzzi, better beds with pressed sheets, and all that fancy stuff. He’s even hired a linen company on a trial basis to deal with the sheets, and Sandra is so happy she cries. Hopefully she can convince Eddie to keep forking over the money once the trial runs out.

Dude on the right seem less than thrilled.

They head to the restaurant, where Gordon has the new menu items set out. He’s banned the plastic containers, and makes Aaron agree to quit fucking around with the room service and take charge. This takes the pressure off the concierge desk, which I’m sure Christos appreciates. Then Gordon presents Brian with a white chef jacket, which doesn’t match the Ferrari theme but is much more appropriate and dignified. Eddie says as long as the staff does its job, he has no problem with them telling him no. It’s on video now, so they have proof he said it if he starts getting mouthy.

That night, guests arrive and everyone is all impressed, both with the décor and the room service. Brian is beside himself with glee, and the diners are happy. Then Brian cries again. I love old hippies.

Gordon packs his cute little valise, which incidentally looks like it should be stuffed with jewels and handcuffed to his wrist. He says goodbye to the staff and hugs everyone. I assume they’re still fine, because we didn’t get an update about any foreclosures, and their website is active. I browsed around on it for a bit, and it looks like Gordon only redid the lobby and his room—the other rooms still appear to be decked out Ferrari-style. Also, only the suites are that expensive; the single rooms run between $200 and $400, which isn’t too out there for the Gaslamp district. The restaurant menu is all fixed up, too, and they’re not the least bit ashamed that Gordon’s hands are all over the place—his name is on that website numerous times. Hopefully Eddie has turned a corner and is listening to his employees. Or hired housekeeping staff, at the very least. I have to give him credit for not being a totally bad guy; we didn’t see him verbally abuse anyone, and they all appear to be getting their paychecks, so it’s not as bad as Juniper Hill.

He’s probably a really nice guy once you get past that slimy layer of new money.

Next week, we get the good nasty stuff! Bugs and blacklights, stained sheets, and all sorts of rot. Whoo! Thanks for stopping by!

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BlueCanary is as unorthodox a blend of optimistic and bitter, laid-back and anxious, motivated and straight up lazy tas one is likely to meet outside an unspecified institution. She spent the past decade holding a variety of job titles, including reporter, tech writer, production manager, and administrative assistant (the go-to job in this economy for folks who just HAD to get that English degree). She is currently living under the tiny yet powerful thumb of an awesome, pint-sized little dude, who wets himself and can't form full sentences (read: stay at home mom). Another tyrannical little thumb is gestating in her womb. She is a regular on The Neutral Corner podcast and blogs at www.mamamuzzle.com. 

Blue's as-yet-unpublished YA novel, The Nature of Echoes, is currently a Quarterfinalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. If you'd like to check it out, a free excerpt is available to download at http://www.amazon.com/Nature-Echoes-ABNA-Entry-ebook/dp/B00B9N3XFQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1363378599&sr=1-1&keywords=eva+gibson+abna.

6 Comments

  1. 1
    JimbobJones Jimbob Jones
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    “call 911 and tries to keep Brian alive with wet towels and profanity. ”

    Ah, wet towels and profanity. That’s advanced medicine right there.

  2. 2
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Wet towels and profanity. I love that. :)

    Not that I’m complaining or anything, but is Gordon going to strip naked and take a bath on every show in this series? Because it seems to be a pattern here. A very nice pattern, but still….

    Form over function doesn’t even cover what was wrong with this hotel. I loved the placement of the TV with the little lunch counter/desk shelf. Yeah, that spells luxury. I wonder that his ‘guests’ haven’t strung him up over his bright red hotel lobby long before this at $700 + per night. I guess he’s banking on the fact that people who can afford to book a hotel that expensive aren’t prone to violent outbursts to resolve their problems.

  3. 3
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 1:59 am

    You did a much better job on this recap than Gordon did on this episode.

    They must not give Gordon much budget for this show. For a place with that much fug I’d expect him to fix more than 1 room and the lobby. And just a better show.

    But I guess the 2 part premiere would be hard to top.

    It was Ari from Beverly Hills Nannies that ordered the cheese plate. She and Barry are in the restaurant at the beginning too.

  4. 4
    eyediosmio Eyediosmio
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 10:31 am

    Well I am not surprised he only did one room, the show can only afford to spend so much $$$ and like you said, thousands went in to getting that red color out.

    I am ALL ABOUT hotel living, I love nothing more than paying too much for a hotel room, ordering in breakfast room service and lounging around in a big fluffy bed. NOTHING about that room would make me want to do that, simply a function of a bed to sleep in, not a room to vacation in. Ugh. And doesnt the color red make people anxious? Horrible design.

  5. 5
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Why would anybody expect the show to redo more than one room? The redo of the lobby was the hotel owner’s payment for letting the hotel be on TV, and the redo of one room was just a model of what could be done in the rest of the hotel if the owner so decides. If the show had to spend more money to redo a place than Gordo gets paid for an episode, then I imagine we would have a very unhappy Gordo, and they have to keep their star happy.

  6. 6
    WishICouldDance
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    The old hippie was cute but… What a graceful swoon!! Wet towels and profanity were probably the right treatment!

    And I just don’t think I could have handled all that red. I am all about red – as an accent!!! That looked like the elevators from the Shining opened up and spewed!! I swear, I started mumbling “redrum” when they first showed the lobby – yikes!

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