Ink Master Recap: The 80 Year Old Virgin

Tattoo day and some of the competitors are scrambling to get ready like Tatu Fatty who has never done an American Traditional and doesn’t know how long it will take to lay out. Clint explains that it is the simplest design to lay out. He says he respects American Traditional but he also respects vegans yet he loves him some bacon. Seriously, how can you not like these little one liners from Crybaby? Oliver reiterates that this is the best medium to test lines. Ron’s client decides to change his location to his ribs which is an iffy area. Clint is stressed because he is overthinking the challenge and just trying to do as many varied lines as he can. Chris checks in on Lalo who is arguing with his client because he is doing an American Flag that isn’t realistic. Chris says that he is doing a flag that is anything but an American Flag which shows that he is not an American and the tattoo is fucked. Ron’s client is fading and Ron knows that he messed up on his flag and hopes someone did worse than he did.

While waiting on the judges, Mark calls out Clint for sculpting his lines knowing he didn’t do an American Traditional tattoo. Crybaby isn’t sure of whether he met the challenge or not and compares it to making an apple pie. He looks nervous during the line up and Oliver calls him out for not really doing the challenge by overworking and bolding lines unnecessarily. Sebastian does a great tattoo but the eagle head is facing the wrong way while Jamie makes the name of the ship one word instead of two. He tries to argue that he looked it up and it is one word but Oliver drops knowledge that all ships were named after American cities. Oliver notes that a lot of the artists did incorrect American flags with the red stripe touching the blue. Tray, having done tons of these, messes up on his eagle while Lalo messes up his flag. Lalo argues it’s not realistic on purpose but the judges come down on him for putting it on a Veteran.

Nick’s piece is called disrespectful by Chris for doing whatever he wanted and trying to redeem himself with the snake and dagger. Back at the loft after judging, Busta calls out Nick on his snoopy blue background. He then shoves what Chris said to him about not going home that week in the faces of the other competitors. Busta confesses to the others that he is a predator and plays mind games and then does a Half Baked-inspired “you’re cool, you’re weak” monologue. Sarah, having enough, yells at him that she hasn’t ever been nervous during touch competitions, he’s insignificant and she can tattoo circles around him. Busta tells her that she is Pinocchio and he is Gepetto and that he is always dancing around in her head. She interviews that if he can’t beat her in tattooing then he will try to beat her mentally which won’t work. Busta then says he is mentally stronger than most in the house and not to hate him but God because that is how he was made. You have no idea how much I cringed typing that last sentence. This guy is such a fucking joke because the only reason he is mentally stronger is because he’s the only idiot that was in jail for 8 years unlike the others who didn’t have to be mentally tough to survive not getting ass raped every day. BTW I have looked into why he was arrested and can’t really find any information other than the facility where he was held and pictures of him from around that time.