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Tuesday, October 9, 2012
7:00 pm
43 Comments
I don’t know why, but this episode title cracks me up every single time I think about it. Particularly because I’m about 93% certain that I referenced Henry V in a recap last season. (And so I did.)
“And Guidos now abed in Newark will think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their spray tans cheap whiles any speaks that partied with us upon the final season of Jersey Shore.”
Last season on Jersey Shore: The gang came home from Italy and went back to the Shore; Snooki had a bladder infection and peed everywhere like an elderly chihuahua; Vinny had a nervous breakdown and went back to his mommy for about five minutes until his roommates came to get him; Mike spend the entire summer threatening to tell Gionni that he and Snooki had hooked up, and when the payoff finally came it was extremely disappointing; JMomm and Rawdger fought all the freaking time.
Between last season and this: Snooki got herself in the family way; Pauly had a spin off; Snooki and JMomm had a spin off; Mike went to rehab for “exhaustion” which in his particular case was code for a prescription pill addiction; Sammi and Ronnie broke up for the 5,000,000th time; Deena got skinny and got her face all carved up into a more Anjelica Huston-y shape; and Vinny tried to be the poster boy for anxiety disorders, but since that’s the only thing about him that is remotely interesting nobody really wanted to take him up on his offer, so he mostly just ate pasta and played World of Warcraft in his mom’s basement (I’m guessing.)
The opening credits are same as they ever were. Ah, nostalgia.
After a montage of the Seaside Heights beach, we join our first roommate in Malanpan, New Jersey. It’s the Sorrentino household, and Mike is gathered with his family members for a feast of a meal. He tells us that he’s spent the past few months “trying to get back to who I really am,” and confesses his addiction to prescription painkillers. Some large (in a muscular way) gentleman speaks about how everyone gathered at the table joined together and…
“The fuck you say,” Michael thinks.
Mike tells us that rehab is the most unbearable, unpleasant thing in the whole wide world, but now he’s the cleanest and healthiest he’s been since he was 21. And I’m all for people admitting they have a problem and getting sober, but I’m going to say this right now: I don’t think Mike is going to make it through the season without a relapse. I just don’t. I’ll apologize if I’m wrong, but I am extremely skeptical about this lasting.
One of the family members thinks they should toast, and Mike suggests that they toast to “GTL.” Paula (you all remember Paula) suggests that they toast to “new beginnings.” Mike interviews that he and Paula have been seeing each other at the shore for four summers now, and while they’re not “going out,” it’s probably the closest thing to it. We call that closest thing “notgoing out,” yes? Just me? “Who know’s what’s going to happen?” Mike asks as we see him kiss Paula goodbye and drive away in his Jeep.
The next stop is Poughkeepsie, New York, where a (not very visibly yet, although that may just be clothing choices) pregnant Snooki enters her parent’s home. “It’s so hot out!” she moans as she crosses the threshold and then trips, due in large part to her ridiculously high platform shoes. “Your floor is slippery!” she tells her mom, “I could have had a miscarriage!” She interviews that going to the shore is a tradition, and even though she’s pregnant, she still wants to be a part of it. We then immediately cut to her complaining about how she’s not going to have any fun because she isn’t pregnant. “Why, pregnant people don’t have any fun at the shore?” her mom asks.
This, ladies and gents, is the face of a woman who wishes she had started calling her offspring on said offspring’s bullshit before the aforementioned offspring was out of diapers.
Snooki tells us that pregnancy has changed her. “Before I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was live it up and go crazy,” she reminds us. Cue the Snooki’s Drunken Antics Montage. “I definitely did, like, a whole 180… I think it’s called…”
Basic math skills, check! Now let’s do something about that hair.
“You don’t get it, these are, like my party friends!” Parents just don’t understand, amirite Snooki? Mama Snooki tells her complaining daughter that just because it will be different doesn’t mean it won’t be fun. Snooki gripes to us that she won’t be able to do her Meatball things, conveniently leaving out how much safer that will make Seaside Heights since at least two police officers will be allowed to perform their actual civic duty rather than watching out for her drunk ass all the time. “I just don’t want to be around drinking,” she continues, “because it really upsets me.” It reminds her how much she wants to drink herself. I would love to know how long, in minutes, it was between her son’s birth and her first post-pregnancy drink. They probably had champagne in the delivery room, and Snooki was downing her first celebratory glass with a straw while she delivered the afterbirth.
Mama and Papa Snooki go outside to bid their daughter adieu, and Papa Snooki helps Snooki climb into her ridiculous luxury extended cab, short bed truck with it’s bright pink trim. “Mom it’s too hot, I can’t…” Snooki moans as she shoos her mother away with her hand and rolls up the driver’s side window. “Uch! I’m miserable,” she says as Papa Snooki waves her out of the driveway. She tells us that she’ll still be there “in spirit” and will just have to make it her own summer. Unlike the previous summers, which belonged to someone else, apparently.
Next, to Toms River, New Jersey, and the enormous house shared by JMomm and Rawdger. The two of them are in a room which I’m fairly certain is an entire bedroom devoted entirely to Jenni’s shoes and clothing. Remember the dream closet from the first Sex in the City movie? It’s like that, except not as fancy. “Nicole coming?” Rawdge asks, and Jenni replies that Snooki is picking her up. “But she’s pregnant,” Rawdger retorts, because in his universe, pregnant women never leave the kitchen. “Why is she going?” he asks, and Jenni bitterly replies that he should ask Snooki when she gets there.
JMomm reminds us in an interview that after the last summer at the shore, she and Snooki moved in together, “which was very short lived,” and now she and Rawdger are living together.
“Also, I had some more Botox and fillers injected, but it’s totally impossible to tell.”
Rawdger asks Jenni how she would feel if he got a shore house and stayed in it with his friends all summer. “Would that fly with you?” No, Rawdger, it would not. “Little bit of double standards here?” Why yes, that is precisely what is happening. JMomm interviews that her relationship is pretty good, “basically same shit different day. Or different toilet.” With a euphemism like that, it’s clear to anyone that the romance is still alive between these two crazy kids! “I’m actually really shocked that Rawdger’s still with me,” she says, as am I.
“For two years now, all I’ve been hearing, ‘I just want to settle down and have kids with you and get married,’ and yet you leave every five minutes to go live somewhere new,” Rawdger points out. “Where’s my ring?” JMomm counters, smiling dangerously. Rawdger replies that he wants a little bit of stability in his relationship before he buys a ring, which is an extremely tactful way of saying, “We’re totes breaking up once the residual checks from MTV start drying up.” JMomm thinks that living in a house together is stable, but Rawdger feels like a glorified dog sitter. “It’s a package deal,” Jenni reminds him, “me and two bitches.”
Mike is also in Toms River, buying groceries for a big-ass “welcome back” meal for the roommates. His goal is to have the food ready for everyone when they walk in the house. Why won’t he make eye contact with the camera? His body language is easily as shifty as it was during the worst points of last season. “Food brings people together, you know, a nice little feast,” but he mostly just wants to show his housemates that he’s trying to start the summer out on a good foot. By giving them food poisoning. (I may be reading between the lines here.) He selects pickles from a barrel and finds one big enough to “feed Snooki for a month.”
“Shit, my vagina hurts!” Snooki mutters as she approaches JMomm’s house. She calls Jenni to let her know that she’ll be there to pick her up in approximately 8 minutes. “Are you excited to move in?” Snooki asks. “Yeah, are you?” Jenni replies. “I just don’t want drama like last time,” Snooki says. She tells us that she hasn’t spoke to Mike since last summer and if he apologizes, “thank you, but I don’t want to be your friend.” She tells Jenni, “If he starts anything with me, then I’m going to go into premature labor.” Hold up.
I get that pregnancy is a big deal, especially if it’s your very first pregnancy and you have no idea what to expect and everything is new and different and exciting and worrying and uncomfortable and weird and sometimes a little bit gross. But here’s the thing: no one else really cares that much about it except for you, your partner, and potentially the grandparents. Bringing it up every three seconds is so. Damn. Annoying! I think Snooki would have tended toward that anyway, but her pregnancy landing her on the covers of a bazillion magazines and being interviewed on every talk show in America surely didn’t help matters at all. It’s going to be a long season in re: pregnancy minutiae.
Jenni tells Snooki that now that Mike is clean, hopefully there won’t be any drama. “Oh, there will be drama,” Rawdger chuckles.
We rejoin Mike in his Jeep, where he shares that “even though I’m sober, there’s still going to be lots of craziness.” See, here’s the thing about substance abuse: while you may behave differently while you’re using, all that being high or drunk really does in regards to your personality is bring out things that are already there, just usually suppressed because your super-ego realizes that certain types of behaviour are unacceptable in public. Mike may have been an über asshat while using, but now that he’s sober, his potential for asshattery remains the same, although he likely has a tighter rein on it. Although given my suspicion that regardless of his drug of choice, Mike’s real addiction is to drama and attention, I’m not expecting to see that much of a change.
“I’m curious to see how I’m going to act,” Mike laughs. So am I. I definitely have low expectations, primarily because I’ve known people who were a lot like him in many ways, and I saw how well they worked their recovery. And since I don’t know Mike personally and get to rip on him for fun, I don’t feel obligated to give him the benefit of the doubt. Unfair of me? Probably. But we’ll see how things play out.
Welcome to the Bronx! Ronnie is packing his things, including at least three industrial sized containers of Muscle Milk.
The irony being that if he didn’t use the Muscle Milk, he wouldn’t be able to carry that much of it at one time.
“I’m SO excited to go back to the shore!” Ronnie interviews. Aw, Ron-Ron, you lovable lummox. I’ve missed you. He zips a stuffed suitcase closed and wonders how he and Sammi are going to fit all of their stuff into the car.
Jump to Hazlet, New Jersey, where Sammi is explaining to her mom that she and Ron are “going to the house together,” and who knows what will happen when they come out. “Me and Ron, somehow we keep coming back to one another,” Sammi tells us. Shut the front door! Sammi and Ron are back together? Who saw that coming?! What a crazy, unpredictable twist, you guys! Never saw it coming. “Right now we’re together and I’m happy,” she continues, and the inflection in her voice lets you know that there’s a huge, unspoken “but…” after that phrase. “I’m twenty-five years old, and I’m in a time in my life were I’m kind of, like, mature, and I’m where I want to be. And I’m happy with Ron, and hopefully me and Ron can get through this house this summer together.”
“I thought I sounded pretty convincing. Can I get that bonus check made out to ‘cash’?”
Ronnie slides Sammi’s suitcases down the front steps of her house, and when she catches him, he protests that they slipped. It’s good to see that their relationship is still based on mutual trust, respect, and honesty. Ronnie interviews that things are good with them right now. “We communicate very well, if there’s something that’s bothering me, I’m just going to tell her how I feel without actually hurting herfeelings, which I was pretty bad at in the past.” The only reason you’ve made any progress there, boy-o, is because Sammi has shut down her feelings when it comes to you, and plays the perfect automaton girlfriend. She’s like an extremely tan Stepford wife.
In the car Ronnie tells Sammi that he’s not really looking forward to living with a pregnant chick. Sammi thinks it will be cool. “Is it possible that Jenni can complain more than Snooki now that Snooki’s pregnant?” Ronnie asks. I’m sure she’ll try. “Oh my god,” Sammi laugh/sighs. Ronnie tells her that he’ll be much worse when he’s drunk. Won’t that be fun.
Providence, Rhode Island, where Pauly D is having the best day of his life! He is on the phone with his brofriend and life partner, Vinny. “You ready to do this, bro?” Vinny asks. “Oh, I’m ready.” Pauly interviews. “Me and Vinny are definitely going to do our thing this year.”
“Vinny said that this summer he will finally let me get past second base!”
They speculate about who will be the first person at the house. “Probably Mike,” Pauly says. He tells Vinny that he talked to Mike the day before, and Mike sounded clean. They agree that they are willing to give Mike another chance. “Now that Mike’s back to normal, maybe we’ll get MVP back together, like it used to be,” Pauly tells us. He tells Vinny, “You better not leave me this time!” Vinny tells Pauly not to let him go, and Pauly says he’ll never let him go. Ever.
Mama Vinny is fussing over her son in Staten Island, telling him he should bring a robe. Because nothing says “I had a purported threesome with supposed lesbians” like a big, fluffy, terry cloth robe. “It’s good to have, you never know,” she tell him. Vinny sighs, but you know he’s totally bringing a robe. She tries to put a baseball cap on Vinny’s head, but he ducks away, protesting, “Mom, my hair!”
How is a baseball cap going to mess up this particular “hairstyle”?
Vinny reminds us that last year he was exhausted, hit a low point, and left. Flashback to his emotional parting from Pauly. “I ended up getting my shit together, and coming back, and finishing the summer with my friends. Since then, I’ve been really trying to get my mind in check, uh… trying to get everything in check.”
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43 Comments
SuperB! If the first two paragraphs are any indication of the rest of this cap well, I here by declare we can have fun and we CAN be wild! (Free shrimp & grits for whoever guesses that movie quote play on words)
Too many jokes to keep up…welcome back, brava and back to reading!
Thanks, Gypsy.
I clearly dropped the ball when proof reading, however.
The movie quote is tickling something in the back of my mind but I can’t quite put my finger on it, so I guess I’ll have to pay for my own shrimp & grits.
Hint: PUDGE!
I have to point out one thing about making amends. It has nothing to do with being sorry, and the phrase “I’m sorry” shouldn’t even come into an amends. You admit what you did wrong, that you know it was wrong, and ask “How do I make it right” (Mike didn’t do this either. I agree that he is still to self serving to truly go through an amends with anyone). Something tells me that Mike isn’t exactly following a 12 step program, probably doesn’t have a sponser, and isn’t going to meetings. All of that will lead to relapse. I agree with you though, Mike has a lot of problems on top of addiction that he doesn’t seem to want to change (or might not realize he has, someone needs to do Step 5). He does look better, there’s that.
This was really boring, not as bad as Snooki and Jwoww, but not much better. Your recap was infinitely more entertaining. Thanks for sticking it out until the bitter end.
I know I welcomed ya back in the mini, SuperB, but it’s just so good to have you back that I have to do it again. Welcome baaaaaaaaaack.
You really hit the ground running. I giggled, I laughed out loud, I got stares and glares from people I don’t know. Yay.
For the last year or so we have remarked how Mike looks like he’s about 40. Well the clean and sober Mike looks even older now. Like 50. It’s like the janitor moved in with the kids. Ick. He looks healthier, granted, but older without being wiser.
Okay. Back to reading.
Welcome back, SuperB!
One thing I noticed about Mike is he kept specifying that he is off “the hard stuff.” How many days before he makes a clear distinction and starts reaching for the small stuff again?
Great recap, Suburbint! I’m glad you’re here to make our Guido Goodbye all the more palatable.
(Is it me or is there an awkwardness amongst the cast. Lots of nervous giggles and awkward pauses…like they spent so much time apart and came together after a year and had to force this sense of intimacy immediately.)
Omg this recap was hilarious! I kept disturbing my husband with my laughter. Pauly D and Vinny have a true love that will last a lifetime!
I just had to say, as a fellow first time pregnant woman, Snooki needs to get over it! Ugh she drove me crazy whining the whole time. I feel her pain, it sucks having to give up everything, but it doesn’t do her any good to bitch about it. I hope we don’t have to hear about her pregnancy all season! And mike was also annoying talking in his skeevy way about the “new Situation” every second. You’re still a douche, drugs don’t change that!!
@ Lauren — Thanks for the clarification. I haven’t actually done the whole rehab/recovery thing myself, so my knowledge of how it all works is drawn from several years of knowing several people at various points in their own addictions/recoveries, what I’ve viewed at open meetings, and what people told me about how it all works. Amends was explained to me as including ownership of your actions and an apology, and when amends have been made to me they always included one. I don’t understand how someone can know what they did was wrong, admit it was wrong, and want to set it right without also being sorry for what they did; that just seems half-assed to me. Can you shed any more light on why being sorry wouldn’t be considered a necessary part of amends? I’m truly curious.
@ SSC — I think Mike is starting to look like his older brother, Frankie, to whom genetics were not particularly kind nor generous. I think he looks healthier and definitely more in shape (which is pretty amazing) than he did last year, but I agree, he still looks like he’s aging at an accelerated rate — probably a combination of his substance abuse and tanning.
@ sarcas — I found a lot of what Mike said and the way he said it to be odd in light of his recovery. Right now he’s off everything, including cigarettes, and that’s a serious accomplishment — so why keep saying that he’s off “the hard stuff?” If he’s serious about his recovery and staying sober, he can’t drink ever again — so why did he tell that girl “I’m not drinking tonight?” I get that it can be embarrassing to tell total strangers that you’re in recovery, but the entire world knew that he had a substance abuse problem, and if he truly is ready to commit to sobriety he needs to learn to be straightforward about his restrictions. He doesn’t even have to say, “I can’t drink, I’m in recovery,” all he has to say is, “I don’t drink,” and then if follow-up questions are asked, take them as they come.
I think the awkwardness amongst the cast was due in large part to not knowing what to expect from Mike, and everyone being very tense about whether or not things were going to go south extremely quickly with him. Plus I’m sure knowing that it really is the last season this time and knowing that Mike and Snooki are both unable to party the way they used to puts a lot of pressure on the other roommates to keep things in the house lively and interesting.
@ Rapscallions — glad you enjoyed it, and I hope your husband was understanding! Sadly, I fear we will be hearing about Snooki’s pregnancy more or less constantly this season because that’s all she has to bring to the table. As for Mike, it’s good to know other people still find him skeevy as well. Whenever he or one of his cast mates would say something about him getting back to his “real” self again, all I could think of was one point last year when Pauly said something about how when Mike acts all nice and kind and helpful they know that he’s up to something and are waiting for the real Mike (manipulative, devious, backstabbing) to come out. The drugs and alcohol may have emphasized Mike’s negative personality traits, but I don’t think they’re that far from the surface now that he’s sober.
Hi Suburbint!
I had no taste for beer when I was preggo, or chinese, or mexican.
My body went into healthy mode.
Weird that Snooker still wants to drink beer.
She is insufferable. I hope that Lorenzo knocks all of that mememe out of her.
Shrimp and grits…yum!
Mike shouldn’t have come back this season. Maybe an appearance would have been better.
Vinny is hungup on Snookie? Ooooookkkkaaaaayyyyy?
Seriously? Mike said he was sorry and he messed up, and yet you still go off on this tangent that he didn’t really apologize? Come on
I’m kinda glad Snooki isn’t in the house…that should make it a little more tolerable. I hope.
What a sorry lot they’ve become. True, they were all disgusting last year, but I think the whole thing shouldda ended then.
Since they didn’t put it out of its misery, good to gave you making a silk purse out of it all.
Deena being more pathetic than ever
Mike craving even more attention
Snooki moping around
Can’t wait to see how the others have devolved.
@ Sheesh — I never had any desire to drink while I was pregnant either, but drinking was never as hugely important to my sense of identity as it has been to Snooki all these years. I know she’s said in interviews that she doesn’t drink as heavily the rest of the time as she does while filming, but it’s not like she was a teetotaler when the cameras were off, or she would have been hospitalized with alcohol poisoning at the beginning of each season.
My theory about Vinny being supposedly hung up on Snooki is that it’s more of a thing where he wants her only because he can’t have her now that Jionni has staked his official claim with both a fetus and an engagement ring. If Jionni had bailed and a tearful Snooki had gone to Vinny and asked him to be her boo, I think he would have been like, “Hell yeah!” for a couple of days and then have no interest anymore. Based on his reaction when she told the roommates about her pregnancy and engagement on Snooki & JWoww he’s suffering badly from a case of sour grapes.
@SuburBint – Correct me if I’m wrong, but did these kids know this was the last season when they entered the house? I thought that decision was made after the season was filmed or at the least close to when they were finished filming.
This show is so sad to watch now. I wish they would have had a rotating cast every other year with new Guidos to keep it fresh. Following these same six for the past what? Nine seasons has become very boring and precdictible. I have next to no interst in this final season. At least these recaps are interesting!
@ Chef Pants — I don’t remember the exact timeline, but I think the public announcement that it was the last season was made while they were filming. I would imagine the actual decision had been made well before filming began and the cast was told going in, or at least had a strong suspicion, especially since MTV claimed that last season was going to be the final season but then “surprised” us with Season 6.
I know Mike was always a jerkoff and stuff but besides Snooki (who he tried to fuck over in a really malicious way) did he really do anything that bad to anybody? Being a douchebag in general warrants an apology but everyone is acting like he hatched some evil plan against them. He made an effort, you don’t need over analyze every word he said for its underlying meaning. He is a retarded juicehead of course its not going to be the most well articulated apology in the world. Ronnie especially, who forces the whole house to live through his incessant fighting with Sam, puts them in uncomfortable positions where they have to lie to Sam to cover for him and even physically attacked Mike, doesn’t hesitate to play the victim card wherever possible.
Is part two going to have its own recap? Don’t tell me you’re not even going to touch on Ronnie instigating a fight with Sammi on day one – you can’t hate Vinny and Ron gets off scot-free; as I mentioned in the minicap, as the sky (or Deena’s hideous dress) is blue, I think Ron is a piece of shit. Also, I just watched season 3 on Netflix and Ron and Sam were the first people to arrive at the house and willingly CHOSE to go upstairs in the bedroom with three beds. So what is this shit about FINALLY getting their own room? Sure, petty thing to pick on Ron about, but I’ll take what I can get.
I don’t think Deena looks that much better, but it’s probably skewed because I hate her.
Good to see that you touched on Mike’s old shenanigans; the GRAND GESTURE of the dinner…..only to result in him being all butt-hurt that no one’s helping out. What?!?!?! Again???? I think Mike may have coined the phrase “no free lunch”. Apparently when he went to rehab for the “hard stuff” that clearly did NOT mean his apparent mental illness.
@ Judgy — I’m working on part two now, as fast as my fingers will type! No way I’m going to leave that nonsense alone!
I felt like I was maybe being too hard on Mike in the recap, but it is reassuring to hear that so many of you agree that he’s substantially still the same creep that he always was, sober or not.
How can you hate Deena? Poor little thing, I still want to take her home, give her a strict curfew, and enroll her in Women’s Studies courses at the local community college. I think Deena is so busy trying to live up to what she thinks the expectations are for her as a Jersey Shore cast member that she has no idea how to be herself, and the bad decisions are snowballing.
@judgy, while I’m no psychologist, I DID (emphasizing past tense) have a friend who has been in the 12 step for years without ever acknowledging the pain and suffering he inflicted for years while using. It was always somebody else. He was the innocent victim.
I think that’s Mike. As you noted about nobody’s helping out (even before anybody had a chance to do it) the self pity, the victimization, is typical of the “dry user”.
Takes more than rehab if the user has no inclination toward self-awareness.
I feel like I’m watching this season out of obligation but I can already tell it’s going to blow. How many times did Snooki want Jionni to confirm it was wrong for her to be in a club? You know she was just waiting for him to say, let’s go to Karma.
I can’t take a season of Deena crying, Mike trying to convince us all he’s ‘sober’, Vinny moping, Snooki complaining and Sam and Ron being Sam and Ron. Thank goodness for the one saving grace, Pauly D. Oh and your hysterical recaps as well!
@Judgy- Before the crew left Italy they had a last meal where they discussed keeping same rooms so, that is why Sam and Rawn got stuck with Mike.
And, I second what SSC’s saying. Rehab doesn’t cure your personality traits. That takes dedication, therapy and likely a program and it took him 30+ years to get to this point, it’s going to take a while to unwind what he has created.
@Gypsy – Season 3 was after Miami – before Italy! They very clearly state in the episode that they voluntarily picked the upstairs room because it was the “nicest,”vehemently claiming it wouldn’t be awkward for any 3rd occupant. Uh, my ass. They absolutely had a choice to go into the room with two beds.
Yayyyyy, another recap! I probably don’t feel bad for Deena because she has the kind of personality that completely clashes with mine – she tries too hard. I really hate that. Some (nicer) people can tolerate it – I can’t.
Well I stand corrected. That was how I recalled it. Certainly no need to get nasty.
What? How did I get nasty? The “my ass” comment was directed toward THEM and their insistence that it wouldn’t be awkward for whichever third person got stuck with them. Pretty sure season 3 was their worst one to date!
Would that be the movie “Shag”?
@ Chey — I stand by what I said. I don’t think Mike really and sincerely apologized or took responsibility for the ways in which he hurt his roommates. What he did was a start, but considering the Machiavellian delight he took in trying to orchestrate ways to fuck with the other cast members’ minds and emotions, the least he could do is go to each of them individually and have a serious, in depth talk about how he hurt that person.
@ Charles — I think Mike’s biggest issue in regards to the rest of the house has a lot to do with the tone he set. I’ve lived with people who were that powder keg waiting to go off, and living in that kind of environment is incredibly stressful. Ron is no angel either, and he definitely needs to seek some sort of therapy for his anger issues, but he has never declared himself to be this great evil genius that can toy with his roommates and they don’t even see him doing it, but that is something that Mike has certainly boasted about. Last season most of his wiles were devoted to getting between Snooki and Jionni, but he also turned his brother’s relationship with Deena’s sister into a way to mess with Deena’s mind for no other reason than because he found it amusing. They treat him like an evil plan-hatcher because that’s what he said he was and continually tried to prove himself to be.
@ SSC — the behaviour you describe is pretty typical of what I’ve seen from people who weren’t really ready to grow as people. Mike’s been blaming others for his own shortcomings for years, and he isn’t yet equipped to stop doing that. I agree, it takes a lot more than rehab to unlearn those old habits and learn new ways of interacting with people and interpreting your understanding of how the world works.
@ mere — I agree, Snooki was hoping Jionni would talk her into going to Karma.
@ Judgy — Deena tries waaay too hard, which I find pitiable, but I can see how that would set your teeth on edge. I was the girl who tried way too hard in my youth until I learned how to be comfortable with me, so it’s easy for me to relate and feel sorry for Deena.
@Judgy…thanks for clarifying, I apprecaite it.
@Caligal-YES! Winner Winner shrimp & grits dinner!
Ah man! Caligal beat me to it. SHAG! I used to watch that movie incessantly.
SuburBint – Hilarious recap! The Kenneth Branagh picture and the guido Shakespeare is pure genius. The title of the episode makes me love the production people behind this mess as well. They know the cast members would never recognize a Shakespeare reference. They’re the butt of their own show’s jokes.
From what has been explained to me, the “I’m Sorry” in an amends makes it more trivial. If a person in recovery tries to take it out of the amends, it forces them to own up to whatever behavior or action led to the amends in the first place. Also, people who have been hurt by an addict have likely heard “I’m Sorry” countless times from the addict, and can easily write it off, thinking the person will go back to whatever they did before. A victim has probably not heard a full admittance to behaviors/actions, or a sincere need to make it right. Saying I’m Sorry is just not enough by Big Book (either NA or AA) standards for it to truly be an amends. While making amends is a vital step, you are not supposed to do it if it will cause pain or injury to others. Just saying I’m Sorry could do just that, since the victim has heard it all before, and could likely be hurt by just another apology they may hear from this person. And any sooner will tell you, expecting anything from an amends is wrong. The other person has every right to accept it and tell you how to fix it, or say f***you, I don’t believe you will change. Another hint to me that Mike isn’t really doing a 12step thing.
I heard a little bit of step 1 from Mike, but that’s it. He needs to work the program if he sincerely wants to be better. Someone mentioned “dry user”, and that is exactly what he is. He is abstaining, not recovering.
I don’t even believe everyone needs a 12 step and all that to get better. Everyone is different. I’m just not really sure where Mike’s head is at. Going back to the shore house would be the last thing any recovering addict would do if they truly wanted to be clean and live a better life, 12 step or not
“And any sooner will tell you, expecting anything from an amends is wrong.”
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@ Lauren — Great explanation. I absolutely agree, those who have been hurt by an addict have almost certainly heard “I’m sorry” so many times that it has lost all meaning, and I by no means think that saying “I’m sorry” is in and of itself an adequate amends. Like I said above, I always understood the concept of amends to consist of owning what you’ve done in the past, and to me, saying that you’re sorry is a natural part of that. Saying “I was wrong” and intentionally not following it with “I’m sorry” seems duplicitous to me. Anyone who needs to have amends made to them is probably not going to take whatever is said seriously anyway, they need to see that there is a real change in the addict’s behaviour.
Suburbint…thanks for an insightful recap. You have a great read on these people which makes reading the recap all the more interesting. Mostly I only read the recaps when I have missed an episode but I enjoy reading certain authors re-caps because of their entertaining comments and style. I didn’t like her much un-pregnant and now that her self absortion is amplified by 100 I may stick to soley reading your coles notes and not watching the show if Snooki continues to assault my brain with her inssant woe is me attitude.
Thanks for your hard work (can’t be easy listening to these people more than once to get the quote) and can’t wait for the next installment!
@Gypsy – yeah, absolutely no nastiness intended (except to Rammi) but I could see how it could be interpreted that way. My apologies!
@Honey- Meeeeeeee too! Come with us, I’ll take you both
@Lauren, I have no heard such a through and accurate explination of Step 9 since going to my first meeting for Athiests (sp) in LA with my Ex. and that was YEARS ago. I really just want to say thanks.
@ Judgy already forgotten. Let’s snark some Rammi!
Gypsy -Thank you. I won’t get into why I’m so current with this stuff, but you saying that means a lot to me.
SB- I didn’t mean to correct you so much as explain another aspect of amends. You were pretty right on with hat you said in the recap. I just wanted to make it clear that Mike has a lot more to do than just saying sorry, and while I respect that he’s clean, I don’t respect that he is essentially taking the easy road to his recovery.
Your recaps are awesome and I look forward to part 2.
@ Lauren — No worries, I appreciate you sharing so much information with us! I also appreciate being corrected when I’m wrong, because I’d rather be corrected and learn something than continue to mouth off inaccurately. I hope that, regardless of the reason why you are so on top of the ins and outs of 12 step recovery, things are going well. Lots of people try to take the easy road to recovery, especially the first time around. After all, they’ve been taking the easy road for so long by avoiding reality through using, taking shortcuts and manipulating circumstances to their own advantage is second nature. I’m glad you enjoyed the recap, still working on part 2… lots of stuff to cover there! Should have it up this evening, the internet gods permitting.
I’m still totally convinced that Vinny’s gay. And it appears that this season isn’t going to dissuade me of that notion. Lol Vinny’s less hung up on Nicole and more hung up on Pauly’s dick.
Their love makes me believe in soulmates! Don’t let me down this season P&V!!!
@VGirl, you never cease to astonish me. You must be the first person to come out and just say what many of us have sorta kinda suspected.
Being gay just doesn’t fit the Guido GTL mold, now does it? Come to think of it, neither Vinny nor Pauly was much for smushing, now were they?
No. I am NOT going through the epis to tally the scores.
I’m just going to say it: I like Mike *ducks*
@ Valleygirl — I would seriously love it if one day Vinny and Pauly came out and admitted that they really were in love and a couple.
@ Enrique’s Mole — So does Classy Drunk, so at least you’re in good company.
Just sent the part 2 recap in to be published. Sorry it took so long, next week’s will be up faster. Thanks for being so patient!
@snowshoecat: I can’t tell if you’re being facetious or not. Lol. But to be fair, Vinny isn’t a GTL guy. He’s smarter than all of them but the poor boy just wants to be Glinda popular with the cool kids.
Haha and I’m pretty sure that last season they got zero smushing so they were clearly doing something with each other or that was one sexually frustrated summer.