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Thursday, October 11, 2012
10:00 am
15 Comments
“So I kind of need advice, cos I’m confused and a little concerned about living in the house, like, with getting rest and just having, like, alone time to…” “Be pregnant,” Danny finishes for her. “I understand your concern cos I know they come home at four in the morning and and they’re up ’til six.” Snooki says that she still wants to spend time with her roommates, she just wants to get away from the house. The house where all of her roommates are. She asks Danny if he has another place where she can stay. “I have a couple other places,” he tells her. “where everybody who works for me lives in all these different houses and stuff. But it’s summertime, so everything’s pretty much filled up.” Snooki tells him that all she needs is a bed and a shower. Turns out Danny just so happens to have an apartment right next to the house they’re already in! “What I could do is maybe move you in,” he says. It’s not what he wants to do, but he understands that the shared house isn’t the right environment for her right now. “It’s a party house,” he says, “and you’re not ready to party right now. You’re ready to become a mommy. Take care of a puking baby.” I have to admit, I’ve spent more than a few minutes imagining Snooki dealing with all of the various oozy things that infants emit, and it is an amusing diversion. “And party once a week,” Snooki says.
“What?!”
Snooki interviews that it makes her feel good that Danny is so understanding and is helping her out. “It just means that he cares,” she says. She hugs Danny and thanks him, and then asks if she can go on her break now. “No!” Danny says. “Frickin’ make a sale!”
Snooki is either on break or her shift is over, because she and the other girls are at the Beachcomber (“Ice Cold Beer” says the sign.) Jenni, sitting next to her, says that she’s about to eat her fake cigarette. She is wearing a crown, a metal band around her head covered in small gold spikes. “I feel like I’m in the medieval times,” she says. “How awkward was Vinny last night?” Snooki asks. “I’m like, ‘Can you shut the fuck up?’” Deena says that she loves the guys to death, but sometimes they cross the line. “Everyone needs to give Jionni a break,” says Snooki. She interviews that she is going to tell Jionni everything Vinny is saying because she would want to know if some bitch were talking about her like that. That’s not going to start any drama, not at all. “Just tell him where it’s at,” Deena advises. “You’ve said your jokes, it was funny for a second, move on.” Deena tells us that now Snooki is pregnant, enough is enough.
“I honestly wanted to get a knife last night and just cut Vinny’s throat,” Snooki says. If Vinny dies under any remotely suspicious circumstances in the next year or so, Snooki is gonna be looking really good as a suspect. “You can fuck with me all you want. You fuck with my man… I will cut your fucking dick off,” JMomm contributes. Deena says she thinks she’ll lose her mind. “If they keep it up, us girls are gonna tell them to cut it the fuck out,” Deena interviews.
It’s a dire, dire threat.
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15 Comments
You posted my fave avatar. I heart you so hard!
It makes me think:
“I am tired of these mutha fcking GUIDOS on this mutha fckin SHORE”
On to reading.
for the love of God, you are recapping the Jersey Shore, stop being so judgemental and negative!!!!! They get drunk, they are rude and crude and wild ..that , infact is the point
18 pages?!?! Holy shit – you totally outdid yourself with this one!
I don’t get Snooki’s logic either…shocker.
Tonight’s episode is being previewed as ‘the biggest fight at Karma ever’ and I couldn’t be more excited after the two-hour snoozefest they made us endure last week. Bring it!
Even if the Bitchuation doesn’t start drinking and drugging brfore the end of the year, I still think you have nailed him. As I said on the previous post, Mike is a “dry user” and has to change his personality for the treatment (abbreviated as it was) to be successful.
Another not so success? Snooki and Jionni. When I was with hubbycat when we were a new couple, clubbing with my friends was low on my list of things to do. We had fun being out together and that was the whole point. Still do, still is. The two of them look like a middle-aged couple stuck in a failing marraige, rather than a young couple in love. Or even in like.
Back to reading.
I must point out GBF and I played our own version of Eff, Marry, Kill this spring but we chose:
Hipster
Dooshbag
Guido
GBF wisely said the worst would be a combination of all three!
Last night we had our Eureka moment on this! (obviously a week later than you SuperB) Vinny is a Guido Hipster Dooshbag: GHD.
Flick that had off indeed.
Is he not the Tamra Barney of the Jersey Shore???
Gah! *hat!
@ sassy — OMG, you are so right. Here, let me try again.
Re: Ronnie and Sammi’s fight in the club — They’re only fighting because they love each other SOOOOOO much. They are totally the bestest couple ever, except for Bella and Edward. Also, drinking so much that he can’t remember what he did the night before is just Ronnie’s way of blowing off steam, there is nothing worng with that, and it’s super mean to hold him responsible for his actions while he’s in that state!
Re: Snooki’s constant whining about how being pregnant is ruining her fun potential — Being pregnant is really hard! I mean, babies totally ruin your figure, and your hormones are all wacky, and her fiancé isn’t there every single minute to rub her feet and tell her she looks beautiful. Not to mention the fact that babies are, like, totes rare and nobody has ever been through what Snooki’s going through right now!
Re: Mike hanging out in clubs with his drunken roommates straight out of rehab — Mike has more willpower than anybody in the whole world! His abs are proof of that! Besides, he’s always been a paragon of restraint, as a review of the past five seasons will show; only brings one girl from Karma home at night, only occasionally loses his temper and tries to start fights with people, and he never drank as much as Ronnie back when he used to drink. So what if the statistical likelihood of addicts relapsing is like 70%? Mike is definitely in the 30% cos he is THAT awesome! I bet he’ll help a lot of other people at the clubs who have addiction issues as they see him sipping on his club soda and Red Bulls. What could possibly go wrong?
Re: Deena’s… everything — Deena is awesome! She’s so pretty and skinny now, and that’s what is really important for a girl. I mean, she has a boyfriend now, right? What matters when you’re a girl is always being happy, pretty, and never ever making people around you have to deal with your real feelings or problems, because then you might not be as popular. Deena’s totally a pixie, a paper doll, a cartoon. She’s a chipper, cheerful free-for-all who lights up a room, and she’ll be totally happy and fulfilled as long as she sucks up and is nice.
I could continue, but I’m making myself nauseous. As long as these people continue to indulge in unhealthy and hurtful behaviour, I will continue to be judgmental and “negative,” although I prefer to think of it as being reasonable and rational. Their foray into real life is preceded by four years and six seasons of ludicrously irresponsible behaviour from all of them and I don’t think a single cast member has shown any real personal growth or maturity (with the exception of Mike, depending on how he works his recovery.) What is laudable about remaining in the Stagnant Pond of Consequence-Free Perpetual Adolescence?
@ Mere — Who is fighting, do the commercials give any indication? They kept promising us big fights last season and nothing ever came out of it, I hope this is really a fight and not just someone getting botch slapped and their attacker being bounced.
@ SSC — You hit the nail on the head with Snooki and Jionni. I’ve often wondered what they have in common because all we’ve ever seen them do on the show is get drunk together and have sex… I somehow doubt that they have a lot to talk about. Like I said in the recap, it looks like Jionni just might have a pretty good head on his shoulders and I think he could provide a steadying , sobering influence for Snooki.
@ Gypsy — GHD; love it!
I think we will see a decent fight. I saw some footage on tmz a few months ago when the show was taping, it’s basically a bar brawl if it’s the same one I saw. IIRC charges were filed, but I don’t remember against who.
http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/jersey-shore-castmates-reportedly-involved-in-big-weekend-bar-fight-13557.php
Deena gets arrested also:
http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/deena-cortese-arrested-for-public-intoxication-while-filming-jersey-shore–13554.php
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap SuperB!
RAWDGAH throttled Jwoww. Not cool but I’ll wait for your next ‘cap.
Steriods-they’re known for their cool, calm, level headed side effects.
SuburBint – I don’t think anyone calls Sammi “Sweetheart”. Rawn’s nicknames for her seem to be “asshole” and “bitch”. Myself, I prefer to call her “douchebag”, but hey, why choose?!
Deena… awhhh she is like a young girl going through relationship stages as a young woman! Chris seems fine with it so far its just her roommates that aren’t so sympathetic.
Vinny, you kinda suck.
Sammi and Ron, ughhhhh.
Snooki should just be a bubble girl for this season. Like correct me if I am wrong but can’t pregnant people even do simple rides like the farris wheel? like as long as it isnt tossing and turning around?
@ darling clementine — When I was at the county fair a few weeks back, the Ferris wheel had the same restrictions as the more exciting rides. It’s a liability issue, if Snooki were to go into premature labor on even the tamest of rides, she could hypothetically sue the ride owners, whether the ride were actually the cause or not. We are a litigious society.