Jill ends her positive rant by saying she’s all about family, unlike her replacement HEATHER who isn’t even a real Jew! Where was Heather’s apartment this season? Where was her husband? Her kids? Andy gently reminds her that we met her kid and husband, but Jill isn’t hearing. I wish she would shut up long enough for Andy to innocently point out that Heather has not only a son, but a super sick one that had to get full body transplants or some shit. That probably STILL wouldn’t shut Jill up.
I will give you this chicken wing if you learn how to say “I like you better than Bethenny” in English. On Twitter.
Andy (and America) doesn’t get why she is comparing herself to Heather. Cuz she has a Spanx knockoff company like Jill? But that’s different! Heather actually sells stuff. Jill says that Heather is her replacement because they’re both the voices of reason. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Jill Zarin, I don’t think anyone has told you this enough in your life. You’re fucking INSANE. Get some help before you hurt someone. I know you’re reading this cuz you’re in the tags and you read everything you’re tagged in. Now step away from the computer, dye your hair, change your name, and go somewhere no one knows English so they can’t be tortured by your endless gushing rivers of BULLCRAP! SHUT. UP.
Andy stops himself from laughing at her “voice of reason” comment, and I’m starting to think he might be getting to be really good at his job. Or maybe I’m just finally seeing the talent that’s always been there? His uncomfortable stupidity is just an act to keep these idiots rambling on like crazy people. I take back every bad thing I ever…I forgot what I was saying. Anyway, Andy asks Jill if she misses the limelight.
HOW DARE YOU SIR?!?! Jill IS big! It’s the PICTCHAS that got small!
She is still very much in the limelight, thank you very much! She was on Good Afternoon America before it got shitcanned! She’s got TV projects going somewhere about things! And hey! Ever heard of a little site called TWITTER? She’s HUGE there!
What she does miss are the great relationships she had on the show. She’s even made up with Ramona! They saw each other at a luncheon (Groupon plastic surgeon) in the Hamptons (Queens) and decided to be nice to each other in public. Sure, Mario physically abused her later at a party, but Jill’s kept her side of the bargain. Calling someone’s husband abusive on national television isn’t against the rules of a truce, right?
She assures Andy that the confrontation was super dramatic, and those darned Bravo cameras weren’t even there to capture her anger! Does he regret his decision now? DOES HE? I googled “regret” and this came up:
In other words, SHUT UP.
He whips out a giant can of salt and starts spooning it into her gaping Bethenny wound. He says her “persona took a hit” after what she did to ole B, and Jill agrees, but blames it on Bravo’s editing. They had given Bethenny her own show, which made it important for B to look good and for Jill to look bad. So all those memories we may have of Jill turning cruelly against her supposed best friend over jealousy and treating her like total shit on national tv for no reason? They’re in our head. BRAVO IMPLANTED THOSE MEMORIES.
Jill’s off her fucking rocker now, and Andy looks like Nina Garcia after ingesting a baby arm. In case you don’t watch Project Runway, that means he’s happy but not full enough to not go for a leg.