Jill Z on Watch What Happens Recap: SHUT UP, JILL ZARIN!!!

Recaps

By Flipit | Tuesday, October 16, 2012 | 2:13 am | 44 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of NYC, Recaps

Jill ends her positive rant by saying she’s all about family, unlike her replacement HEATHER who isn’t even a real Jew! Where was Heather’s apartment this season? Where was her husband? Her kids? Andy gently reminds her that we met her kid and husband, but Jill isn’t hearing. I wish she would shut up long enough for Andy to innocently point out that Heather has not only a son, but a super sick one that had to get full body transplants or some shit. That probably STILL wouldn’t shut Jill up.

Screen Shot 2012-10-16 At 1.59.10 Am
I will give you this chicken wing if you learn how to say “I like you better than Bethenny” in English. On Twitter.

Andy (and America) doesn’t get why she is comparing herself to Heather. Cuz she has a Spanx knockoff company like Jill? But that’s different! Heather actually sells stuff. Jill says that Heather is her replacement because they’re both the voices of reason. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Jill Zarin, I don’t think anyone has told you this enough in your life. You’re fucking INSANE. Get some help before you hurt someone. I know you’re reading this cuz you’re in the tags and you read everything you’re tagged in. Now step away from the computer, dye your hair, change your name, and go somewhere no one knows English so they can’t be tortured by your endless gushing rivers of BULLCRAP! SHUT. UP.

Andy stops himself from laughing at her “voice of reason” comment, and I’m starting to think he might be getting to be really good at his job. Or maybe I’m just finally seeing the talent that’s always been there? His uncomfortable stupidity is just an act to keep these idiots rambling on like crazy people. I take back every bad thing I ever…I forgot what I was saying. Anyway, Andy asks Jill if she misses the limelight.

HOW DARE YOU SIR?!?! Jill IS big! It’s the PICTCHAS that got small!

Screen Shot 2012-10-16 At 2.01.03 Am

She is still very much in the limelight, thank you very much! She was on Good Afternoon America before it got shitcanned! She’s got TV projects going somewhere about things! And hey! Ever heard of a little site called TWITTER? She’s HUGE there!

What she does miss are the great relationships she had on the show. She’s even made up with Ramona! They saw each other at a luncheon (Groupon plastic surgeon) in the Hamptons (Queens) and decided to be nice to each other in public. Sure, Mario physically abused her later at a party, but Jill’s kept her side of the bargain. Calling someone’s husband abusive on national television isn’t against the rules of a truce, right?

She assures Andy that the confrontation was super dramatic, and those darned Bravo cameras weren’t even there to capture her anger! Does he regret his decision now? DOES HE? I googled “regret” and this came up:

Screen Shot 2012-10-16 At 2.02.25 Am
In other words, SHUT UP.

He whips out a giant can of salt and starts spooning it into her gaping Bethenny wound. He says her “persona took a hit” after what she did to ole B, and Jill agrees, but blames it on Bravo’s editing. They had given Bethenny her own show, which made it important for B to look good and for Jill to look bad. So all those memories we may have of Jill turning cruelly against her supposed best friend over jealousy and treating her like total shit on national tv for no reason? They’re in our head. BRAVO IMPLANTED THOSE MEMORIES.

Screen Shot 2012-10-16 At 2.04.31 Am

Jill’s off her fucking rocker now, and Andy looks like Nina Garcia after ingesting a baby arm. In case you don’t watch Project Runway, that means he’s happy but not full enough to not go for a leg.

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Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

44 Comments

  1. 1
    LaurenB52
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 2:56 am

    Jill will never never never be over her firing until she feels ‘vindicated’. The only way that’ll happen is if she’s asked back to the show which is what it seemed like she was hinting at during the ratings convo.

    Comparing her to Norma Desmond is spot on. I think she feels she had it all and lost it when the Bethenny situation went awry and she probably sits and analyzes the moment it slipped through her fingers over and over. She is obsessed! I aalllmost felt pity for her but its clear that she still wants to throw digs at Bethenny and Ramona after all this time while feigning a truce and forgiveness, so no. No sympathy for Jill Zarin. Doesn’t she have Bawby’s millions to dry her tears?

  2. 2
    Katie
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 6:36 am

    It is pretty pathetic when all you have going in your life is begging to be taken seriously as a “celebrity” when your 15 minutes are up. Like Kate Gosselin, this non talent refuses to give up.

    I found myself laughing out loud as she enumerated the number of followers she has on Twitter, Facebook, and the amount of e-mail she receives from all over the world on a daily basis. I have no idea what this was supposed to prove since Bravo has no intention of inviting her back. In the words of Joe Guidice: “who cares?”.

    The truth is that if not for the “Housewives” franchises, none of these dimwits would be known outside of their own families. But once they are touched by the hot light of whatever passes for “fame” for these wannabes, it is just too enticing to let it go.

    Jill Zarin saw herself as a “star” and once that coveted place on this show was yanked out from under her she refuses to accept the inevitable: nobody cares!

  3. 3
    lindaw205
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 6:42 am

    Why can’t this Andy show up for the reunions?

  4. 4
    featherhead
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 6:52 am

    Hey Jill – Get A Hobby!!!! I wish he would have brought up Amazongate complete with Susan Sanders, lmao! I only watched the first five minutes, but I can’t wait to go home and finish it. She is such a narcasitic control freak. She made up story lines for the show to follow? The B fight was fake, but she “forgot” to tell Bethanny? How about the big stink she made that Bawby was in the hospital and B only sent flowers? But she “forgot” to tell B about his procedure? I could go on and on. HATE HER!!

  5. 5
    cherrylipgloss
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 6:56 am

    This woman keeps score like no other…

  6. 6
    Katie
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 7:11 am

    When they are hired onto these franchises they are part of an ensemble. But after a season or two they begin to believe they ae worthy of their own break out shows where the “fabulousness” is on display. Bethenny Frankel is actually the only one who has managed to make good in this arena.

    Yet Jill Zarin, Alex McCord, Lisa vanderPump, Teresa Guidice, Caroline Manzo, et al, become convinced that their “aura” has out achieved their castmates and they should be rewarded with talk shows and contracts based on nothing more than their individual personalities. Even that idiot, Taylor Armstrong, feels entitiled to her own show where she “advises’ victims of domestic abuse. Give me a break!

    Without the ensemble they are basically non talented women who come to believe in their own publicity.

    Even Bethenny Frankel won’t last for long even given a talk show of her own. There is just “no there there” when all is said and done and the public moves on to the “next best thing”.

  7. 7
    giffordsaz
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 7:42 am

    I woke up in the middle of the night and read your post on FB. I could not go back to sleep in anticipation that waited for me on my DVR. At 4 am I got up and watched this show.
    It did not disappoint. Your recap, at 5 pages it equals a recap honey, was spot on. This is the Andy I wish would show up to reunions. He should go one on one for the reunions or just let the animals mud wrestle, there is not much difference from what we have to watch now.

    Jill Zarin, on the other hand, should not be allowed to grace the Bravo Club House, Studios, or I would go as far, New York City. If I never have to see or hear her again I will send someone money.. anyone money. This last ditch effort to appear relevant is so sad to see, but I do not feel sad for her. This just seals my disgust. Jill Zarin is a narcissist of the highest degree. Everything that was or has happened on the Housewives of New York City revolved around or because of her? Ugh. And her envy of Bethany is so evident and insane. The only reason I hope she gets a third chance somewhere else — to see her fail there also. Not that I will watch her up close.. but I will read about her here.

  8. 8
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 7:50 am

    “She’s making jewelry now….” ( In my best Carrie Brownstein voice)

  9. 9
    Gma96793
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 8:22 am

    I could not watch then whole show..it made my stomach turn! Especially when Jill was saying Andy liked Bethany better! She later twitted with more proof…he had a bottle of skinny girl up in his clubhouse for A YEAR!!!!! Horrors! Get over yourself Jill…… We certainly have!!!!!

  10. 10
    trkaelin
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 8:29 am

    Oh my GAWD. I am so fucking sorry I missed this………..

  11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 8:32 am

    Oh Lordy— I did not watch b/c she makes me cringe. But now with a pint of wine by by side I will watch this. I hope Jill is reading this right now.

    The recap was awesome in its awesomeness. I feel very prepared.

    Oh Jill…..JillJillJillJillJillJill…..Jill. Time to just go away–she is Norma Desmond. I bet Bawby is all her FB friends and Twitter followers. Isnt her sister a shrink???? Call your sis Jill.!!!!!!!!!
    And trhis could her own feeble and desperate attempt to get something going for herself–she and bawby were prolly rejected from Couples Therepy.

  12. 12
    Job Sucks, On break
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 8:50 am

    Hi, there is a rumor on twitter going around on twitter that JIll secretly taped her interview with BravoAndy ?
    Jill ZarinVerified ‏@Jillzarin

    Did @WendyShow just talk about last night @bravoandy?
    Details

    Reply
    Retweet
    Favorite

    carol daley carol daley ‏@caroldaley

    @Jillzarin @WendyShow @BravoAndy yes and it wasn’t very flattering. She said you secretly taped the whole interview w/o Andy knowing.

  13. 13
    Job Sucks, On break
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 8:50 am

    I am trying to ask sites this. But no one will post my comment. This is not cool.

  14. 14
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 8:58 am

    I was totally gonna watch this but, now I’m not.

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 9:18 am

    Teresa in a few years?

  16. 16
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 10:02 am

    What was with Andy acting exactly the way I wish he would for the reunions? I guess you have to fire a bitch first.

    What a fucking certifiable nut. I felt like a Scanner with my head exploding. I thought Kelly was the craziest one, but apparently Jill is crazier. I think Jill fucked with Kelly’s empty little head so that Kelly’s psychosis would outshine her own. Next up, Aviva. She’s almost there.

    Here’s the thing with Ramona – yes, she’s a Pinot-enraged maniac, but at least she knows it. My therapist (I have one because I’m crazy as well) says that the craziest people are the ones who don’t even know it. That’s Jill.

  17. 17
    Stuffed
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 10:07 am

    She made a complete fool of herself(as per usual) and pretty much proved Bravos decision to dump her, to be a correct one. Wow..just wow. All i could think was, how much she will regret this, once the haze she lives in, clears up. Like calling an ex, say you’re over him but maybe we could just meet one last time and talk?..Not that I’ve ever done that..

    Great recap btw!

  18. 18
    DidiPie
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 10:30 am

    I learned a lot from watching the show.On National TV Jill said she set up the fight she had with Bethany because she felt it would sky rocket the ratings and it back fired in her face because she never clued Bethany in on it and Andy agreed and said to her, I told you at the time maybe you should not do it. BAM ,these reality so called shows are all staged and it was proven on this episode of Andy Cohen dumb talk show. So I was happy that I watched it.

  19. 19
    Marie Antoinette Jr.
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 11:03 am

    Poor Jill. Stuffed (@15) is right. This interview was like a pathetic drunk dial, begging an ex for a booty call. It was hard to watch.
    I feel so sorry for her daughter.

  20. 20
    Pegalicious
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Oh, Flipit, you have a way with words that the Bard would admire: “He whips out a giant can of salt and starts spooning it into her gaping Bethenny wound.” I can now go about my work day with smile… and maybe a bit of a smirk…

  21. 21
    NotAlway'sPerfekt
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 11:37 am

    The only word that comes to mind and one Aviva would spell out is… D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L!
    Stuffed @15, I love your analogy about calling the ex (never done that either)! LOL!

  22. 22
    kdognatl
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 11:59 am

    Flipit you are awesome! HILARIOUS! Now I don’t even feel the need to watch this. Well done.

  23. 23
    wow
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    So excited to read a recap of this, it was too good not to acknowledge. The whole time I kept thinking, wait Jill used to be one of my favorite housewives (first NY season), how could that be??? She’s reached new levels of insanity and self-absorption!

  24. 24
    polk8dot
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    I could not believe my eyes when in the first closeup of her, Shrill looked directly into the camera, and made a point of showing off the stem glass in her hand. That f-ing thing had ‘Jill Zarin some shit or other’ embossed on it, in a HUGE square logo that just happened to be positioned perfectly to face the camera head on. So now she makes housewares, too?
    Looks like she took Betheny’s words to heart and found herself a hobby. It is quite undeniable that her one and only hobby is HERSELF. There is no shame in this bitch at all. So it’s not enough that she floods the web with pictures, posed in front of some store’s display, where ‘serendipitously’ her ‘jeeewllleeeeeerrryyyyyyyy line’ of shit is prominently placed; now she puts her name on anything anyone can ever photograph her with? Then I guess her whole house must be a love ode to herself, with ‘JILL ZARIN’s SHIT’ stamped on her wine glasses, on her silverware and plates, on her clothing, and hopefully – finally appropriately – on her toilet paper. That would be the only product I might ever consider buying from her.
    Also, I almost died when she tried to convince Andy that her face morphing into a 30-year old was all thanks to the Omega 3s she was taking for tennis elbow! BWahahahhahahahahaha….. She is just like TreApe – she consciously believes that as long as SHE says something that makes it true and real, and nobody would ever question it.
    It was awesome to watch her try to convince Andy to give her the job back, and then cover up for the disappointment when he clearly did not want to bite. The only downside is that she’s already been ‘dining out on this interview’ for at least a week or more, and now she’s going to stretch that for another month. I took a look at her FB this morning and it is amazing how many places she’s been to/going to, to ‘discuss her WWHL visit’.
    NARCISSIST NUTJOB!
    P.S. I’m really happy for Betheny that she got this psycho out of her life. It was absolutely fantastic to hear Shrill Zarin take complete credit for B’s show being a success. LMAO

  25. 25
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    Does anyone else thing that first picture of Jill on page one looks like she’s on an episode of the show Snapped?

  26. 26
    fancyface
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    So glad you recapped this shit show because A. There’s NOTHING like a Flipit recap. You sir…are King err Queen (?) I don’t know, I’m confused! B. I didn’t know how to process it. I felt sad for her but in a funny way. I didn’t understand what was going on & why. I don’t get why she thought this was a good idea. I don’t know why she was smirking as if she was making valid points while sounding like a complete MORON!

    Once it was over I realized I was clutching on to a teddy bear for dear life and rocking back & forth in confusion.

  27. 27
    featherhead
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    @Fancyface – word to your entire post. What was her purpose for doing the show? Did she expect Andy to say “we totally made a mistake in firing you. Please, please come back “? She made an ass out of herself – again.

  28. 28
    CynTV CynTV
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    You are on a tear (as in rip), Flip!!! I was initially angry when you had Jill on Watch What Crappens, because I hate her with a gleeful passion, but I’m glad to see that you hate her just as much as I do. Thank God, because if you liked her, I couldn’t ever take you for my gay hubby.

    I love, love, love when she accuses and accuses and accuses, and then ends with, “but I’ve let it all go.” If you’ve let it all go, bitch, YOU WOULDN’T BE TALKING TO ANDY!!!!

    Did she really say that she “pitched the fight idea” to Bravo?? I thought this was a REALITY show. And let me tell you – I remember Bethenny looking pretty upset at Jill’s accusations. Nice touch, Jill. What a good person you are.

    Jill, my darling – the only way you’ll be in the limelight ever again is the following way:

    1 – Buy light.
    2 – Buy lime.
    3 – Attach lime to lamp.
    4 – Stand under lamp.

  29. 29
    labowner
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    Gypsy I thought she looked like a kewpie doll.

  30. 30
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    Flipit you shredded her!! Absolutely awesome!!

    For those who want Andy to be like this on the reunion shows, one question..why would he? Isn’t he capitalizing off of their bad behavior? Doesn’t the polarizing effect the HWives have on viewers lead to more tweets, blogs, comments, recaps, ratings, and therefore, advertising dollars? If he were to “take a HWife to task” for her behavior and let her know that he didn’t want her to repeat it, then what will we end up with the following season? It would be like this season of RHoNYC before Aviva showed her crazy. The originals ladies were all toxic bitches last season, but after the big cast shakeup due to the negative reactions to all the “toxicity” they dialed it back big time. They were almost too polite and it got boring. Then Aviva went crazy and BAM!…people are talking again. Andy is smart..he knows what he is doing. Only tell them they suck when their suckage no longer benefits you.

  31. 31
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    Newsflash to Jill Zarin: ANDY IS HAVING “LC’ aka LAUREN CONRAD AS A SOLO GUEST TONIGHT YOU MENTAL PATIENT.

    I didn’t actually watch labowner, Flip’s pic reminded me of it.

  32. 32
    annie Annie
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    DAMN IT why did I miss this?!?!?!?!! And I checked, Bravo won’t be showing a re-run anytime in the next day or so. WHY GOD WHYYYY???

    Thanks for capping this. I also really enjoyed the cell phone pics from the laptop. Gave a very psycho Jill Zarin vibe. Perrrrrrrfect

  33. 33
    bubblesballentine
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 6:42 pm

    Holy delusion-balls, Batman.

    And I’m SO not ready for this shrew’s ‘close-up’, Mr. DeMille!

  34. 34
    EarPlugged
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    Because her voice makes me sick, I activiated “MUTE.” A blind man could read her pathology.

  35. 35
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    Jill’s Delusiona enough to be on Teen Mom!

    Andy doesn’t seem smart, but he really…likes diamond Pez dispensers shaped like Snoopy

    @Flipit I think they’re going to make college kids in 2112 write book reports about you.

    LuAnn’s affair? It “keeps her relevant for next season.” What a sad, sick way to think.

    I bet it’s the 1 thing she said Andy agreed with though. In his secret heart. And maybe a couple of production meetings.

  36. 36
    SarahRita
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    Jill is the epitome of bitterness…

    My jaw dropped when she admitted to deliberately starting beef with B so they could have their “TV moment”. I mean how could you not see anything wrong with that statement? I am not a fan of Adiva, but I will take her over this broad any day of the week. Also I love Heather, she is much classier than Jill will ever be.

    As for Jill comparing her and Bethenny’s relationship to Bethenny and Jason’s MARRIAGE is completely delusional…

  37. 37
    SarahRita
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    Annie,

    Go to YouTube and type in “Jill Zarin on WWHL” or something and the episode pops up.

  38. 38
    MrsMiaWallace MrsMiaWallace
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Flipit, I was hoping so hard that you would cover this!!!! Hilarious hilarious hilarious!

    @Katie post #2 – Joe G would say “Who friggin’ cares” and you are right on

    I think Andy just did this to toy with Jill and humiliate her. She has no self-awareness and thinks this was a great platform to force her pointy mug back on TV and can’t realize we are all laughing AT her. I do love her candor though, she has always claimed to “tell it like it is” and ratting herself out for devising plot arcs and pitching them is so self-destructive and soooo delicious. For my own amusement, I hope she never changes!

    The funniest part to me was that as they went over the cast and the state of her relationships with Ramona or Alex at the end of her season, I realized I could not remember any of the battles or little intrigues, besides the big Bethanny blowup of course which was already done. I literally had no idea who she fought with or was friends with or what she did at all on that season. If she thinks fans are still lingering around pining for her she needs a reality check because she is forgotten.

  39. 39
    Mimo
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Was flipping channels the other night and came across Simon and Alex on some relationship show. Wonder if this set her off?

  40. 40
    Dawn
    Posted October 18, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    Who are you and what have you done with Andy Cohen!?

    Seriously, Andy was great, but I don’t think he can bring it this way when he’s up against 4 or 5 insane bitches – though Jill probably counts for 2, at least. I also think Andy KNEW he had gold on his hands with this appearance by this lunatic, and just let her fly – there was very little he had to do – except zing her in ways too subtle for her big mouth to comprehend.

    Though, can I say, I DO watch the Housewives because of their insanity, I have to admit, while watching her car wreck (Mercedes) of an appearance, a part of me does miss this most trouble-making of bitches.

  41. 41
    Too-Old-To-Care
    Posted October 18, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    Early on, Jill tells Andy how people stop her on the street to ask how’s your daughter, how’s your mom, how’s your sister, how’s Bawbie’s health. Andy moves on without comment.

    Later, Andy asks, “how’s your daughter, how’s your mom, how’s your sister, how’s Bawbie’s health” and she appears flattered that he cares so much, blissfully unaware that he’s totally mocking her!

  42. 42
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted October 25, 2012 at 7:13 am

    I think Andy cannot treat the ladies like he treated Jill because they work for him. I assume that might be a hostile environment to some.

    Jill got a ticket to crazy town and went first class. Jill needs to be more in tune with the viewers. No one likes Aviva or George so they are NOT your ticket to get back on the show. Heather has alot of fans and dissing her was NOT the way to get back on the show.

    I think Jill went on the WWHL because she thought ratings would soar and Andy would HAVE to want her back because of course that’s what the people want, but what she doesn’t realize is that we are laughing at her and looking at the crazy train. (all aboard ha ha ha ha ha)

  43. 43
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 25, 2012 at 7:42 am

    Nice Ozzy ref Classy!

  44. 44
    Penny
    Posted January 5, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Who is jill zarin?

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