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Monday, February 4, 2013
12:00 pm
9 Comments
This week on Kitchen Nightmares, we’re in the charmingly named town of Beaver, PA, to watch Gordon boggle over the disaster that is Levanti’s Italian restaurant. After graduating college, where he probably majored in something entirely unrelated to food or restaurants, Dino for some reason decided the restaurant business was for him. So his dad, Tony, fronted the money for him and his sister Tina, a florist, to open up the place.
Tina, honey, you should’ve stuck with flowers.
Apparently, the presence of other restaurants within a ninety mile radius gives people dining options other than this shithole, so the place is a ghost town. Sure, blame the economy. Servers Janay and Sam know that Levanti is a disaster no matter who else is running businesses nearby, because Tina sucks as a manager and Dino is a clueless tool who always looks like he just woke up from a bender and is trying to remember what month it is. I mean, she didn’t say it exactly like that, but it was easy enough to read between the lines.
Instead of working, Dino and Tina spend most of the time bickering like the siblings they are, neither giving a fuck about what he other one thinks, to the point where Dino actually bailed for over a year, leaving Tina to take charge on her own. He came back eventually, I guess so they can run the place into the ground together, the way a family should. Tony tells us he’ll lose about $250k if the place shuts down.
But that’s why they’re bringing in Gordon! Tina is practically in tears just seeing him walk in the door. He sits down with the two and finds out that Tina essentially shut down her flower shop out of a sense of obligation to help Dino realize his dream. That’s nice and all, but I’d think a situation like that would breed some resentment, especially since the Tony-shaped wallet is about to run dry.
At least she can fall back on selling flowers when this place is shitcanned. Dino, I’m afraid you’re screwed.
Tina says Dino is the problem, Dino says Tina is and they immediately start fighting about who’s the bigger fuck up. Gordon is not impressed when he hears that Dino took a long hiatus, and he’s equally un-thrilled with Tina’s 25-hour-a-week schedule. Gordon seems to be tuning out as the two bicker over stupid shit and accuse the other of not working.
But he hasn’t seen anything yet. Sam takes Gordon’s order, explaining to him that one of the sauce recipes came to Dino in a dream. That should be delicious, and not taste at all like the product of a semi-lucid mind. While the chefs are busy preparing Gordon’s slop, Gordon starts eating off other people’s plates, discovering for himself that the olive oil dipping sauce is horrible and served out of filthy bottles. Also, the dessert displays consist of crusty, two month old tiramisu that has literally turned to stone. I wouldn’t eat it, but it makes a pretty impressive clinking sound when you bang it against a plate!
Maybe Gordon can get some of that maraca meatloaf from last week and start himself a one-man band.
9 Comments
I hate episodes like this, where the kids basically crap all over their parents hard work and generosity.
I don’t see this restaurant lasting. Dino just isn’t all there.
“. . . people who don’t specifically train for the restaurant business have no business opening a damn restaurant.”
I like to think that “Mildred Pierce” could be a true story.
First off—must just get this out there—I had no idea that tirmisu could get that ………dry. And the olive oil with all those crumbs—dont we all just know that this crew reuses the oil—reuse what the customer doesnt finish—yikes– back to reading
And done!!!!—great recap BlueCanary!!!!!!!!!
I am with you Sagi–poor Tony and his deep pockets. I wonder if he staked Tina in her flower shop???? I think no-there is hella resentment floating around that restaurant with the flies and God knows what else.
Cranky– Mildred Pierce is Joan so awesome–and would love to see it on Broadway. Did not see the Kate Winslet mini-series in total. I agree –did this clown wake up one morning and say “I want to be a restauranteur” and then voila!!!! Dad ponies up for one. If so I was born into the wrong family—I want to be in my own B’way show and dont see Mr Cawfee or Papa Cawfee funding that.
I got a chill when Gordon showed the vat of moldy sauce and one server thought the mold was basil (or another herb)——Lordy
One thing I like to do is speculate on what we dont see and what is unsaid—-I agree that Dino the Clown has had some issues with some substance—-he looks hung-over. Maybe that was why he walked away for a couple of years. I dont remember seeing any bottles stashed about the kitchen—thats something I look for b/c I am nice girl. I also dont see Mom or a wife for Dino.
Next week looks delightful!!!!!
How does this guy own a resturant for 14 years and not know how to expedite the tickets? I call bs on that too. I felt so bad for the Dad, he should have closed it and walked away from those two clowns. Totally ovy that they don’t appreicate the Father. And what did that clown do when he left for over a year? Work? Learn how to run a resturant? Sat on his fat ass? I vote #3.
Feather—maybe when God expedited while giving Dino the sauce recipe?????
Gotta love God for multi-tasking
Okay well obviously Dino and Tina are a couple of idiots. And that apology they gave their dad was some bullshit. I wonder what kind of stuff he’s let them get away with over the years to the point where they were perfectly content to wipe their asses with his money and drive his investment straight into the ground. Both of them needed their ass beat. Before anything else, the dad needed to send them outside, tell them to cut some switches, and proceed to thoroughly whup their asses so they could learn something. If that’s how they keep a restaurant, God knows how their houses and kitchens are at home. Filth and mold every damn where….I got a damn attitude just watching it. I can’t imagine if I had been there eating that junk.
And the owners were one thing, but the line cooks were to be blamed too. The chicken was slimy and smelling! Why were they putting it on the grill?! I know they could smell it and feel it…rotten chicken is very distinct. And the sauce was moldy. They knew that shit was moldy, they saw the mold. What was stopping them from surreptitiously dumping it and putting a fresh batch? Like come on.
At this point, I really feel like Kitchen Nightmares doesn’t really need to be happening. Like, if your restaurant is failing that badly, it’s definitely one (or all) of these things:
1. It’s dirty as fuck in that bitch. Clean that shit up NOW before you kill someone or maybe even everyone by cultivating a new superstrain of botulism.
2. You freeze or improperly store all your food and it’s nasty as fuck. Stop freezing your food and make it fresh.
3. You or your chef’s recipes/practices suck. Go buy the Joy of Cooking and watch some Food Network, so your asses can learn to cook.
4. You’re an insufferable, stupid, and/or stubborn twat. Go sit your ass down someplace so people can get shit done correctly.
That’s pretty much it, problem solved.
I don’t care how many improvements Gordon made–I would never, ever eat in a place run by people who let things get so nasty. The staff might have cleaned things up initially, but I doubt that changed the owners’ original slovenly ways. I’d bet money that there’s something festering in Dino’s kitchen AT THIS VERY MINUTE, which he will surreptitiously clear away before Gordon comes back for the follow up.
I actually went to a restaurant in NOLA that Gordan had been to. When I saw it on the show, I was amazed, it was absolutely filthy and gross, and the owners were morons, but when we ate there it was lovely, clean, good food. One of the nicest meals we had in New Orleans. I think it was about 5 months after he had been there. I couldn’t imagine eating at Dinos and then seeing the way they work, make you puke!!!