This week on Kitchen Nightmares, we’re in the charmingly named town of Beaver, PA, to watch Gordon boggle over the disaster that is Levanti’s Italian restaurant. After graduating college, where he probably majored in something entirely unrelated to food or restaurants, Dino for some reason decided the restaurant business was for him. So his dad, Tony, fronted the money for him and his sister Tina, a florist, to open up the place.
Tina, honey, you should’ve stuck with flowers.
Apparently, the presence of other restaurants within a ninety mile radius gives people dining options other than this shithole, so the place is a ghost town. Sure, blame the economy. Servers Janay and Sam know that Levanti is a disaster no matter who else is running businesses nearby, because Tina sucks as a manager and Dino is a clueless tool who always looks like he just woke up from a bender and is trying to remember what month it is. I mean, she didn’t say it exactly like that, but it was easy enough to read between the lines.
Instead of working, Dino and Tina spend most of the time bickering like the siblings they are, neither giving a fuck about what he other one thinks, to the point where Dino actually bailed for over a year, leaving Tina to take charge on her own. He came back eventually, I guess so they can run the place into the ground together, the way a family should. Tony tells us he’ll lose about $250k if the place shuts down.
But that’s why they’re bringing in Gordon! Tina is practically in tears just seeing him walk in the door. He sits down with the two and finds out that Tina essentially shut down her flower shop out of a sense of obligation to help Dino realize his dream. That’s nice and all, but I’d think a situation like that would breed some resentment, especially since the Tony-shaped wallet is about to run dry.
At least she can fall back on selling flowers when this place is shitcanned. Dino, I’m afraid you’re screwed.
Tina says Dino is the problem, Dino says Tina is and they immediately start fighting about who’s the bigger fuck up. Gordon is not impressed when he hears that Dino took a long hiatus, and he’s equally un-thrilled with Tina’s 25-hour-a-week schedule. Gordon seems to be tuning out as the two bicker over stupid shit and accuse the other of not working.
But he hasn’t seen anything yet. Sam takes Gordon’s order, explaining to him that one of the sauce recipes came to Dino in a dream. That should be delicious, and not taste at all like the product of a semi-lucid mind. While the chefs are busy preparing Gordon’s slop, Gordon starts eating off other people’s plates, discovering for himself that the olive oil dipping sauce is horrible and served out of filthy bottles. Also, the dessert displays consist of crusty, two month old tiramisu that has literally turned to stone. I wouldn’t eat it, but it makes a pretty impressive clinking sound when you bang it against a plate!
Maybe Gordon can get some of that maraca meatloaf from last week and start himself a one-man band.