Kitchen Nightmares Recap: But Are The Bottles Clean?

Recaps

By BlueCanary | Monday, February 25, 2013 | 8:26 am | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Kitchen Nightmares, Recaps

Gordon seems to be craving some California sunshine this season, because on this week’s Kitchen Nightmares he’s back in the LA area, telling folks how it’s done at Nino’s Risorante. Owners Inge and Vincenzo opened and ran the restaurant together when they came to America about a billion years ago, and according to daughter Carina, things were great until Vincenzo’s retirement. He’s not young anymore, and is suffering the onsets of dementia. Aw. Unfortunately for the business, things got left in the hands of his eldest son, Nino. His younger (translation: you’re not inheriting a damn thing, kid) son Michael thinks Nino sucks shit at the job, and it’s not just envy speaking. He’s definitely not the only one who notices something off about Nino’s work ethic.

If by “off” you mean “nonexistent,” which Michael and I do. I should add that Michael looks a bit insane, so make of that what you will.

Nino appears to be the typical crappy manager, who mainly sits in the office and watches TV while Carina and Michael run the place and resent Nino more and more every day for what he’s putting their mother through. Even Inge admits that if Nino weren’t her son, she’d have pink-slipped him ages ago. However, the blood bond seems to be strong, because she’d rather keep funneling her retirement fund into the restaurant instead of kicking Nino out on his lazy bum ass. She’s a nicer mother than I am.

But Gordon is not! And here he comes! He immediately does not care for the décor or the crapton of empty wine bottles suspended from the ceiling, but is his usual charming self as he meets Inge and the siblings. I dig the cut of Michael’s jib already, because he knows Nino is full of shit and that Gordon will sniff it out.

When asked, Nino claims the food rates 10 on a scale of 10, which is Kitchen Nightmarese for “looks and tastes like something scraped out the inner rim of a dance club toilet.” We learn that Michael and Carina both have other careers and basically spend their spare time helping out and picking up Nino’s slack, which explains why they have very little trouble calling him out when he claims that he arrives at eight o’clock sharp every morning to spend hours cleaning the restaurant and overseeing all the minutiae. Carina flat out says that Nino doesn’t do any of that stuff and he needs to be in the kitchen expediting things instead of dusting all the surfaces. Nino says he doesn’t go to the kitchen because the chefs don’t want him in there. I’d like to see any chef at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant inform the owner he wasn’t welcome behind the scenes. They could make a whole new series off just that concept.

We could call it Choose the Manner of Your Imminent Death, and it would be a hit on at least two continents. I’ll do the recaps!

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BlueCanary is as unorthodox a blend of optimistic and bitter, laid-back and anxious, motivated and straight up lazy tas one is likely to meet outside an unspecified institution. She spent the past decade holding a variety of job titles, including reporter, tech writer, production manager, and administrative assistant (the go-to job in this economy for folks who just HAD to get that English degree). She is currently living under the tiny yet powerful thumb of an awesome, pint-sized little dude, who wets himself and can't form full sentences (read: stay at home mom). Another tyrannical little thumb is gestating in her womb. She is a regular on The Neutral Corner podcast and blogs at www.mamamuzzle.com. 

Blue's as-yet-unpublished YA novel, The Nature of Echoes, is currently a Quarterfinalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. If you'd like to check it out, a free excerpt is available to download at http://www.amazon.com/Nature-Echoes-ABNA-Entry-ebook/dp/B00B9N3XFQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1363378599&sr=1-1&keywords=eva+gibson+abna.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    caligal
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 11:41 am

    I would so watch Choose the Manner of you Immenient Death. Blue, I bet you could recap the hell out of that show! Back to reading…..

  2. 2
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    The villain doing a complete 180 on a dime is my favorite part of this show.

    It makes you wonder if they called Mike Fleiss in to be a consultant.

  3. 3
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    @kthxbai, I stopped watching this show a couple of seasons ago because the owner would always argue with Ramsay, frequently telling him that he is an idiot and doesn’t know what he is doing, only to, as you say, turn 180 degrees during the last 15 minutes, to gush that Ramsay has shown them the one and only true path to restaurant success.

    Still doing that exact same shit, eh?

  4. 4
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    “We could call it Choose the Manner of Your Imminent Death, and it would be a hit on at least two continents.”

    @caligal: I would TOTALLY watch that show, too!

    I haven’t watched this show regularly in a couple of seasons, much like cranky. I freaking love love LOVE Hell’s Kitchen and Masterchef, though, so those are my Gordon shows.

    However, I’m so glad I just rediscovered the recaps! Yay!

  5. 5
    Dear Crabby
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 6:15 am

    “Choose the Manner of Your Imminent Death” – HAHAHAHA! I’m still laughing about that line. And I would SO watch that show and read your recaps, they would be fantastic.

    Great recap – this family did seriously have some issues. Shocker they haven’t killed Nino and put him in the bolognese.

  6. 6
    hot cawfee
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:14 am

    Michael is awesome–I want to know what his real job is. And calling out Nino on his BS is the best ever!!!!!!! Its obvious there is alot of history here–not just Nino’s substance issues. I think Mom and Dad (who are so cute and I want only good and happy things for them. I got a little teary when I saw Dad out side with his bowl and pasta and glass of wine) footed the bill for rehab (rehabs) and possibly had money stolen by Nino. And thats one of the reasons bro and sis are ready to kill Nino.

  7. 7
    BlueCanary
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:18 am

    Thanks, everyone! Glad you’re enjoying these. This season has some nuts in it for sure. I actually wanted to see more of this family, because we only got a hint of how deep-seated their issues are. I agree we only got to see the surface of these guys.

    I swear, if the networks can make my show idea happen, they will be raking in the cash and the ratings.

  8. 8
    hot cawfee
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:26 am

    YAY Blue C !!!!— Your idea is like Fear Factor meet KN–and I love it!!!!!!!!

    I am wondering if Michael either lost business, a relationship or both with this mess. Inge is the enabling mom who married a much older (and very patriarchal) man. There is more going on with Nino than just substance abuse—he is mentally unstable and that could be why the kitchen staff doesnt want him in the kitchen.

    I concur–this restaurant will close and it should.

  9. 9
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    The photo of GR with the thumbs up and “subtle” made me giggle. *love*

    Great recaps. :)

  10. 10
    WishICouldDance
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 7:24 am

    I am 100% on board with “Imminent Death”! I am waiting for the moment when GR finally looses it with these morons and flings a knife across the kitchen! Now THAT would be some reality tv!!

    I am also over the whole “I don’t want you here, you’re full of crap but wait, you’re my hero!” thing on every single episode. I have never know anyone who can completely change their attitude/personality over the course of a few days and have it stick – its just not believable. Oh, wait! I forgot! It’s reality TV, it’s not supposed to be believable! My bad!!

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