Kitchen Nightmares Recap: But Are The Bottles Clean?

Recaps

By BlueCanary | Monday, February 25, 2013 | 8:26 am | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Kitchen Nightmares, Recaps

Gordon wants to know why Nino isn’t spending his shifts working instead of watching TV the way Michael claims he does. Nino calls Michael a liar, and we randomly find out Nino is both in a recovery program and is a pathological liar. This is great—I haven’t seen a family stand up to each other this eloquently on this show since…ever. Michael is not interested in or intimidated by Nino’s aggressively bald head or the scowl beneath it, and is fine with being the accusatory voice. You go, Michael.

Gordon sits down to try the food and does some more menu proofreading before pulling Michael aside and confirming that Nino lies about as frequently as he opens his mouth. Nino runs right up to point out all the cleaning he does that no one ever sees at eight in the morning, just in time for Gordon to find Violet Beauregard amounts of bubblegum stuck to the underside of his table. Then he gets up and starts pulling down cobwebs from the ceiling and all those myriad bottles. Those things will be the first to go during the remodel, mark my words. Then Nino literally pulls out a stack of photographs OF HIM CLEANING THE CEILING BOTTLES.

Whaaaaaaat?

That is some serious “I did this, here’s the proof” behavior. I guess it proves that the cleaning happened at least once, right? But Inge points out that you shouldn’t need photographic evidence of you doing your work—if your work is done properly, it’ll speak for itself.

Spoken like a true German.

Gordon hates the hell out of his chicken and calls Nino over to touch it, but Nino suddenly has standards and won’t put his unsanitary hands on food in the pristine, cobweb-laced dining room. Gordon tells him he needs to cut the shit, then digs into an aging meatball, which immediately sparks an argument with Nino. Nino insists that the meatball was made two days ago, which Gordon doesn’t believe. He tells him to go check with the chef—if he can overcome his fears of kitchen intrusion, of course. Nino immediately jumps in with “I’m not scared of him. And I’m not scared of you.”

This evolves into a lovely, snarky exchange, during which Gordon basically gives Nino the option of retreating to the kitchen and finding out about the meatball, or staying for a little Ramsay rumble. Nino retreats (good move), and Gordon can’t resist pointing out a grimy bottle over the fish tank.

When Gordon goes into dick mode, he goes there, doesn’t he?

Nino discovers the meatball was actually made five days ago instead of two, which pleases neither him nor Gordon. Gordon insists Nino is in denial and he’s not buying any of the lies about cleaning or food quality. Then there’s a weird exchange when Gordon says something about shitting himself and Nino makes a diaper comment, and things start to take on a sort of mentally unstable sheen. Nino’s so wrapped up in staring down Gordon and making what he clearly thinks is an intimidating and rational point, that Carina has to come over and tell him to settle down. Then Nino accuses Gordon of being the problem in the restaurant. Yes, Nino, your restaurant is failing because Gordon Ramsay sneaks in at night, swaps out crappy food for the good stuff, and hangs cobwebs from all your ceiling bottles. Brilliant. Michael then uses the phrase “mentally unstable” to describe his brother.

Which means Michael and I are in sync, thus far.

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BlueCanary is as unorthodox a blend of optimistic and bitter, laid-back and anxious, motivated and straight up lazy tas one is likely to meet outside an unspecified institution. She spent the past decade holding a variety of job titles, including reporter, tech writer, production manager, and administrative assistant (the go-to job in this economy for folks who just HAD to get that English degree). She is currently living under the tiny yet powerful thumb of an awesome, pint-sized little dude, who wets himself and can't form full sentences (read: stay at home mom). Another tyrannical little thumb is gestating in her womb. She is a regular on The Neutral Corner podcast and blogs at www.mamamuzzle.com. 

Blue's as-yet-unpublished YA novel, The Nature of Echoes, is currently a Quarterfinalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. If you'd like to check it out, a free excerpt is available to download at http://www.amazon.com/Nature-Echoes-ABNA-Entry-ebook/dp/B00B9N3XFQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1363378599&sr=1-1&keywords=eva+gibson+abna.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    caligal
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 11:41 am

    I would so watch Choose the Manner of you Immenient Death. Blue, I bet you could recap the hell out of that show! Back to reading…..

  2. 2
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    The villain doing a complete 180 on a dime is my favorite part of this show.

    It makes you wonder if they called Mike Fleiss in to be a consultant.

  3. 3
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    @kthxbai, I stopped watching this show a couple of seasons ago because the owner would always argue with Ramsay, frequently telling him that he is an idiot and doesn’t know what he is doing, only to, as you say, turn 180 degrees during the last 15 minutes, to gush that Ramsay has shown them the one and only true path to restaurant success.

    Still doing that exact same shit, eh?

  4. 4
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    “We could call it Choose the Manner of Your Imminent Death, and it would be a hit on at least two continents.”

    @caligal: I would TOTALLY watch that show, too!

    I haven’t watched this show regularly in a couple of seasons, much like cranky. I freaking love love LOVE Hell’s Kitchen and Masterchef, though, so those are my Gordon shows.

    However, I’m so glad I just rediscovered the recaps! Yay!

  5. 5
    Dear Crabby
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 6:15 am

    “Choose the Manner of Your Imminent Death” – HAHAHAHA! I’m still laughing about that line. And I would SO watch that show and read your recaps, they would be fantastic.

    Great recap – this family did seriously have some issues. Shocker they haven’t killed Nino and put him in the bolognese.

  6. 6
    hot cawfee
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:14 am

    Michael is awesome–I want to know what his real job is. And calling out Nino on his BS is the best ever!!!!!!! Its obvious there is alot of history here–not just Nino’s substance issues. I think Mom and Dad (who are so cute and I want only good and happy things for them. I got a little teary when I saw Dad out side with his bowl and pasta and glass of wine) footed the bill for rehab (rehabs) and possibly had money stolen by Nino. And thats one of the reasons bro and sis are ready to kill Nino.

  7. 7
    BlueCanary
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:18 am

    Thanks, everyone! Glad you’re enjoying these. This season has some nuts in it for sure. I actually wanted to see more of this family, because we only got a hint of how deep-seated their issues are. I agree we only got to see the surface of these guys.

    I swear, if the networks can make my show idea happen, they will be raking in the cash and the ratings.

  8. 8
    hot cawfee
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:26 am

    YAY Blue C !!!!— Your idea is like Fear Factor meet KN–and I love it!!!!!!!!

    I am wondering if Michael either lost business, a relationship or both with this mess. Inge is the enabling mom who married a much older (and very patriarchal) man. There is more going on with Nino than just substance abuse—he is mentally unstable and that could be why the kitchen staff doesnt want him in the kitchen.

    I concur–this restaurant will close and it should.

  9. 9
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    The photo of GR with the thumbs up and “subtle” made me giggle. *love*

    Great recaps. :)

  10. 10
    WishICouldDance
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 7:24 am

    I am 100% on board with “Imminent Death”! I am waiting for the moment when GR finally looses it with these morons and flings a knife across the kitchen! Now THAT would be some reality tv!!

    I am also over the whole “I don’t want you here, you’re full of crap but wait, you’re my hero!” thing on every single episode. I have never know anyone who can completely change their attitude/personality over the course of a few days and have it stick – its just not believable. Oh, wait! I forgot! It’s reality TV, it’s not supposed to be believable! My bad!!

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