Gordon wants to know why Nino isn’t spending his shifts working instead of watching TV the way Michael claims he does. Nino calls Michael a liar, and we randomly find out Nino is both in a recovery program and is a pathological liar. This is great—I haven’t seen a family stand up to each other this eloquently on this show since…ever. Michael is not interested in or intimidated by Nino’s aggressively bald head or the scowl beneath it, and is fine with being the accusatory voice. You go, Michael.
Gordon sits down to try the food and does some more menu proofreading before pulling Michael aside and confirming that Nino lies about as frequently as he opens his mouth. Nino runs right up to point out all the cleaning he does that no one ever sees at eight in the morning, just in time for Gordon to find Violet Beauregard amounts of bubblegum stuck to the underside of his table. Then he gets up and starts pulling down cobwebs from the ceiling and all those myriad bottles. Those things will be the first to go during the remodel, mark my words. Then Nino literally pulls out a stack of photographs OF HIM CLEANING THE CEILING BOTTLES.
That is some serious “I did this, here’s the proof” behavior. I guess it proves that the cleaning happened at least once, right? But Inge points out that you shouldn’t need photographic evidence of you doing your work—if your work is done properly, it’ll speak for itself.
Spoken like a true German.
Gordon hates the hell out of his chicken and calls Nino over to touch it, but Nino suddenly has standards and won’t put his unsanitary hands on food in the pristine, cobweb-laced dining room. Gordon tells him he needs to cut the shit, then digs into an aging meatball, which immediately sparks an argument with Nino. Nino insists that the meatball was made two days ago, which Gordon doesn’t believe. He tells him to go check with the chef—if he can overcome his fears of kitchen intrusion, of course. Nino immediately jumps in with “I’m not scared of him. And I’m not scared of you.”
This evolves into a lovely, snarky exchange, during which Gordon basically gives Nino the option of retreating to the kitchen and finding out about the meatball, or staying for a little Ramsay rumble. Nino retreats (good move), and Gordon can’t resist pointing out a grimy bottle over the fish tank.
When Gordon goes into dick mode, he goes there, doesn’t he?
Nino discovers the meatball was actually made five days ago instead of two, which pleases neither him nor Gordon. Gordon insists Nino is in denial and he’s not buying any of the lies about cleaning or food quality. Then there’s a weird exchange when Gordon says something about shitting himself and Nino makes a diaper comment, and things start to take on a sort of mentally unstable sheen. Nino’s so wrapped up in staring down Gordon and making what he clearly thinks is an intimidating and rational point, that Carina has to come over and tell him to settle down. Then Nino accuses Gordon of being the problem in the restaurant. Yes, Nino, your restaurant is failing because Gordon Ramsay sneaks in at night, swaps out crappy food for the good stuff, and hangs cobwebs from all your ceiling bottles. Brilliant. Michael then uses the phrase “mentally unstable” to describe his brother.
Which means Michael and I are in sync, thus far.