Kitchen Nightmares Recap: But Are The Bottles Clean?

Recaps

By BlueCanary | Monday, February 25, 2013 | 8:26 am | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Kitchen Nightmares, Recaps

Gordon takes the family into another room and accuses Nino of not taking responsibility for anything except cleaning. And really not even that, because nothing in the place is exactly sparkling clean. Nino clings to his photographic proof, and Michael and Carina inform him, for what I’m sure is not the first time, that cleaning does not equal restaurant management. Gordon tells Nino he needs to stop living in denial and breaking his mother’s heart and bank account. He goes to take a walk, and Nino immediately gets all cranky about being Gordon’s target. Michael jumps on the Gordon train and the whole things devolves into an argument between him, Nino, and Inge, who for some reason tries to remain neutral and stop them from yelling instead of making Nino face up to what everyone else has been saying to him the entire episode. This tells me two things: one, Inge was never the disciplinarian in the family or the restaurant; and two, this business trouble is partially her fault because she’s kept Nino in charge when he clearly is not fit to be.

Gordon suits up in his whites and descends upon the kitchen to fondle a chunk of weird, bread-shaped lasagna that was also made the week before. He makes Nino taste the nasty chicken, which Nino insists tastes good. The upside is that the food leaves the kitchen quickly; the bad news is that it returns almost just as quickly, having been deemed inedible by the customers. Carina rightly believes that it’s Nino’s responsibility to be in the kitchen and regulate the food quality, but that’s hard to do when having lunch on the patio during the midday rush is a much more appealing option. Meanwhile, Gordon is busy yanking everything out of the fridge and finding out that Friday is apparently the only day anything is cooked fresh in that place.

He drags Nino away from his lunch to point out all the things wrong in the walk in, but even when faced with rotten produce and strange buckets of pasta, Nino’s excuses keep flowing. He’s completely in denial, telling Gordon that it’s impossible to do everything right, and he doesn’t have the authority to run things because Inge won’t let him. Inge finally flat out calls him on his lie, and brings up Nino’s relapse and subsequent hospitalization, which he then says she uses against him to withhold management power. I’d use it against him to withhold a paycheck like Sam from last week, but that’s just me. Gordon shoos Nino away and promises Inge he will help her—but he knows this has to start with Nino.

The next day, Gordon lays out his master plan: Nino will keep screwing around as long as he thinks Inge will continue pouring her own money into keeping the doors open, so Gordon and Inge agree to fake a shutdown. They board up the front of the place and position Inge in front of it so Nino will see her when he arrives at eight o’clock sharp to not clean the ceiling bottles. I would laugh so hard if he just saw the boards, paused for a moment, and kept on driving, but he actually parks and confronts Inge, I guess pretending not to notice Gordon’s tall ass squatting covertly a few feet away.

Subtle.

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BlueCanary is as unorthodox a blend of optimistic and bitter, laid-back and anxious, motivated and straight up lazy tas one is likely to meet outside an unspecified institution. She spent the past decade holding a variety of job titles, including reporter, tech writer, production manager, and administrative assistant (the go-to job in this economy for folks who just HAD to get that English degree). She is currently living under the tiny yet powerful thumb of an awesome, pint-sized little dude, who wets himself and can't form full sentences (read: stay at home mom). Another tyrannical little thumb is gestating in her womb. She is a regular on The Neutral Corner podcast and blogs at www.mamamuzzle.com. 

Blue's as-yet-unpublished YA novel, The Nature of Echoes, is currently a Quarterfinalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. If you'd like to check it out, a free excerpt is available to download at http://www.amazon.com/Nature-Echoes-ABNA-Entry-ebook/dp/B00B9N3XFQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1363378599&sr=1-1&keywords=eva+gibson+abna.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    caligal
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 11:41 am

    I would so watch Choose the Manner of you Immenient Death. Blue, I bet you could recap the hell out of that show! Back to reading…..

  2. 2
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    The villain doing a complete 180 on a dime is my favorite part of this show.

    It makes you wonder if they called Mike Fleiss in to be a consultant.

  3. 3
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    @kthxbai, I stopped watching this show a couple of seasons ago because the owner would always argue with Ramsay, frequently telling him that he is an idiot and doesn’t know what he is doing, only to, as you say, turn 180 degrees during the last 15 minutes, to gush that Ramsay has shown them the one and only true path to restaurant success.

    Still doing that exact same shit, eh?

  4. 4
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    “We could call it Choose the Manner of Your Imminent Death, and it would be a hit on at least two continents.”

    @caligal: I would TOTALLY watch that show, too!

    I haven’t watched this show regularly in a couple of seasons, much like cranky. I freaking love love LOVE Hell’s Kitchen and Masterchef, though, so those are my Gordon shows.

    However, I’m so glad I just rediscovered the recaps! Yay!

  5. 5
    Dear Crabby
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 6:15 am

    “Choose the Manner of Your Imminent Death” – HAHAHAHA! I’m still laughing about that line. And I would SO watch that show and read your recaps, they would be fantastic.

    Great recap – this family did seriously have some issues. Shocker they haven’t killed Nino and put him in the bolognese.

  6. 6
    hot cawfee
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:14 am

    Michael is awesome–I want to know what his real job is. And calling out Nino on his BS is the best ever!!!!!!! Its obvious there is alot of history here–not just Nino’s substance issues. I think Mom and Dad (who are so cute and I want only good and happy things for them. I got a little teary when I saw Dad out side with his bowl and pasta and glass of wine) footed the bill for rehab (rehabs) and possibly had money stolen by Nino. And thats one of the reasons bro and sis are ready to kill Nino.

  7. 7
    BlueCanary
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:18 am

    Thanks, everyone! Glad you’re enjoying these. This season has some nuts in it for sure. I actually wanted to see more of this family, because we only got a hint of how deep-seated their issues are. I agree we only got to see the surface of these guys.

    I swear, if the networks can make my show idea happen, they will be raking in the cash and the ratings.

  8. 8
    hot cawfee
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 7:26 am

    YAY Blue C !!!!— Your idea is like Fear Factor meet KN–and I love it!!!!!!!!

    I am wondering if Michael either lost business, a relationship or both with this mess. Inge is the enabling mom who married a much older (and very patriarchal) man. There is more going on with Nino than just substance abuse—he is mentally unstable and that could be why the kitchen staff doesnt want him in the kitchen.

    I concur–this restaurant will close and it should.

  9. 9
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted February 26, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    The photo of GR with the thumbs up and “subtle” made me giggle. *love*

    Great recaps. :)

  10. 10
    WishICouldDance
    Posted March 1, 2013 at 7:24 am

    I am 100% on board with “Imminent Death”! I am waiting for the moment when GR finally looses it with these morons and flings a knife across the kitchen! Now THAT would be some reality tv!!

    I am also over the whole “I don’t want you here, you’re full of crap but wait, you’re my hero!” thing on every single episode. I have never know anyone who can completely change their attitude/personality over the course of a few days and have it stick – its just not believable. Oh, wait! I forgot! It’s reality TV, it’s not supposed to be believable! My bad!!

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