The one thing wee kittens need is fresh Miami air! This somehow leads to pooping, and half-out-the-butt poo. Aw, is that a Bobby & Whitney tribute? Kim asks iPhone Siri what to do. Bwah! Siri says to cut the hair around the cat’s butt. Kim apparently does so with a giant scissors and then congratulates herself on being such a good mom.
Since she’s such a good mother, she should help Kourt… by calling Scott and telling him he really needs to come to this thriving Drunktropolis! “It can’t hurt to try,” she tells him, and the future-cam shows us a shot of a bunch of cops and sirens and general disorder.
Three guesses what they do in the next scene. Yup, eat and talk about Humperdud. I think Khlo is pissing me off more than she’s pissing off Kim.
Hey, Scott is here! He didn’t even take the time to shave and put on real clothes. Or maybe he has to wear a disguise to keep from getting c-notes stuffed in his mouth by random strangers. LD is in the building! Learning Disability? Oh, Lord Disick. Uccch. Well, Mercy likes him. All you theatre majors, Scott is Chekhov’s gun. Kim denies trying to create drama by inviting LD. Scott tries to stay awake days instead of nights, because it’s harder to party by day.
Lord of the Dunce
Kim and Kourtney chastise each other for their respective negligent mothering skills. Again, Mason seems like a regular little boy to me, and I’m kind of impressed.
Enter Jonathan Choadan, because Khlo needs someone else to talk to about how Kim’s not Hump-sessing enough. Choad’s totally yawning with his mouth shut the whole time, but he still calls Kim and picks at her ongoing divorce scab a little. This would have been an awesome time to product-place one of those phones where you can gossip and send an Instagram of a kitteh at the same time. Because Kim has to use two phones to do this like some kind of middle-class person.
Kim: Khlo, leave me alone about Hump.
Khlo: On one condition, which I’ll tell you later.
I think the next scene is out of order, because they Ko and Khlo already have on stupid YOLO pants, before Khlo and Kim are shown buying them. I don’t think even the super-rich need more than 2 pairs of YOLO pants, but I’ve been wrong before. I also read in my local free daily paper that YOLO is dead, and Ks, it’s just sad when you’re behind the Chicago RedEye on trends.
You’re Obviously Ludicrous Often
Khlo makes them all break plates on the balcony to release their Hump-gression, or whatever, and Kim is uncomfortable thinking about all those thousand-dollar place settings that already went back to the store. A shard flies astray and someone loses an eye. That someone is quietly paid a pile of cash to get a glass eye and go away.