Kourtney and Kim Doublecap: Cat Poo and the Scottleganger

Recaps

By CathodeTube | Wednesday, January 23, 2013 | 6:00 am | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Kourtney and Kim, Recaps

The genius sisters take their employees out drinking to celebrate a marginally cleaner Dash. Well, first they drink inside and wake up Lush Disick. He agrees to drive them to get food. Dude, you’re in a hotel, were they make food and serve it to you in bed. They take the cat, who tries in vain to hide under the brake pedal. I’m praying for this cat, you guys. I am also telling myself that there are some show staff hired to quietly feed and hold this cat and wipe its dingleberries and make it happy when no one is looking. I cannot get my mind around the cat being in Kim’s care alone.

Since they only live once, Kim & Khlo decide to get themselves a free beach bag by buying $30 worth of YOLO crap from some store open 24 hours just for drunk shopping. Jon Choadan shows up, and hie-LARIOUS Instagrams are taken… or something. Scott leaves the drunkies, goes home, and gets reamed by Kourtney for drinking he didn’t actually do. Dumbass, party of 2.

Khlo, Kim, bottle service, a man on a pole. Cut to morning. Clothes are drunkenly strewn about. Kim has only ever partied that hard twice.

Because the drinking she did with her old face doesn’t count.

BUT WHERE IS MERCY THE CAT? Raggedy makeupless pajamaed Kim tries to be subtle while looking all over Kourtney’s room, and fails. She admits to the camera that she’s irresponsible. Half a point for temporary self-awareness. They check their phones to see if their pics offer some clues to the whereabouts of the cat. They call Choadan, who laughs at them, and of course he has the cat.

There are about 2,000 unread copies of Kris Jenner’s book in the back of Dash. Ha. The store looks better, but still sort of crappy, so they may have to move.

Khlo tells Kourt to be nicer to Scott, so she ships his Rolls to Miami. He shaves and puts on a suit, the better to stay on the straight ‘n’ narrow with. BTW Scott, YOLO, Khlo tells him. Dun dun dun…

Aaand, there’s an Episode 2! You guys… I thought this was 1/2 hour when I volunteered.

Mason and Khlo talk about boobies and dance in the rain. Mason is cute in his froggie boots, even when Khlo tries to help him off with them and dumps him on the ground.

Love this kid

Kim goes shopping with Scottie Pippen’s wife, Larsa, and their adorable daughter. Larsa thinks Kim’s totally Mommy material. Guess that’s settled.

Fertility doctor stuff. Kim and Khloe have been seeing the same doc. He seems a little snake-oily to me. I’m guessing Khloe rues the day she took the cameras into the exam room with her. I know I do. I can’t unsee that ultrasound of her bladder from that other season.

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CathodeTube

CathodeTube has wanted to be a recapper ever since she read the MightyBigTV interview with Sars and James Van Der Beek. She lives in Chicago with her husband and baby son, and adores hip-hop, cop shows, competitive reality TV, and all foods involving melted cheese. She used to copyedit made-up blogs for the "reputation management" of people who got themselves on The Dirty or Mugshots.com. Turns out google-bombing doesn't work anymore, so now she writes product copy, is much happier, and still wears stretchy pants at all times.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    Pat Ledoux
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 6:40 am

    Excellent job Cat, one minor correction- I beleive when Scott stuffed the money in the Waiter’s mouth, it was in Vegas.

    Anyhoo, I say dump the lot and just show Mason and Scott. mason is adorable and Lord Dick 8is fun to watch!

    Gee, hope Kim doesn’t misplace her spawn like she did her cat!

    I see Kourt is still bossing Scott around, stinky as she is at the moment, what a schmuck. If I was Scott I would tell her to go fuck herself.

    Again, thanks for your recap so i don’t have to watch the entire show, keep up the good snark!

  2. 2
    CathodeTube CathodeTube
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 10:13 am

    Thanks Pat!! For the props and for clearing up Vegas. Past seasons are all one big-butted blur.

  3. 3
    JennBug
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 7:15 pm

    Great recap!! The Kardashians always bring families together!

  4. 4
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 7:45 pm

    “I had no idea that kittens just weren’t already trained to go in their litter box.”
    Kim Kardashian

    We live in a world where that’s a real quote now. These hos aren’t even trying to get people’s disbelief suspended.

    Kourtney’s just now started to notice tending to 2 babies is a lot of work. Most people that’ve got even a little bit of extra $ would just hire staff. Oh wait. They’ve already got like >9000 staff.

    But according to her sisters her sorry ass douchefart of a sperm donor’s the only person in the world that can help her get the stroller out. Maybe it’s 1 of those fancy biometric 1s from Japan. That’s set to his retina molecule secretions or something.

  5. 5
    JennBug
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 9:56 pm

    And who the fuck takes a kitten for a walk in Miami……carrying the poor thing on your shoulder like its an overpriced designer handbag???? No wonder the poor thing went crazy!!

  6. 6
    Considerthis
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 7:03 am

    Question – how pregnant is Kim now? When did they start filming this season? The point is was Kim pulling a bullshit lie by claiming she has fertility issues and might not never get pregnant when she actually was already pregnant? Anybody?

  7. 7
    Pat Ledoux
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    Considerthis, I think she was already knocked up- if indeed she is. I came to realize several years ago that of all these f-ing reality shows, this one is the most staged, and least realistic of all.

    Not sure about the fertility issues; I knoe Khloe has some, but as far as this douchebag, she lies so much she is most likely once again full of shit.

    Just my 2 cents…

  8. 8
    CathodeTube CathodeTube
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    I hope she knows kids aren’t born knowing how to use the toilet! Or maybe I don’t… I read somewhere she was due in July, which means she would have found out in November, or maybe December if she attributed her missed period to her aging womb…

  9. 9
    CathodeTube CathodeTube
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    … and I’m not sure when the show was filmed. Can’t tell seasons in Miami. I’ll find out!

  10. 10
    JennBug
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    I know I am super late on this, but Kim can not let her sisters have anything she doesn’t…….even when it’s fertility problems. Bullshit you’ve been dealing with them for awhile……she is a jealous hag!!!

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