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The genius sisters take their employees out drinking to celebrate a marginally cleaner Dash. Well, first they drink inside and wake up Lush Disick. He agrees to drive them to get food. Dude, you’re in a hotel, were they make food and serve it to you in bed. They take the cat, who tries in vain to hide under the brake pedal. I’m praying for this cat, you guys. I am also telling myself that there are some show staff hired to quietly feed and hold this cat and wipe its dingleberries and make it happy when no one is looking. I cannot get my mind around the cat being in Kim’s care alone.
Since they only live once, Kim & Khlo decide to get themselves a free beach bag by buying $30 worth of YOLO crap from some store open 24 hours just for drunk shopping. Jon Choadan shows up, and hie-LARIOUS Instagrams are taken… or something. Scott leaves the drunkies, goes home, and gets reamed by Kourtney for drinking he didn’t actually do. Dumbass, party of 2.
Khlo, Kim, bottle service, a man on a pole. Cut to morning. Clothes are drunkenly strewn about. Kim has only ever partied that hard twice.
BUT WHERE IS MERCY THE CAT? Raggedy makeupless pajamaed Kim tries to be subtle while looking all over Kourtney’s room, and fails. She admits to the camera that she’s irresponsible. Half a point for temporary self-awareness. They check their phones to see if their pics offer some clues to the whereabouts of the cat. They call Choadan, who laughs at them, and of course he has the cat.
There are about 2,000 unread copies of Kris Jenner’s book in the back of Dash. Ha. The store looks better, but still sort of crappy, so they may have to move.
Khlo tells Kourt to be nicer to Scott, so she ships his Rolls to Miami. He shaves and puts on a suit, the better to stay on the straight ‘n’ narrow with. BTW Scott, YOLO, Khlo tells him. Dun dun dun…
Aaand, there’s an Episode 2! You guys… I thought this was 1/2 hour when I volunteered.
Mason and Khlo talk about boobies and dance in the rain. Mason is cute in his froggie boots, even when Khlo tries to help him off with them and dumps him on the ground.
Kim goes shopping with Scottie Pippen’s wife, Larsa, and their adorable daughter. Larsa thinks Kim’s totally Mommy material. Guess that’s settled.
Fertility doctor stuff. Kim and Khloe have been seeing the same doc. He seems a little snake-oily to me. I’m guessing Khloe rues the day she took the cameras into the exam room with her. I know I do. I can’t unsee that ultrasound of her bladder from that other season.