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Skyline beach porn scene transition! Yay! I can’t say “butt porn” when they show butts as the scene transition. Not the Google results I’m going for. Kourtney’s gonna go on the balcony and
jump do yoga. Mason wants to do downward dog, it appears. Ko wants him to open his third eye. However, he prefers to keep his third eye closed, thank you very much.
Contrast that with the whooping-up that’s happening at Chapman’s at the very same time.
Scott “gets” the lesbians! They “get” him! They’ve all had sex with Tila Tequila! What are the odds?
Kim will get nothing and like it. She’s putting her shoes back on to leave.
Is Kim wearing a leather skirt to a pool party? No wonder she’s gonna go home. I’ll bet the Thighs That Ate New York are chafing like a mofo. And why miss the chance to do hot yoga with Kourt’s non-deodorant wearing ass? Much more fun than hanging out on the Boogie Nights set.
Kourtney and Kim talk on the phone as Kim drives, and Kourt’s whole “why doesn’t he come home to his family?” is too ridiculous to recap in much more detail. Lady, even if you were as interesting as you think you are, dude can’t be with all-you, all-the-time. That’s silly. Also, he’s not even supposed to be in Miami, so how would you rationalize what he was doing not with you if he wasn’t in the city you told him not to come to?
Chin up, Scott. You could be Leif Garrett.
Kourtney’ Skype therapist, or possibly a youtube vid, tells Kourt that she needs to write down her thoughts in emails on her phone but not send them to Scott. Holy kommon sense, Batman. Did that lady just get paid for that? And are pen and paper permitted in rich people land? Just wondering.
The next sequence is awfuller than that oily enema from that other season. Kim goes a-Googling for
homo home homeopathic remedies and finds out that breast milk can cure her psoriasis. Well, on the plus side, it’s bound to have fewer side effects than Enbrel. So like the morally ruptured twatbasket that she is, she steals it. Choadan is her partner in crime, and she camera-talks about stealing from her sisters when she was younger and the thrill of getting away with it, and she’s just a child.
The next morning, Kim’s crack in some see through pjs tells Choad that it’s working, by golly! He tries to convince her to stop the madness, and she indignantly tells the camera that he has no idea what it’s like to have psoriasis and have no other choice but to steal milk from your sister, really from your niece. Choad makes the perfectly logical suggestion that she should just ask Kourt to pump some more. No! says Kim. She hates to pump. How considerate.