Hey Gasmii! Welcome to Episode 8 of Kourtney & Kim Take
Penicillin Dictation a hint and get off my TV Miami. My name is CathodeTube, and I am in hell. I wish this were the BBC, so this would be the last episode of the season.
Our lead-in involves Kim getting her blood
sucked drawn, put in a centrifuge, and then injected back into her face to make her look more like a RealDoll younger. She squeals like a pig, even after telling the facialist to forgo the numbing agent. Kim tells the kam she’s always looking for new kinds of facials. We know. Choadan’s there, too, but not to get a facial. He likes to watch. I think some of his drool may have mixed in with Kim’s blood and gotten injected into her face. I can only assume that was his plan all along.
The city of Miami wants to give Kim and Kourtney the key to the city, because apparently David Caruso was busy or already has one. The city guy mentions he used to be Police Chief and can hook Kim up with a ride-along.
Oh, I’ll bet he can.
Kim tells nobody that she has a sick and twisted fascination with crime. Well okay then. We flash back to this one time when Bruce was getting some hot android action on the side, and Kim donned some aviators and sat in a golf cart and watched. Naturally, this qualifies her for the top-notch gumshoe work she does in the rest of the ep. She says if she wasn’t doing what she’s doing now (which is what, again?) she’d be a cop or a private eye. I’m not even gonna dignify that statement by calling bullshit on it.
Night falls on Miami. Scott reminds Kourtney she’s fat. Actually, she brings it up, and although he is a dick about it, I’m done having sympathy for her because I don’t think she’d be happy with a nice guy, a polite guy, a guy with a job, or a guy with an emotional age above 12. It’s not like she’s trapped in this relationship.
Then she asks if sucking in your cheeks makes your ass look better. I don’t know where she got that idea.
Kim, Choad, and poor Larsa Pippen who has nothing better to do go driving in the bad areas of Miami to prepare for Kim’s ride-along. Actually, they roll in a car while Kim sits in the driver’s seat and messes with her teeth in the rearview mirror. What would be awesome is if they did some property damage due to her bad driving and she went to jail. They stick their expensive phone out the window to photograph some kids jumping a fence. Kim says she’s high off that, then illegally talks on her phone while driving, and again fails to get punished.