Hey Gasmii, it’s that time again! Time for shots of the Miami airport and Kim with a rare messy hairdo! I think she’s trying to tell us she had sex on the plane. Which makes it weird that she doesn’t just come out and say she just had sex on the plane. Anyway, Kauuunye – I hate the way she whinily says his name – took her to Italy and they ruined many a religious landmark with the presence of their ugly mugs and caught it all on camera. Also, Kim made some girl cry, so overcome in the presence this “celebrity.” Oh Kim, you make me cry approximately once a week. And not in a good way. Kourtney’s getting her makeup done as Kim tells her about the Italy trip, so she’s not obligated to pretend she cares with her face, just to grunt periodically, as if she were a husband.
And she can roll her eyes with impunity! Nicely played.
Just throwing this out there, but Roya and/or Shieva from Dash totally have a case for sexual harassment against these three gaping twats (four if you count Scott). Khloe just now at age 30-or-so learned about ben wa balls and wants to share her knowledge with everyone in the room, and she gets “pussy” or possibly the C word bleeped out about 100 times in this scene. I’ve probably known about ben wa balls since before the internet, and maybe I’m advanced, but maybe these girls are also stupid. Khloe… puts them in, gets them stuck, and then Kourtney dislodges them with a slap on the ass, or so we’re supposed to think. Hey, drinking game! Drink every time one of these people acts 12.
If only the dollars that are spent keeping these shitheads on TV could be spent on health care or education…
Momager calls to say that Khloe got the X-Factor job as the Brian Dunkelman to Mario Lopez’s Ryan Seacrest. Everyone squeals and Khloe says she’s nervous, and later she falls on the floor. They show about 60 seconds of a chaotic backstage, which I’m guessing Cowell & Co. got paid for, and I’m going to venture another guess that there’s some kind of vertically, diagonally, and horizontally integrated marketing plan involving the K-Dashes, Cowell, Seacrest, and that Nigel dude getting ever richer while you and I get ever poorer paying inflated prices for a bunch of commercial products we go out and buy in spite of ourselves.
I dunno, if I’m a wannabe star and I look out and see I’m being “judged” by Britney Spears and Demi Lovato, two of the least stable Disney kids not named Lohan ever, what does that tell me about my future? Is it part of these kids’ dream of stardom that they go completely off the rails at one point? When they dream of fame and fortune, do they also dream the subsequent psych hospitalizations? Oh, to be young and dumb and marginally talented.